All I hear is me saying "HAHAHA I WAS JUST JOKING WHEN I SAID SCOTT BAIO WOULD SPEAK.

THAT WAS A JOKE I MADE WEEKS AGO.

THIS IS BEYOND BEYOND PARODY."

I heard Clint Eastwood was scheduled to address an area rug on wednesday.

Is this guy a celebrity? I have no idea who this guy is. I thought, judging by the name, that this video was going to be some kind of reference to Lui Biao, hero of the Yellow Turban Revolt and later nemesis of the Sun family, but obviously that can't be right...

He was Chachi on Happy Days, a show from exactly one billion BC, played Bob Loblaw on Arrested Development, and I THINK he was in Teen Wolf maybe?

Of all the people on planet earth willing to speak out in favor of Donald Trump, "I THINK he was in Teen Wolf maybe?" is the best opening act Trump could find.

Whoever he is, he seems disingenuous. He is presenting a binary choice to his audience - "either you get behind Trump, OR you get behind Hillary". But surely, his audience must be aware that there are more than two parties in the political arena, and that, as citizens of a democracy, it is our inalienable right to choose from any of these parties which we see fit. Why not tell people to get behind Jill Stein, or Gary Johnson, or any number of other candidates? I found a big long list right here:

http://2016.presidential-candidates.org/?other=other

Better yet, Mr Biao could tell people to go home, carefully examine arguments from multiple sources, and then, once they have reached an understanding of the issues, vote not for Scoot Biao's pick, but for whomever they personally feel is best - because really, that's what this election comes down to. It is not "let us all vote, en masse, whichever way Scott Biao tells us to", but rather "let us all vote our own way, each man according to his own individual ethics and reasoned political understanding".

OR, BETTER YET, Mr Biao could have told his audience that this whole "voting" thing is a ritualistic sham, top to bottom; it is nothing more than a way of reinforcing learned helplessness amongst the underclasses and teasing-out the illusion of consent for a social contract that is anything but. Instead of demanding that his poor, scared audience VOTE, perhaps Mr Biao could have quietly suggested some empowering, mutually-beneficial activities that the audience could take part in back home - such as volunteering at a homeless shelter, growing vegetables to provide your neighbourhood with locally-sourced food, reading a classic novel aloud and publishing it on Youtube, or (as I myself have recently done) joining an engineering Co-Op with some likeminded friends?

The RNC should ask me to speak next time, I think.

Oh, the only person I know from Happy Days is Fonzi, and I really only know that because cartoon shows in the 90s (The Simpsons, specifically) referenced him. Also there was some blonde kid called Beaver in it?

I dunno. If they wanted to impress people with a TV celebrity, they should have hired Peter Dinklage or the actress who plays Khaleesi.

Incidentally, David Boarman, Shawna Sterling, and Zoltan Istvan all look like candidates to watch!

Also James Mitchell Jr and Cliffton Richards. David Jon Sponheim, however, comes off like a dick.

"EvilHomer
Whoever he is, he seems disingenuous. "


There is controversy about this. He claims that Trump's invitation was unexpected, last minute, and he was ambivalent about doing it.

But then apparently there are sources close to Baio that claim he actually approached Trump and asked him about doing this months ago.

NOT A JOKE:

I read the name "Scott Baio" and thought, "I know that name from somewhere. Fuck! Where do I know him from? It really took me a minute to remember who the Hell he was. I was about to go to IMDB.

And I fucking GREW UP watching "Happy Days" and "Joanie Loves Chachi."

By the way, Don Most is performing as a stage singer these days. He does a lot of swing and Sinatra-style stuff. I found out about it when he was on "Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast" a little while back.

EH you're older than me, no real excuse to not know who Scott Baio is.

He used to be older than you. You caught up reading EvilHomer posts.

Emilio Estevez.

Frank Stallone.

Shit, I forgot Sexy Duck Cop already did that one.



Howie Mandel.

Eric Roberts.

I suggest the Twitter users who for several hours convinced the world that he had died from diaper rash.

Good one, Bawbag!

I was going to suggest Eric Bogosian but it turns out his career is still OK.

Tomorrow night Frank Stallone and Bobcat Goldthwait are scheduled to give a stirring speech on how, like, name one good thing a Arab ever did. Just one. I challenge you. I am Mr. T and I approve this message.

Charles in Charge.

Chachi.

He was also in Zapped!

Bobcat Goldthwait is way above this shit, show some respect.

Yeah, no dissing Bobcat - he's a respectable comedian. Good standup.

Plus he made Shakes the Clown, which is more than Trump has ever accomplished.

Baio's schedule was waaaay clearer than Bibleman's.

I'm sure Scott Baio is a dynamo! I'm sure he does...things. Oh, the things he does! I mean it's not like Trump is desperate for literally anyone to speak on his behalf.