Well, that makes sense. Knots are for sailors, not puddle pirates.

OOOOOooooooooHHHH!!!

I'm totally a sailor. I just don't tie knots.

Sailors tie knots. You do not tie knots, ergo, not a sailor.

I mean, why else do you think they're called "sailing knots"? Duh.

Maybe if you went and trained on the Eagle alongside the Coast Guard Special Forces, you'd be able to handle knots?

Special forces? The Eagle exists just to look pretty and teach academy dorks how to pull ropes.

Do they make velcro boat hitches?

When you capture a pirate, you'll be thanking your lucky stars that the CG Special Forces are on hand to tie him up.

I'm not a BM I just make them.

Wait, how can YOU make Boatswain's Mates? I thought you didn't know anything about knots? The Coast Guard isn't very professional, but I know they wouldn't let you train Boatswain's Mates unless you knew how to make a proper knot.

No, that was poop joke.

ooooh...

You're not a poop? Of course you're not, nobody said you were, how is that funny?

If you don't tie knots, your boat has no sails.
If your boat has no sails, you're not a sailor.

You're a motorboater.

Motorboaters are way less cool than sailors.