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Desc:These are much older than I had assumed.
Category:Educational
Tags:miracle whip, SPLORT SPLORT, Kraft Pasteurized Processed Cheese Food Product
Submitted:cognitivedissonance
Date:02/10/18
Views:605
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Comment count is 23
Rangoon
SPLORT SPLORT, indeed. SPLORT SPLORT, indeed.
Shanghai Tippytap
this is dog shit. i cant imagine marshmallows and miracle whip tasting good. better drown out the flavor with another glob of miracle whip
memedumpster
That is so unbelievably gross sounding.
cognitivedissonance
The sauce made from boiled Red Hots is what gets me.

Robin Kestrel
It was the only war to get cinnamon at the time, because of the war.

tesla_weapon
It's like someone was on way too much acid and mushies, then smoked like a whole bag of weed and got hungry and then filmed or notated making this shit. Seriously, what the fuck?

Maybe they were pregnant as well.

Meerkat
Good Lord.
Xenocide
If "Yankee Ham" isn't the name of a sex act yet, then we have failed as a culture.

SAMPLE SENTENCE: "I want to Yankee Ham the guy who narrated this commercial. His voice is smooth like the best vegetable oils."
BHWW
This is exactly the sort of commercial MST3K made fun of with their Klack Foods segment.

"You know, holiday season is the perfect time to enjoy Klack’s Industrial Saladoos-based snacks and snippets, any time of the day or year.

Start the morning with a Technicolor yawn by serving up piles of flabby Klack leather pancakes, dotted with Dicey Cocoa Stumps. Kids can’t resist the texture of Klack’s Creamy Clotted Palm Spread squeezed out on Horsey Biscuits. And don’t forget the Sir Cheddar Snack-a-Lots! And top them with Chimi Hats for a Western roundup and safe snacking. And moms - don’t forget to serve the clabber club platters of Salamander Fingerwiches, Creamy Crust Puppies, and hey - try a load of Taco Mince Meat Relish Parfait served up in a tulip glass for that touch of elegance."
Xenocide
No one, but no one, can do a fake announcer bit quite like Kevin Murphy as Servo.

The new Servo is pretty great but doesn't quite hit that same "Housewives prefer Spam" sweet spot.

teethsalad
i remember being subjected to the very tail end of this sort of thing as kid in a generic midwestern state before america went full foodie

so many disgusting casseroles
Cena_mark
Did you eat a lot of baloney sandwiches made on Wonder Bread?

Xenocide
Your screen name works really well for this topic.

teethsalad
lutheran potlucks attended by people who mostly came of age during the depression were generally gastronomic wastelands

TheyUsedDarkForces
I appreciate how they took the broiled ham out of the oven just as the cheese reached its least appealing consistency: not quite solid, not quite melted. I'm a little disappointed though, because I was expecting that hot cocoa to be some manner of Miracle Whip beverage.

It's as if this meal was designed in a research kitchen to disgust me.

And I generally like a ham steak. And hot chocolate with marshmallows... and...
Oh, fuck it, load me up with some of those horrifying apples, I'll probably like those, too.
SolRo
I wonder if it was from a time where they hadn’t gotten the melting property of the “cheese” right yet

betabox
Cheese? Oh Please! Pasturized process cheese food product is the correct term.

Cena_mark
Back then people liked the word processed. It showed progress in post war America. Now it's a turn off.
Crab Mentality
This is an important aspect in American food culture- we've had several big time incidents.

Both world wars gave way to rationing, but after WWII, we kept the canned and instant stuff, but also got into tropical fruits. This led way to Banana Republics and all those disgusting recipes and casseroles involving bananas.

A much more recent one I brought up to my friend is that "Trading Places" hinges entirely on the frozen orange juice market.

SolRo
Has miracle whip changed flavors in the decades since? I can’t imagine eating that apple thing with sort-of-mayonnaise flavor
betabox
Actually, there are quite a few fruit salads and dressings for fruit or Jell-o that are mayonnaise or Miracle Whip based. I'm not saying it's a good thing, but MW and fruit or sweet stuff isn't (wasn't?) all that unusual.

boner
I think everyone just smoked so much they couldn’t taste anything.
chumbucket
Basically everything we eat now has gone through some level of "food processing".
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