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Desc:In honor of the latest Chandler family drama.
Category:Classic Movies, Arts
Tags:Fritz Lang, m, chrischan, Cole Smithey, manchild deformed by the culture he is trapped in
Submitted:EvilHomer
Date:06/28/16
Views:643
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Comment count is 19
EvilHomer
For those not following: https://kiwifar.ms/threads/27-06-carniggo-hall-reeee.21923/

In related news, Cole is a pretty terrible film critic.
Born in the RSR
I wouldn't say terrible, but pretty bland.

Sexy Duck Cop
EVERYONE CLICK THAT LINK

Oh my God, I wish Chris-Chan was my little brother so I could just have him constantly draw revenge comics about how I pay too much to live in the Statue of Liberty and also dress like Khan from Star Trek.

Cena_mark
He's a hack. He only gave Toy Story 3 a bad review for attention.

Cena_mark
Also Cole lacks blast processing.

EvilHomer
Fair point, RSR, but I'd say that bland is its own form of terrible. Perhaps the worst form of terrible.

Also, the details are buried in that forum, but Chris apparently clarified the puzzling "Cole lives in Carnegie Hall" thing. Cole once sent Chris a postcard with Carnegie Hall on it, so naturally, Chris assumed that was where he lived.

EvilHomer
Cena - I'm not so sure. Cole gave Toy Story 3 a bad review because the 3D wasn't very good, and things didn't jump out at you like they're supposed to. I doubt he was trolling, or even knew what a shitstorm his review would bring.

Sexy Duck Cop
Of course Chris would make that insane string of connections. I spent a week in Rome and found an impossibly hilarious greeting card of a massive, poorly-Photoshopped Pope emerging out of the Colisseum that read WELCOME TO ROME, and ever since I've been living in a hammock I built on Godzilla Pope's balls.

Scrotum H. Vainglorious
What the hell does Cole do for a living? I noticed his web page no longer has a donate button where some of the offerings included a dinner with him for something crazy like ,000.
EvilHomer
He does this. Not sure how or why he makes enough money off his film criticism to live in Manhattan, but there's speculation that he mostly lives off his wife's income (she owns the craft beer bar that he goes to on his ,000 eBay dates).

Also, according to the CWCki, he's close friends with notorious lefty cartoonist, Ted Rall, for some reason. Why Cole hasn't used his connections to get his little sister an underground comic publishing deal is beyond me.

EvilHomer
Actually, now that I think about it, his connections to Mr Rall may well be the reason he keeps getting paid to do film reviews.

cognitivedissonance
Cole is the example Chris has. Cole asks for 00 for a dinner, Chris asks for for cunnilingus.
Sexy Duck Cop
Girl: So wait...you want me to give you to lick your clitoris? That you don't have? I would say you're acting entitled, but this is way too confusing.

Chris: STRESSED SIGH

memedumpster
I have never seen M.
Sexy Duck Cop
I rewatched it last night on Youtube, and it's really, really good. Not in a "Film Student's Homework Assignment" way, but in a "this is genuinely great" way.

Nominal
I dunno. Fritz's stuff from around this period (M and Dr. Mabusa) was groundbreaking pioneer shit in terms of creative use of sound in cinema, but I never found them interesting to watch beyond historical artifacts. I don't think it holds up to stuff made less than 5 years later.

memedumpster
It's on YouTube? I will definitely check it out.

boner
Is he just reading the wikipedia article or something?
Nominal
Wikipedia is written by aspies, so the resemblance is understandable.

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