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Desc:"where nothing can possi-blye go wrong."
Category:Nature & Places, Advertisements
Tags:stock footage, fyre festival, accidental gulag
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Comment count is 25
5 for scamming trustafarians
for whoever doesn't know the backstory;

http://nymag.com/thecut/2017/04/fyre-festival-exumas-bahamas-d isaster.html

They'll never get duped into spending what the average U.S. household earns per year on traveling to an unproven music event again!

They topped Dashcon for maximum trollage.
The footage coming out of there is pretty good. The lack of sufficient lighting really gives it a nice post-apocalyptic Cannibal-food internment camp vibe.
Miss Henson's 6th grade class
I was under the impression that waterskis were generally favored by lower-middle classy, half-trashy people. Or has that changed?

Also, the fact that they don't mention any musical acts at all should have raised a red flag for somebody.
Caminante Nocturno
The phrase "Once owned by Pablo Escobar" should have raised some suspicions, as well.

Waterskiis are like cheap beer. Only a certain type buys them, but most everyone will partake given the opportunity

You guys mean jetskis? Universally hated unless you're on one. Also remember that hot chicks can make anything look cool

I've been laughing since they brought out a fan and a bucket of shit and set them next to each other on stage.

Hopefully the "organizers" are creative with their swindled loot. I'm gonna be disappointed if they're found merely doing coke off a dead stripper's ass somewhere in Michigan.
Step One: Advertise a "transformative" luxury music festival with $12,000 tickets.

Step Two: Build a gigantic meat grinder disguised as a margarita pool.

Step Three: ???

Step Four: Rid the world of the problem.
Don't wuss out. Step 3 is "hit the power switch."

optional step is "feed the evidence to the hungry and lame"

laughing all the way to international waters is simply a given.

The Mothership
Apparently hot chicks will be there.
Miss Henson's 6th grade class
Yeah, but the hot chicks in this video don't look like the sort of hot chicks that will like, do it with you. That's what metal festivals, house music, and (occasionally) indie rock shows are for.

Maybe it failed because everyone wanted a once in a lifetime, transformative quest experience on the border of the impossible featuring scads of shredded beefcake.

Found out my friend was stranded on Exuma when I saw his wife quoted in the Vice article.

Scrotum H. Vainglorious
Terrorists you had a golden opportunity but you blew it.
You can't go in the water in the Exumas because the sharks associate humans with food:



PoeTV you don't want to miss this tweet: http://tinyurl.com/lp3j5xm
Caminante Nocturno
That thing is destined to be the Sam Beckett of disastrous events and conventions.

So it's basically Dashcon, Las Pegasus Unicon, and Woodstock '99 rolled up into one.
What got to me was all of the people complaining, these alleged adults, acting like they were stranded on some remote sliver of land surrounded by miles of sea, and not the largest and most inhabited cay in the Bahaman district of Exuma.

These people expected a luxury experience and got a regular camping experience. They had large tents which they could have easily shared with each other, but instead they fought over them and at least one person set their tent on fire because they hated it. Their food was not the best but far from trash or gruel – one person complained that for breakfast they "only" got “Eggo waffles, cinnamon rolls and room temperature coffee.”


Here’s the map on the island's website where you can see the town has several restaurants and stores these pussies could have gone to for sustenance.

What happened there was hardly like ‘Lord of the Flies,’ sure these people were were scammed, but at the end of the day they were adults who paid to be on an inhabited island and some of them only took hours to start looting and rioting.
From what I've read, many did just that and found hotels.

It seems that only the exceptionally stupid remained to burn things down.

So basically it's Burning Man with water.
So basically it's Dashcon with rich adults.

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