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Desc:Like all good PUAs, he calls his genitals a 'wrongful mistake' and demands payment for sex
Category:Fashion, Pets & Animals
Tags:cwc, Chris Chan, my genitals are an accident of God, theological conundrums, hahaha paying Chris Chan for sex
Submitted:Sexy Duck Cop
Date:06/24/16
Views:875
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Comment count is 30
13.5
Well, I made it through "hello ladies"
cognitivedissonance
I'd advise that he sells his video games and toys but he's coated them with Model Magic and acrylic paint so it's kind of a hard sell.
Sexy Duck Cop
They would either be worth everything or nothing

themilkshark
WANT WOMAN
Monkey Napoleon
It's hard to believe sometimes just how delusional Chris is. If you can't get anyone to sex on you for nothing, what makes you think they'd pay for it?

I'd probably regret it, but I'd love to see the world like Chris does at least temporarily.
EvilHomer
>> I'd love to see the world like Chris does at least temporarily.

That's why I love the Sonichu comics so much! They're a glimpse into Chris' head; a world of raging narcissism, total self-unawareness, and an unshakeable optimism for the future.

Rosebeekee
How long until one of his trolls actually pays him for sex?
dairyqueenlatifah
Less than 24 hours after seeing this video, I'd guess.

Oscar Wildcat
How long until he puts his anal virginity on ebay?

Sexy Duck Cop
You just know all of this is building up to one of his trolls "ironically" paying, for sex, ""ironically" marrying him, and "ironically" carrying his daughter Crystal Weston Chandler to term.

EvilHomer
JULAAAY JUULAAAYYY JULAAAAY

By which I mean, they've already been "ironically" having phone-and-internet sex with him, not to mention "ironically" trading his sex-tapes and "ironically" painstakingly-cataloguing everything from his dick size to the amount of semen he keeps in his fridge.

Sexy Duck Cop
To be fair, that most recent sex tape was unironically hilarious.

dairyqueenlatifah
I love how even in this context he's still playing the "I have lots of hidden potential!" card.
Sexy Duck Cop
All good sex videos involve the phrase "my genitals are wrongful, depressed sigh"

Scrotum H. Vainglorious
Did he lose his Social Security disability money?
Sexy Duck Cop
Apparently this is an old, "leaked" video from two years ago.

Not that anything's changed.

EvilHomer
This is definitely a "leaked" video, as it has all the hallmarks of a classic CWC leak. I'd have to question the dating, however; that's Naru, her waifu bodypillow, she's snuggling with. Naru and Christine fell in love last month, May 2016, so surely this video can't be older than a month or two?

Sexy Duck Cop
Good point! If Chris-Chan had been rubbing the theological disaster that is his cock against the same cartoon pillow for two straight years, that would be gross and weird.

Gmork
"Naru and christine fell in love.."

A pillow fell in love? Zounds!

EvilHomer
Don't judge people. #loveislove

Sexy Duck Cop
A woman: "I'm pretty horny, so going on the Internet is a good idea! Now let's see...I am feeling pretty indecisive...I wish sex could be really confusing and surreal....maybe borderline nightmarish....and I wanna spend money.....hmmm, yeah, let's just Google that entire train of thought.....oh! Look! This is perfect! And he even refers to his dick as 'wrongful', which is exactly how all great sex begins! With wrongful genitals!"
Sexy Duck Cop
Chris-Chan: "Hello, I am being erotic. As evidence of this claim, I will now denounce my crotch and display the pillow I slap my cock against. Don't worry though! I only have a penis because God makes mistakes!"
cognitivedissonance
"I'm a byoooooooootiful layyyyydy and shit."

Rodents of Unusual Size
DR;TUIMMA

Didn't Read, Threw Up In My Mouth Anyway
Rodents of Unusual Size
Seriously, I'm not clicking on that. It's the most horrifying preload image imaginable.

I haven't watched Chris-Chan in years but I'm amazed he's loose. And by loose I don't mean easy. This is why we need money for insane asylums. This is why some people just need to be taken away and locked up and not allowed to be among the rest of society.

Sexy Duck Cop
At one point in the video, after he declares his crotch proof that God makes mistakes, the camera sort of vaguely hovers over his back, and it looks like he bumped it, but then he announces that he is displaying his "booty" and asks if you like it.

It is pretty much exactly the sort of sight gag from an early 90's Chris Farley movie.

cognitivedissonance
I do not advocate locking Chris up. He'd go into catatonic fugue without his toys and video games and McNuggets.

Sexy Duck Cop
Chris Chan needs a steady diet of totally heterosexual dildos assaulting his completely real vagina at all times or else he turns into Cameron from Ferris Bueller and drowns in a swimming pool.

Sexy Duck Cop
Welp, good job asshole for reporting this video. Clearly Chris-Chan's offer to receive money in exchange for sex was a very real, very pressing concern.

I fucking hate people like this. You know it was some shithead BlueSpike 14 year-old who saw something funny and thought "Wouldn't it be hilarious if no one else could see this? What an epic prank that would be!"
dairyqueenlatifah
Anyone who interferes with my CWC viewership should be shot with Pamperchu's wet diaper cannon.

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