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Desc:Four seconds, does what it says on the tin. Perfection.
Category:Humor, Accidents & Explosions
Tags:short and sweet, secretariat, NOOOOO, knife kid, slingshot effect
Submitted:tethercat
Date:11/22/17
Views:740
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Comment count is 21
tethercat
Just... everything.
Spit Spingola
Never gets old.
Anaxagoras
You're not kidding. I'm on my tenth viewing, and his delivery of "A knife!!!!" *still* gets me.

yogarfield
This kid is going places. Hospital, morgue, etc.
garcet71283
I know right? He's gonna make a great surgeon one day with those knife skills!

jangbones
I think if you have an above ground swimming pool, all running children are issued knives
Oscar Wildcat
...because scissors just weren't badass enough for this kid.
TeenerTot
So simple, yet so perfect.
kingofthenothing
You never freak out like that. Instead of "NOOO!" you go "Oh, cool, can I see it?"

Kid will just give you the knife.
Simillion
Decision tree:

You spot Timmy running with a sharp object.

How do you respond?

a. "NOOO!!!" (proceed to chase down Timmy)
b. "Cool! Can I see it?"
>b

...Timmy approaches and offers the knife, smiling.
You take the knife(negative punishment), then decide how to respond:
a. (positive reinforcement) "Good boy! Now please never do that again, okay?"
b. (positive punishment) *Spank Timmy.* "Bad boy! Don't run with knives ever again!"

kingofthenothing
>open mailbox, take everything

Am I doing it right?

Adham Nu'man
>b

I wanna see where it goes.

Simillion
...After a brief spanking and sending Timmy away, the rest of the day was uneventful in your mind. Most just had a good laugh about Timmy's antics, though you had a moment of real fear that there would be a hospital visit. You gave yourself a pat on the back for pain and danger averted.

Timmy did not understand the danger he was in, however. In fact, much like many children who are given similar lessons early in life, he resented his punishment and only wanted more to do with knives.

The next time Timmy found a knife, he didn't have his mom around to scold him. He did learn that knives...HELD IN FRONT OF MOM... meant spankings, but not much else.

"Research also shows that it does not actually weaken a person’s behavior when punished, it simply suppresses it. If a teenager or child fears being punished, they may continue to do the undesirable outcomes away from the “punisher”; in essence, they don’t like the punishment, but they may still enjoy the behavior itself (APA & Smith, 2012)."

As a five year old, Timmy had many similar incidents with his teachers. Each time he was caught and punished, he only learned new ways to hide what he was up to. It became a game for him; the absence of punishment became its own reward.

As a 10 year old, Timmy came home from school smelling kind of funny. Mom suspected and found the worst of her fears in her backpack: a floppy bag full of drugs.

Timmy would eventually move out at the age of 17. Where he ended up, mom wouldn't be able to find out -- he was off the grid to her after moving to Portland. One thing, she knew for sure -- he had a knife with him. And drugs.

Adham Nu'man
Jesus Christ poor Timmy what have I done

John Holmes Motherfucker
Hey, AdHam Neu'man, check out my Halloween video, I was thinking of you when I was putting it together!

http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=162879

chumbucket
2017 described in 4 seconds.
Anaxagoras
*****

Yes.

dairyqueenlatifah
:)
garcet71283
2017's "GO! BWAA" video.
Marlon Brawndo
I like the almost casual voice in the background asking why he has a knife.
Jimmy Labatt
Raising a child, in four seconds
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