Scrimmjob The coolest thing you'll ever buy, for the sole purpose of digging a hole to take a shit into.
Born in the RSR No matter how you style that logo, "United Cutlery" will never be cool, not even tacticool.
Sputum I don't like the direction they are taking the Blue Man Group
Chicken the Did After viewing some of the more 'unfortunate' videos on the internet I can safely assume melee weapons have no practical use in modern warfare. But hey, it makes a cool shovel and you can even fry and egg on it!
Gmork This seems more about threatening a neighbor than warfare.