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Desc:Promises, promises...
Category:News & Politics, Educational
Tags:Wall, Virginia, glenn beck, deal with it, trump
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Comment count is 23
TheOtherCapnS - 2016-08-25
Glenn Beck: Voice of Reason
John Holmes Motherfucker - 2016-08-25
Dear Hillary, Please don't talk about whether the alt-right is racist or not. They are, of course, but objectively proving it is a stupid, circular discussion that means nothing and goes nowhere. As long as you've decided to have this discussion, let's make it a discussion worth having. Don't analyze or characterize. Keep it objective. Talk about the terrible things they say and do. Just list them. There are literally thousands.
EvilHomer - 2016-08-26
Hi John, in your opinion, was robbing Haiti 'racist', or merely evil?

If you'd like, you may answer in the form of a pretend dialogue between Hillary and the children of Haiti.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2016-08-26
>>If you'd like, you may answer in the form of a pretend dialogue between Hillary and the children of Haiti.

I don't know anything about this, so I'm going to answer in the form of a pretend musical number. Hillary Clinton is singing Alice Cooper's "School's Out, and the children of Haiti join in on the "No more pencils, no more books" part.


Not to be outdone, Donald Trump covers the Offspring's "Pretty Fly (For a White Guy), backed up by Sarah Palin and Gretchen Carlson chanting "Give it to me, baby!"


EvilHomer - 2016-08-26
>>I don't know anything about this

Don't you think it's a good thing to know about?

She's your candidate, you should care (at least a little) about what she does and what she stands for. Why else would you support her?

Sexy Duck Cop - 2016-08-26
EH: I'm voting for Hillary because I am a rational human being.

EvilHomer - 2016-08-26
Conversation between Hillary and the children of Haiti, please?

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2016-08-26
>>>Don't you think it's a good thing to know about?

For an encore, Donald Trump and the reanimated corpse of Sammy Davis, Jr. perform a spot-on song and dance routine of "Me and My Shadow", and the crowd loves it!

EvilHomer - 2016-08-26
OK, John.

What about that time Donald Trump sold uranium mines to the Russians, in return for a massive donation to the Trump Foundation? Was THAT evil?

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2016-08-26
Hillary Clinton:
Kids, what does Barak Obama look like?

Children of Haiti:
(confused and frightened) What?

Hillary Clinton
What country you from?

Children of Haiti: What?

Hillary Clinton: “What” ain’t no country I ever heard of! They speak French in “what”?

Children of Haiti: What?

Hillary Clinton:
French, motherfuckers! Do you speak it?

Children of Haiti: Yes!

Hillary Clinton: Then you know what I’m saying!

Children of Haiti: Yes!

Hillary Clinton: Describe what Marsellus Wallace looks like!

Children of Haiti: What?

[pointing his gun]

Hillary Clinton: Say “what” again. Say “what” again! I dare you, I double dare you little motherfuckers! Say “what” one more Goddamn time.

Children of Haiti: He’s…he’s…b-b-black…
Hillary Clinton: Go on.
Children of Haiti: He’s…he’s skinny…

Hillary Clinton: Does he look like a bitch?
Children of Haiti: What?
[Hillary Clinton shoots one of the children]

Hillary Clinton: Does he look like a bitch?!
Children of Haiti: [in terror] No!
Hillary Clinton: Then why you try to fuck him like a bitch, Kids?
Children of Haiti: We didn’t.
Hillary Clinton: Yes you did. Yes you did, Kids. You tried to fuck him. And Barak Obama don’t like to be fucked by anybody, except Mrs. Obama, and Debbie Wasserman-Schulz, and the Dixie Chicks, and sometimes Joe Biden.

Hillary Clinton: You read the Bible, kids?

Children of Haiti: [in spasm] Yes.

Hillary Clinton: Well there’s this passage I got memorized, Ezekiel 25:17. “The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.”

[Hillary Clinton and her aides then both proceed to kill Haitian children. The slaughter continues for several days.]

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2016-08-26
Shit, I left at least one "Marcellus Wallace" in!

EvilHomer - 2016-08-26
Yeah, well, hate to say it, but you're right. That's pretty close to what went down - although in that particular instance, Obama was less Marcellus Wallace than he was Vince Vega. (Marcellus was the American NGO-Industrial Complex)

Which brings me back to the question of, was Hillary being racist, or merely evil?

EvilHomer - 2016-08-26
...or maybe Jules was the NGOs and the Haitian government, while the Clintons were Wallace?

I dunno. I'm trying to be generous here, help you out with your own dumb metaphor, so we can get to the important bits.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2016-08-25
When they surgically removed that hemorrhoid from Glenn Beck, it must have been a huge relief for the hemorrhoid.
Bobonne - 2016-08-25
You genuinely have to wonder if it's an issue of on-meds/off-meds with him.

bongoprophet - 2016-08-26
Remember when he was crying in front of a whiteboard every week? Man I miss those times, those were good times, simpler times.

Now Beck doesn't like Trump because Trump is not religious enough or enough of a hypocrite about religion and it is all just strange.

wtf japan - 2016-08-26
Father Coughlin probably would have turned on Huey Long eventually too.

Binro the Heretic - 2016-08-26
If Trump does somehow get elected, the silver lining will be watching his supporters turn on him like a pack of rabid dogs when he fails to follow through with his campaign promises to them.
John Holmes Motherfucker - 2016-08-26
Did anybody notice that Beck looks like Archie Bunker? If that not worth 5 stars, what is?
EvilHomer - 2016-08-26
This isn't a "thing" you're doing, is it?

You really are incapable of thinking about something unless it directly involves television shows, or outdated pop songs from your youth. That truly is the way you see the world around you. :/

Oscar Wildcat - 2016-08-26
No, and my god he does now look like him. Chilling.

themilkshark - 2016-08-26
It's like he's doing a late night monologue but even less funny, and it's nonstop

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2016-08-27
>>>This isn't a "thing" you're doing, is it?

You really are incapable of thinking about something unless it directly involves television shows, or outdated pop songs from your youth. That truly is the way you see the world around you. :/

I'm sort of obsessed with the internet, and the possibility that it may be destroying Democracy.

Homer, I have this persistent paranoid delusion that if i get into a complex discussion with you, you're going to jerk me around until my head explodes. I'm trying to get help for it.

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