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Category:Humor, Arts
Tags:Star Wars, RedLetterMedia, half in the bag
Submitted:Albuquerque Halsey
Date:12/19/16
Views:980
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Comment count is 49
badideasinaction
I feel like they glossed over some more legitimate beefs with the movie in favor of favor of "how dare Star Wars be different" fan grousing, despite them claiming exactly the opposite.

That being said, the movie had issues; I'd be really curious to see the pre-reshoot version because the beginning really wasn't very cohesive. Too many locations, too many steps, too many characters and often for little benefit. It felt like they were obligated to keep some people and events in the movie to try and fill in missing information lost to the cutting room floor.

Kinda spoilers below:

There's a lean, mean story in there but everything felt needlessly complicated. They skipped the opening text crawl and replaced it with a bunch of disjointed scenes instead. Forest Whitaker's character feels like they kept him in because he was on the poster. Darth Vader's first scene almost completely replicates an earlier exchange and adds nothing besides fanboy visuals. The weird brain-drilling tentacle monster did nothing but explain why the pilot was a space case, but served no real purpose in the story. Stuff like that was them keeping random stuff in to make up for plot holes from their edits.

The action at the end was well-done, but the setup to get there could have been much better executed. I liked it, but it had issues.
Old_Zircon
""how dare Star Wars be different" fan grousing"

I'm a few minutes in and so far its been a relentless barrage of exactly the opposite of that.

Unless they do a big 180 at some point, so far I'm getting that their big complaint was that it didn't really do anything to distinguish or justify itself as a complete, standalone film and just relied on references to the original trilogy.

badideasinaction
They want the movie to be like all the others in tone, I consider that "how dare Star Wars be different". They have a very specific tone that they think Star Wars should be, and this falls outside of that, so they disliked it. I do agree the reference dropping and pandering in these movies is annoying, but saying its bad because it's not space opera feels like it's missing a chance to try different stuff.

Other film franchises have swung all over the map in tone (Bond, Aliens, Star Trek, Hell, even their beloved Marvel stuff), it just felt short-sighted for them to knock it for that. I will concede their point about the characters being pretty flat, which is a hard knock on the movie.

kingarthur
But they didn't do that. They quite clearly state that Star Wars is a narrow idea that doesn't seem to fit a lot of different interpretations but applaud them for trying something different - the problem is that it's not too different. They're also Star Trek people and, like me, have pretty much the same exact opinion of Star Wars fans as I do.

badideasinaction
I know - I'd like to disagree on the point that Star Wars has to be narrow. They may be right, but I'd like to hope one can do more than that with the movies. Time will tell I guess. Somewhere in Rogue One was the possibility of a very good, but also very grim and tragic movie that would never be made under Disney.

I thought TFA was a much better-crafted movie but didn't really feel like it was trying anything interesting, so I liked Rogue One better despite worse execution. And both needed to lay off on the callbacks (callforwards?) they sprinkle throughout.

I like Star Wars in general, but I can't say that I'm a super fan - hell, I haven't even seen all of the movies. I hope they make for relatively interesting popcorn films and they can get past the constant references and retelling of the same plot.

So yeah, agree to disagree with them for now, but I hope they're wrong on Star Wars being one-note.

Nominal
I'm wondering how anyone managed to like Force Awakens beyond "at least it was shot and acted more competently than the prequels".

I always felt there was a chance for a good story buried under the prequels. Scrap the first two, move the Clone Wars to the background where it belonged, focus entirely on Palpatine's rise to power in the first half, the aftermath of declaring himself emperor in the second half, and of course keep Lucas away from every aspect.

Force Awakens just rushed along not developing anything because they had to cram the plots and themes of all 3 original trilogy into one movie. It felt like half fan fiction (holy shit was Rey the biggest Mary Sue), half soulless corporate marketing checklist of references.

Maggot Brain
I really hated The Force Awakens aka Elvis and Costello meet the Star Wars. The movie didn't really have a plot just a bunch of coincidences. They just happen to meet Han on what just happens to be his old ship. Then they go to the planet that just happens to have Luke's lightsaber and also just happens to be in the same solar system to see three other planets destroyed but not blown-up itself. Po just happens to show up at the end and so on. Rouge One may of had a ton location jumping but at lest there was a reason for them to be there.

The thing that get's me is that before the Rouge One came out they made this big to-do about "beefing up charter moments" most of which fall kind of flat. When Jyn meets Mon Mathma, The scene in the jail cell on Jeda, When Jyn is reunited with Sal, When the get the mission to kill Jyn's dad, all of those scenes needed to work, they could of, but they didn't. The only scene that worked is when the Captain says "I've been do this since I was six." That worked, and even though I didn't like it when Vader was killing everyone at the end, that worked. The odd thing about those two scenes the movie feels A LOT like Alien, and I'm only left to wonder if that was what the original cut of the movie was like, like the first Alien movie, where a bunch of "blue collar" heroes find out a secret that may get them all killed, but first Alien is not a feel good movie, and it's definitely not a war movie, it's a slasher where the killer is a big, black, death-dick and a faceless corporation and you can't have a star wars movie where Han Solo gets fucked to death by a big, black, death-dick.

spikestoyiu
The beginning was ridiculous. My poor girl, who took me to see the movie, turned to me and just started laughing after they introduced the like 50th planet within 10 minutes.

Last 30-40 minutes are great though, who cares

Nominal
Yes! Force Awakens was very Abbot and Costello. It bugged me the same way The Last Crusade as Laurel and Hardy bugged me. An overlord of cutesy wackiness. Joss Whedon disease strikes again (in videogames, also known as Nathan Drake disease)

Everyone was a Quippy McQuipster. Poe was Ash from Evil Dead. Quippity quip quip nobody wanted to be the straight man. Quipping even when it made no sense for the character. How the hell is Finn, a conditioned stormtrooper from birth, in an environment where individuality is repressed lest they send you to reconditioning, able to quip with the quippiest? Why is new Darth Vader comedy fodder for freaked out storm troopers? How the hell is Han just discovering Chewie's bowcaster, the source of many quips?

The entire movie just flatlined for me. The only reason I didn't shut it off and finished watching it was for the Redlettermedia video.

Mr. Purple Cat Esq.
This is one of their funnest reviews in a while!
Mr. Purple Cat Esq.
Someone needs to start a channel where they review film reviews!!

bawbag
Grown-ass adults analysing and carping over the content of kid movies forever. Painful.
John Holmes Motherfucker
At least they're not reviewing TRAILERS. That's the worst.

I never watch these videos, but I'm giving it five stars because it pisses me off when people leave one star without even a word of explanation.

EvilHomer
And you dorks are grown-ass adults analyzing and carping over grown-ass adults analyzing and carping over the content of kids movies. And, in your case John, you up the ante by analyzing and carping over the rating habits of grown-ass adults analyzing and carping over the grown-ass adults analyzing and carping over the content of kids movies.

Cena_mark
Adults have a place in judging children's movies because good children's movies also happen to be good adult movies. No one cares about kids movies that only kids like, they don't become classics. That's why cartoons are so great nowadays. MLP, Steven Universe, and Adventure Time aren't simply great kid's shows, they're great shows.

bawbag
@JHM: yeah I gave it 5 for the fact that it will no doubt turn into more walls of text whereupon apparently grown men take it upon themselves to write their doctoral commenter's theses on their favourite childhood space fairytale franchises.

@EH: can't see;didn't read. I'm sure it's -riveting- though.

@cenahomer: lol no.

Cena_mark
It was riveting. Let me help you out.
EvilHomer
And you dorks are grown-ass adults analyzing and carping over grown-ass adults analyzing and carping over the content of kids movies. And, in your case John, you up the ante by analyzing and carping over the rating habits of grown-ass adults analyzing and carping over the grown-ass adults analyzing and carping over the content of kids movies.

bawbag
Oh while I'm here...

The new and revised Bawbag's guide to blocking dull, repetitive novelty troll posters here on POEtv.

"Step 1: Install UBlock Origin:https://github.com/gorhill/uBlock
Step 2: open up the settings, (whitelist POEtv obviously) go to 'My Filters' tab and paste the following:

poetv.com##div[style="padding-left: 30px;"]:has(a[href="/users.php?userid=13598"])
poetv.com##td[class='video-text']:has(a[href="/users.php?useri d=13598"])

(replace the user ID number with any user, in this case I've chosen evilhomer because his post-election schtick is boring the fucking tits off me)

Step 3: apply changes and voila, no more comments from that user will be visible. You will still see their video submissions but any comments they make will be filtered entirely. The only visible sign will be a double linebreak where their reply would have been. No more wall of text about ponyfucker cartoons or devil's advocate shit on every goddamn subject.

How does it look in practice? http://imgur.com/aqI6ZJm"

EvilHomer
True as usual, Cena.

The funny thing about kids is, most of them have parents. These parents are USUALLY adults, and have to watch the same movies their kids watch,or at least be willing to purchase them for their children. Thus, in order to be a classic kids movie, a film must also be a good adult movie.

People who complain about "adults having opinions regarding Star Wars", either don't understand what such movies are about, or do understand, yet nevertheless make a conscious decision to be snotty hipsters. "Look at me, I'm *NOT* caring about Star Wars, ooo look how mature I am, unlike those dumb fat manchildren on my computer screen!"

Somewhat related note: who'd be the best Gem for a Christmas present? I'm trying to find a Steven Universe plushie for a friend of mine, and while I'm kind of leaning towards a Steven one, I'm open to suggestions.

bawbag
Yes, truly riveting EvilCenaHoMark. Not at all part of the usual schtick that made me block you in the first place, and now your alt account too. Shame really.

EvilHomer
You could tell Bawbag the first few paragraphs of that, too, but I'd rather you didn't - he put a great deal of effort into creating that No-Homers-Allowed safespace of his, and is obviously quite proud of it!

I would not want to make him feel worse or inadvertently hurt his feelings, particularly not so close to the holidays.

EvilHomer
Oh. Well, nevermind, seems our nice friend Mr Bawbag has blocked you, too!

It's probably for the best, really, since his trolling was getting a little tiresome.

Cena_mark
Right now there isn't a huge selection of SU plushes so I'd go with the Steven one.
Bawbag, I know you can't read this cause you're a bitch made safe space seeking, un-POETV spirited sack of shit, but I just want to say that you're censoring punk ass and fuck you. You don't belong here.

Cena_mark
Such a gormless, humorless, uptight bitch. He might as well censor everyone he disagrees with his. He's the only one who's cared about his stupid censoring code. No one else gives a shit about it or you, Bawbag.

bawbag
http://imgur.com/lT126uE

Cena_mark
I figured you'd block me the moment I reposted one of Homer's posts. Nothing of value was lost. Now everyone can see what a bitch you are.

EvilHomer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwDasayClD4

What I REALLY wanted to do was custom-design her a Zarya from Overwatch 3D printed figurine, but the model kept violently exploding off my buildplate, so SU plushy it will have to be, then! I feel bad encouraging her obsession with Steven, but she looks like him and she loves the show, so fuck it. The plushy is hers, 'cuz that's the kind of gentleman I am.

bawbag
http://imgur.com/GyTDdIw

kingarthur
Damn. He called you bitch-made. You gonna stand for that?

bawbag
I didn't see it, but in any case it's one of those woefully gendered insults that reveals so much more about his own personal 'str8 guy' insecurities than anything else.

He's essentially debasing himself over my choice to ignore him and annoying a fuckload of other users (in multiple comment threads) into the bargain. The South Park vid in the hopper is just the icing on the cake, which is why I eagerly upvoted it. :D

Nominal
Please add me to your block list. Please?

bawbag
I don't recall having any sort of issue with you Nominal, You can add me to your very own ignore list should you so choose. :)

Nominal
At this point the only use I'd have for a blocker would be to block the blocker instructions spam in every video.

bawbag
'Every video'.

Totally not hyperbole there at all dude. I've posted it where relevant and avoided doing so everywhere else but you clearly have a sore toe I've trod on at some point. *shrug*

You're free to 'simply ignore' the posts/posters you don't like -any time- and if that fails, there's a UBlock solution right there for you :)

Nominal
Not that EvilHomer isn't boring, long winded, passive aggressive, and generally useless to discussion,

but as far as what you're accusing him of, I'd say you're the one who's slightly behind SolRo and Shoebox Joe for most consistently bad tempered and antagonistic user here.

Who do you actually enjoy here? You only seem happy when you're spitting venom at a video subject or other user, and are a key player in people trying to turn this place into nothing but attacking each other.

bawbag
Sorry, I must have taken a wrong turn into Portal of Positivity where nobody fought for myriad dumb reasons until I stopped lurking and started posting here.

Nice try though dude, still not ignoring you

bawbag
I agree with your comment on 'Force Awakens' btw.

Sexy Duck Cop
Bawbag literally just described film criticism.

bawbag
Sad but true.

Maggot Brain
Eh~It was okay.

My advice is just like video games, don't buy Star Wars movies at launch. Wait for the third edition.
dairyqueenlatifah
Yawn.
Old_Zircon
I didn't even know they'd started shooting yet.
EvilHomer
Is it actually out? My friends and I typically go to see every new Star Wars release, regardless of how crap it might be, but there's been nary a peep out of anyone over this.

dairyqueenlatifah
Nary a peep? It made $290 million over the weekend and no one can shut the hell up about it where I live.

SolRo
this is the in-between star wars that will happen every other year.

the main star wars will be next year.




this is Lucas's revenge for people bitching about him screwing up star wars. he gets billions of dollars, you get a new star wars movie every year foooooooreeeeeeeeeveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeer

Nominal
I honestly thought it was a mini-series until last week.

Tough American Bouncer
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StanleyPain
I saw this yesterday. I thought it was decent enough movie and it's probably the best Star Wars prequel that could ever be made; I always assumed "prequel" movies for SW would be something like this as opposed to trying to tie into the story of the Skywalkers and all that BS.
The movie suffers a bit from the fanservice-y stuff, I will agree, but that's really nothing compared to the basic writing problems the script has, primarily that Felicity Jones has no characterization at all and that the people with her actually seem oddly deeper and more fleshed out despite being on the sides. The hamfisted way they give the film a "bad guy" (as if a massive, oppressive fascist force isn't enough on its own) was problematic too. That said, I think it was pretty good for what it was supposed to be. It's the kind of Star Wars movie I always wanted to see since I was a kid: i.e. a film that took place somewhere in the background of the setting, but not being directly placed into the space opera stuff. Personally, I didn't have a problem with them attempting to tie the film directly into New Hope, although the CGI Carrie Fisher was totally unnecessary.
Donnie Yen's criminal under-use was pretty lame, though.
TeenerTot
I agree with most of what you said.
I enjoyed it. Yes, it's flawed, but it was really nice to leave the baggage of the prequels behind and try something else.

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