|John Holmes Motherfucker |
Actually, this seems like my usual way of examining spirituality, sexuality, and human relationships.
|John Holmes Motherfucker |
I wish I had five more stars, just for the thumbnail!
It gave me like three pictures to choose from and they were all him doing that
I'd suck his dick, if you know what I mean.
|Hugo Gorilla |
What's most amazing about Kevin Smith is that anyone cares enough about Kevin Smith to like or hate him.
Miss Henson's 6th grade class
No, no, just the first half of that equation. Someone in the business said that he'd created "a Special Olympics for Film." Too perfect, really.
John Holmes Motherfucker
I feel like his movies are pleasant and original enough, but he could be a great filmmakler if he was willing to do the work, and he just isn't. Clerks was an impressive achievement for a tiny budget, and Dogma was actually inspired. Everything else is okay, and okay isn't bad. He seems to be having a good time, and he's a great fan.
I like Kevin Smith okay, but I don't like him as much as having my cock sucked.
Going back and watching Clerks today, two things jump out at me: one, young Kevin Smith really had messed-up ideas about women, and two, it's amazing that there was a time when two two-absorbed pricks making rambling aimlessly about pop culture was considered revolutionary filmmaking. Now we just call that Youtube.
Oh and also, if you ever doubt the perfection of George Lucas' writing, a convenient contractor will show up out of nowhere to assure you that everyone on the Death Star was actually evil.
Clerks came out at exactly the right time: at the crest of postmodernism and deconstruction humor but before the internet made it cliche.
It is crazy unwatchable today, and his movies have only gotten worse. I think the one and only post Clerks joke I ever laughed at was "This is gonna make House Party 3 look like House Party 2!"
I had the same reaction to watching Pulp Fiction for the first time in 2010. "Oh my god people thought this was fresh, groundbreaking dialog back then."
The only funny thing to come from Clerks was the "Korean animated" bit from the cartoon show.
>Someone in the business said that he'd created "a Special Olympics for Film." Too perfect, really
During the 1990s boom in indie films, Kevin Smith said something along the lines of how it showed "anyone can make a movie", which judging by the detritus of that period of indie film, was all too true. For every halfway decent indie feature there were way too many movies about obnoxious self-absorbed twentysomethings having blathering conversations about relationships and you know, stuff. Kevin Smith was not even the worst of those, I think Edward Burns helped get that sort of thing rolling with the critically feted but abysmal "Brothers McMullen".
"young Kevin Smith really had messed-up ideas about women"
I have to give him a little more credit than that: while his views were indeed flawed, let's bear in mind where America's views on women and dating were in the 20th century.
Date rape? It was considered normal enough, and even kind of funny, for men to try to force themselves on their dates. (I tried to post this ages ago, and I'm still peeved it never made it out of the hopper: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9eHdb2bR9g )
Taking advantage of a drunk girl? Closer to acceptable back then. I remember a "Malcolm in the Middle" where Malcolm had the opportunity to do just that at a party, chose not to, but felt like a loser for not doing so until his brother Francis convinced him that it meant he wasn't a "creep". These days we'd probably use the word "rapist".
And then the entire concept of slut-shaming: that's a distinctly 21st century expression of how hypocritical it is for men to own their sexuality in ways women may not. The concept existed in the 20th century -- it's even a point in "Clerks" -- but it didn't reach common acceptance until the 21st.
So Kevin Smith in 1995 was doing all right for 1995, I think. Still flawed, but not particularly messed up.
How fucking old are these clips that not once it he wearing a sports jersey mumu?
Actually there's a few clips in which he is wearing exactly that! Off the top of my head they're "Suckin' my dick", "Suckin' my dick", "I'D SUCK YOUR DICK!" and "Dick Tastes Yummy (x4)"
Truly a spokesman for a generation.
Suckin' on "chili dogs"
Behind the comic book store
|Jack Dalton |
Looking back on your teenage cultural heroes is always going to invite disappointment. Kevin Smith movies were basically long-form conversations that Kevin Smith had with himself-- and it appealed to boys who wanted to safely rebel against cultural tastes and norms. There were not many film-makers or public figures who were pissing people off like him in the 90s, and I thought it was cool then-- so there is that.
But if you really think about it, Kevin Smith movies are basically about Kevin Smith sucking his own dick, squinting at his balls approvingly, and a climax where his dick finally comes to terms with swallowing him. So there is also that.
I really, really don't mind that Kevin's works from 20 years ago were about him coming to terms with himself. He wouldn't be the first man to have trouble understanding women, and at least he presented his conclusions by the end of "Clerks" and "Chasing Amy".
Where I find Kevin Smith frustrating is that he kind of got stuck there, in this zone of perpetual post-adolescence. It's one thing to be a nerd who likes comic books (guilty as charged), but beyond a certain point you're also expected to be the kind of person people look at and say, "oh yeah, him, he's a responsible adult who's got his act together". I like to imagine what Kevin Smith could do in a film about being an adult -- not just pining for lost youth (which is lazy as fuck) but what his journey into middle age, fatherhood, and responsibility has taught him.
Instead he's crying over Groot. And, his daughter (in high school these days) is named Harley Quinn Smith. Good God.
| Register or login To Post a Comment|