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Desc:A van so ugly it's cute.
Category:Science & Technology, Arts
Tags:florida, New Jersey, vans, vanning
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Comment count is 21
Oscar Wildcat - 2016-08-26
Fuckin' Piney. If you're gonna call your conversion van the Jersey Devil, the creature ought to at least be airbrushed on the side.
Old_Zircon - 2016-08-26
At least it has a Muriel of an eagle.

glasseye - 2016-08-26
And an overhead council.

TheyUsedDarkForces - 2016-08-26
So much time and money into that monstrosity... And honestly, though it is deeply ugly, it isn't as bad as many I've seen in the Vanning community. And the synergy between Chet Molnar and the Jersey Devil was perfect.

Also, for those not in the know, my understanding of the 2% thing (seen lettered above his windshield) in Vanning is that it's basically the opposite of the 1% concept in the motorcycle world. 2%ers want to promote a family friendly environment at Van meets and such.

Gaudy custom car week?
Old_Zircon - 2016-08-26
This is a truly ugly van, the front end has been modified to look like it already ran into a telephone pole. I appreciate the craftsmanship, though. I'm not a car guy but I used to have a pretty serious motorhead roommate (we had more or less an entire BMW parted out on the living room ping pong table and basement floor for the whole time I lived there) so I've assisted in servicing and parting out enough old cars to appreciate that whoever did that had skills.

Needs more oak running boards and shag to be a proper van, though.

Oscar Wildcat - 2016-08-26
The more I look at it, the more I think that what makes it ugly are the color choices. Black, purple and wood????

Maggot Brain - 2016-08-26
It has a face that only a mother can love but I kind of like it in a retro-futuristic way. It fully embraces the aesthetics of the early computer age whilst still calling computers "those television sets for math queers."

Oscar Wildcat - 2016-08-26
It's true name should be Tandy Company.

Old_Zircon - 2016-08-26
I'd be OK with it if it didn't have a front end like a Persian cat.

Old_Zircon - 2016-08-26
Also a proper van should be big enough for at least 3 people to bone in it.

Oscar Wildcat - 2016-08-26
Say, if you did the whole thing in flat black, you could be love trucking with Darth Vader and the Empire riding shotgun.

Oscar Wildcat - 2016-08-26
Slave Leia chained to a Death Star brushed on the side, Luke Skywalker's severed hand covers the stick shift, and the Imperial March on loop in the 8 track.

Raggamuffin - 2016-08-27
The 2% thing is better understood to mean something like "party dude", and "hardcore vanner" whatever that really means in this context. C&D did a article on vanners that has a pretty concise explanation:

http://www.caranddriver.com/features/we-attend-the-43rd-annual -van-nationals-in-style-feature

TheyUsedDarkForces - 2016-08-27
Thanks, there are some great pictures in that C&D article.

memedumpster - 2016-08-27
You all have to call me Darth Vanner from now on, guys, it's my sexual identity.

Monkey Napoleon - 2016-08-26
Some of the body work looks pretty janky. The front is horrible, and OZ might not be too far off the mark. You'd have to be crazy to do THAT to a body that doesn't have anything wrong with it, especially when they've been making good fiberglass and plastic kits since this kinda thing was popular. Also, that's not great custom work. The guy who did it knew how to run a welder and a grinder and knew enough to get things mostly straight. That's not nothing, but it's not talent either.

Something I notice about these van guys is for supposedly loving these things so much, their maintenance looks pretty shoddy. With hot rod guys, there's this thing where if something starts to rust you leave it alone until it becomes an actual problem. I kind of get that, because you don't want to fuck with factory paint or start patching up factory metal if you can help it... especially when you're talking about a car that's worth more as a rusted out shell than a modern car that runs and drives.

Chipped paint and rusted doors in a car that your white trash buddy replaced 50% of with industrial cast-off sheet metal seems... sort of lazy.
TheyUsedDarkForces - 2016-08-26
Yeah, there is a lot of work here relative to what has been achieved, but it isn't particularly artistic and there isn't any real engineering evident. I'd bet that all that steel is covered in gallons of Bondo, especially anywhere there's a non-stock curve. I'm not saying that Bondo is necessarily bad in the right application, but he's definitely downplaying it by repeatedly referring to things as "all steel."

I agree on the maintenance in regards to van people. Look at the ignition coil on that engine... It's a cheap, easily replaced part that is covered in rust. I'm sure it works fine, so maybe replacing it would be overkill (depending on budget), but it definitely needs to get taken off of there and cleaned up. Certainly not something someone with high standards would want to show off. Check out any old school low rider show for the other end of the spectrum, even their unfinished project cars are usually immaculate.

I understand that vanning is more about the partying and camping out than the craftsmanship or man-hours one invests, though, so maybe I shouldn't be so harsh. All the automotive sub-sub cultures have their own priorities, after all.

Old_Zircon - 2016-08-26
I just assumed it was all hand-formed steel welded and then ground/filed/sanded smooth, I forgot about Bondo.

I'd still take a van over a hot rod any day, but maybe not this van. It doesn't even have port holes!

Old_Zircon - 2016-08-26
Anyway, I'm glad PoeTV has caught the Fun-truckin' bug.

memedumpster - 2016-08-27
I find your lack in faith in bondo disturbing, Admiral.

stifford - 2016-08-27
I don't think it looks too bad.
You know what it could use, though?
Like 8 more inches of headroom...
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