It's even worse when you realize your country put them there as monetary fallout from a military corporate action, and it will only get worse as time passes, by design, because only one in seven terrestrial humans will ever see them as human and not an inanimate resource.

That's why I prefer LG phones running Windows, as Android lacks the usability of Arc Linux and iPhones are made of frost flowers. I want a phone that works, and is not going to explode in shattered thousand dollar glass if the barometer drops too suddenly. I find that Samsung has been passing its legal losses to the consumer in erased quality control, and Google's impending multibillion dollar loss to the EU will no doubt inspire them to do the same to an operating system that is 90% broken and only runs at all on hype.

How about those fit-bits? Now I can track my heart rate, body temperature and even the number of steps I have taken. Yesterday, I took 3456 steps! Today, I have taken 1437 steps so far. An alarm goes off every 15 minutes to tell me when to get up, so I can watch the number of steps increase in real time. It's just marvelous. The guys at the office make a competition out of it, to see who can get the most steps in a month. But I fear my co-worker Bob is cheating, I've seen him strap the device to his dog when he goes out for a walk. Fuck that guy.

They are pretty wonderful. I went with the Apple watch, although it's inferior in some regards - I'm a bit of a slave to synergy.

Am I missing the joke here?

Quite likely, yes.

the joke is a bunch of fat spergs circle jerking about their manchild trinkets

...while the world burns and people suffer unimaginable hardship.

I'm glad they allowed sports that really reflect their culture.