When I was a drunk, one of my favorite things was a fried egg sammich with barbecue sauce and miracle whip.

Alcoholism does more than kill the body, kids.

I just twenty minutes ago made a Monte Cristo with strawberry jam just flopped on top like bright red vomit. I can't judge.

I like the vid's implication that the MW wont stick to the bread, myself

There's only one off-white fluid that I use as a condiment on my hamburgers.


That's right, Heinz Salad Cream. Which is totally not almost exactly the same thing as mayonnaise. It's fancy and British. (Same ingredients as mayo, if we're being honest, but it's a little more fluid.)

When ye have finished with your childish games, you may face the final-boss of mayaonise-likes... Remoulade

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Remoulade

Iceland is super expensive so when I went on holidays there I bought food in their version of Aldi to keep me going, including sandwhich making components. I bought something that looked like mayonaise but turned out to be remoulade.. shit was tight.. true story.