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Desc:No jury in the quadrant would convict.
Category:Classic TV Clips, Humor
Tags:star trek, murder, voyager, Tuvok, Neelix
Submitted:William Burns
Date:07/31/16
Views:884
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Comment count is 24
SolRo
I thought star fleet forbid using the holodeck to play out your sexual fantasies?
Gmork
What? I don't think so. It's probably the entire reason the holodeck even exists.

memedumpster
The moment the holodeck DRM failed to update from across the galaxy, the engineers and scientists hacked it.

I just realized an early episode of Voyager all about them hacking the sex back into the holodeck to maintain their sanity would have been awesome.

NancyDrewFan123
No way that can be true. Riker banged so many holochicks that an omnipotent reality warper read his mind and got one of his favorite holo-fucks confused with an actual girlfriend.

OxygenThief
Not making the Holodeck so it is powered by ejaculate really was a missed opportunity for the engineers.

EvilHomer
To the best of my knowledge, Riker never actually fucked any of the holochicks, though. He went on dates with them, wined and dined them, but the simulations never seemed to involve sex.

Even Lt Barclay's holodeck Troi was fully-clothed and not-putting-out, so I think Memedumpster is probably correct: there's some kind of anti-sex DRM in the holodeck software.

Bort
I would bet Voyager's crew stopped running sex programs altogether once they discovered the "kill Neelix" option.
Bort
What the -- ? SolRo, you got peanut butter on my joke.

memedumpster
Tuvok made it 66.01 seconds, beating Seven of Nine's record by 0.026 seconds, putting him on top of the ship's Neelix Torture roster. Janeway comes in last at 0.020 seconds, with Chakotay at 0.021 seconds. Some say they are playing a different game altogether.
il fiore bel
I can't say this is much different from fantasies I've played out in my head involving annoying people who demand a smile. Especially if they're strangers.
SolRo
JESUS LOVES YOU!

Ninehells
I dunno. My version has more exposed entrails.

Caminante Nocturno
Computer, end holodeck program.

Computer, delete history.
garcet71283
I want the Next Gen guy to start remixing voyager so bad.
Bort
Because I know too much about this show ... there was once an episode where people found a very strange simulation in the holodeck, in which the Maquis crewmembers rebelled and you were a Starfleet crewmember. It became a hit game among the crew, but nobody knew where it came from. Well, it turns out it was a training exercise Tuvok had created shortly after the merging of the Starfleet and Maquis crews (pilot episode), in case he needed to train his security people to deal with an uprising; but since the crew merger was pretty peaceful, he figured the best thing was to not use the simulation. He just left it in the holodeck where it was eventually discovered.

So there is actually an in-show precedent for "kill Neelix" being a simulation Tuvok leaves lying around and the rest of the crew takes to playing.
TheOtherCapnS
TUVOK'S NEVER GONNA FIND HIS WAY HOME
Gmork
*****

Rodents of Unusual Size
Neelix was the most unnecessary character in Star Trek history.
memedumpster
At least Wesley could save the ship.

garcet71283
Miles Obrien in Next Gen.

His job was to operate the transporter that literally anyone could do from any console at any time.

William Burns
Neelix's job was to cook food nobody liked on a ship full of replicators. He was also Jar-Jar Binks.

(I know, the in the show's logic it was somehow more efficient to stop all the time and forage for perishable food than to store a tank full of atoms. Somehow, this was never an issue before.)

Sanest Man Alive
That was only his job, garcet. O'Brien's true purpose on the ship was to suffer endlessly.

Binro the Heretic
The Star Trek franchises love former "Benson" stars.
Binro the Heretic
Also, I remember this being a particularly stupid episode. It wasn't as stupid as the one where Paris and Janeway are turned into newts but got better. It's probably about as stupid as the other Tuvok-centric episode where the aliens aged backwards.

Anyway, Tuvok mind-melds with a crazy dude because he just can't understand why said crazy dude would murder another dude whom he felt, "looked at him funny." Do Vulcans not understand the concept of mental illness?

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