our hero only frequents convenience stores with plenty of floor padding.

My claim to fame: I sold Cuban cigars to Steven Seagal.

This was way after this film, when he was fat and washed up.

Just about every Seagal movie I saw as a kid had some other kid with me explaining how Steven was some spec ops trained navy seal in real life and learned a lot of his martial arts from some master of an ancient Himalayan sect and that's why you don't see his kind of moves by anyone else (in the movies).

I believed all of it.