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Desc:Cody Johnston roasts the Tuck like a pig on a spit. Plus: Stormy Daniels!
Category:News & Politics
Tags:Tucker Carlson, Cody Johnston
Submitted:John Holmes Motherfucker
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Comment count is 25
John Holmes Motherfucker - 2018-03-28
Now that Cody is not on Cracked any more (though he.may be on crack) , maybe he'll get the respect he deserves around here. It may just be something to do with the mysterious and all-powerful YouTube algorithm responding to my choices, but I'm seeing some great content on YouTube lately that's all about meticulously taking apart the dumb narratives that have been shifting all over reality even more than usual lately, mostly from the right, but not exclusively by any means. John Oliver, HBomberGuy and Cody aren't 100 per funny, 100 per cent of the time, but I don't care. Like most immigrants being nice, its not always the point.
Old_Zircon - 2018-03-28
I don't disagree with the substance of anything he's saying but good god is he unfunny.

This is exactly what Kindler was warning us about.
John Holmes Motherfucker - 2018-03-28
That may be a matter of personal taste. Just between you, me, and the entire internet, we're a year and change into the Trump era, and I find Colbert to be pretty unfunny most of the time. But he's still worth watching. In authoritarian times, satire isn't always going to be.funny, and it doesn't always matter. People watch Colbert so they can hear the President zinged, and can be reminded that we.still live in America, and, for that matter, on planet Earth. That's important. Seriously, it comes.right after.food.and oxygen.

I think Cody can he pretty funny, but just because I'm such a pedantic bastard, I.want to reiterate that it not only doesn't matter if he's funny, it doesn't really matter if you agree. I mean, there needs no ghost from the grave to tell us that Tucker Carlson is a.piece of shit, right? But what we have here is.something way more.solid than a ghost. Cody, or someone who works with him, found all of Carlson's insufficiently documented sources, and laid out what they really said, and how they stack up against other sources. This trend of YouTube commentators actually doing their homework (and I pray that it really is a.trend) is immensely heartening after the rise of those awful commentators, we all know.who they are, grinding out (mostly) right wing and antifeminist screeds, posting shit every day, off the top of their heads.

A few weeks ago, I was listening to HBomberGuy, and my YouTube autoplay took me to the channel of someone I'd never heard of before, a Brit who goes by the name of Shaun. The first thing I heard was a long discussion of some horrible Stefan Molyneux YouTube essayYouTube essay about how.liberalism led to the fall of Rome. Now, I'll be honest, to get me to sit through Stefan Molyneux video about the Goddamn FALL OF ROME you'd probably have to take hostages. But I was impressed at his use of sources. Even if most of it was.about as funny as a term paper. And then I heard videos about some more familiar subjects, e.g. Thunderf00t, Sargon, and the.amazing atheist. It's all so.meticulous, as if things like accurate quotes, respect for sources, and.reality really mattered!

exy - 2018-03-28
I think he's pretty funny. Of course it's not a very inspired funny, but it's a pretty good parody of the really uninspired "funny" he's responding to. But even if he's only only funny some of the time, these are some pretty well-structured rebuttals. But I'm not very mature, so maybe I just enjoyed watching him call Carlson names enough to forgive the rest.

Accidie - 2018-03-28
Thank you! This was so fucking unfunny i almost cried- then i remembered i could turn it off.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2018-03-28
"Thank you! This was so fucking unfunny i almost cried- then i remembered i could turn it off."

For the future, I'd like to invite you to explore your option to not tell us about how you didn't watch the video. Not that it isn't an interesting story.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2018-03-29
I think some of the people in here are such hip ironic hipster ironistas that they can't buy the emotions of exasperation and frustration that are being acted out. Without the suspension of disbelief, Cody's performance must seem like a bunch of disconnected twitches and ticks.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. It's not my problem if you don't enjoy what I enjoy, but I don't see why it has to be ANYBODY'S problem. A lot of the videos on POE TV don't interest me., and I don't watch them. That's it. I'm not going to tell you about why I don't want to watch them, because I can't imagine why you could possibly give a fuck.

Maybe you just enjoy complaining about things that you don't enjoy, and how they continue to exist. If that's your idea of entertainment, well that's totally fine. Disregard everything I've said, and carry on as usual, mazeltov!

You People Are Idiots - 2018-03-29
or its because ur old as fuck and your taste in shit is considered boring?
it must be the kids who are wrong.

Marlon Brawndo - 2018-03-29
I always wondered why this guy was even on Cracked. Daniel O'Brien is a really funny guy and most other people on that channel are funny but this guy always falls flat to me. I mean it's one thing if you're a pundit but he's trying to come across as funny.

He should just stick to trying to be a pundit and leave out the additional bits. Just play it straight. Comedy doesn't work for him. It just comes off as whiny and grating.

Also, I would like to point out that Trump accepted the DACA deal and said he would sign on board if the Democrats would sign on to build part of the wall and the refused him. They literally turned down a deal where Trump was willing to give amnesty to all DACA members plus about 100K Hispanic people. Washington isn't a swamp, it's a fucking sewer full of people trying to convince me they give a shit. None of them do, but at least the GOP isn't trying to convince me they do. Dems in power just love to pat themselves on the fucking back for the crumbs they try and feed people. Fuck them all.

exy - 2018-03-29
All they had to do to get Trump to abandon his doomed anti-DACA crusade was to agree to a giant boondoggle of a wall? What ASSHOLES for not agreeing to that deal!

Pretty sure they anticipate an endgame where DACA survives and the wall does not. If they'd started budging on allowing perhaps the most ludicrous of Trump's off-the-cuff bullshit promises, that would have been far more horrifying.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2018-03-29
>>>or its because ur old as fuck and your taste in shit is considered boring?
it must be the kids who are wrong.

About something being funny? I don't understand how anyone can actually be "wrong" about that.

Anyway, I will say this yet again. I don't think it matters if this is funny or not. I certainly wouldn't submit it because I think its funny. I know better. I already knew that I'd be getting the usual hilarious comments from Jerricurl Levitra and Cayenne Nosehair.

I think its an unusually comprehensive examination of the false narrative that is currently the official truth of our government. I wish that we could be having that conversation.

And face it, YPAI, the problem with my taste isn't that its crazy or marginal; its that, at least in this case, its mainstream. This site is actually popular. I remember what it was like to hate things because large numbers of people like them. You outgrow the affectation.

dairyqueenlatifah - 2018-03-28
I can't decide who I hate more.
exy - 2018-03-28
yourself, perhaps?

dairyqueenlatifah - 2018-03-28
Nah, I'm not a cuck.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2018-03-29
For me, it's pretty clear. I don't hate Cody Johnston at all. I hate myself a little. I hate Dairy Queen Latifah a little more than that... and I hate Tucker Carlson's guts. Tucker Carlson is waaaay out in front.

Gmork - 2018-03-29
unironically using the word cuck


Caminante Nocturno - 2018-03-29
Soy boys getting angry at the word cuck.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2018-03-30
Nah. That would be like getting mad at Corky for being retarded.

Caminante Nocturno - 2018-03-28
Wow, the lady from the half-hour news hour got real hairy and her jokes are even worse.
John Holmes Motherfucker - 2018-03-28
Wow, Caminante Nocturno didn't change anything at all. He's exactly the same. For about fourteen years now.

There's a good chance that I've got this wrong, but the way I remember it is that the first time I encountered Cam was in Poe-news in 2004, in a posting about Mozilla Firefox while it was still fairly new. It was on the home page, and it had been up long before I'd ever arrived at Poe. The thread had been started so that Firefox users could identify themselves. Well, I used Firefox, so I posted in the thread. I mentioned that, because I used Linux, I couldn't get internet explorer.

Someone immediately got up into my grill about that, calling me out for smugly bragging about my preference for.open source software. Was that. person none other than a younger version our Cinnomonte Nosferatu? I suspect that it was, but all I feel certain about was that he was somewhere in the thread, and that he impressed me as sort of a dick. "That guy's a dick" would be reocurring theme in our future encounters, right up to the present day.

Whoever confronted me wasn't wrong. I was all about the Linux in those.days. But it was a.thread about people proclaiming their preference for Firefox. Everyone in the thread was boasting about using open source, so it seemed misplaced.

That was.one of my earliest experiences in POE, back when I had my original username, George W. Butch. I'd love to go back and see how much that was like the way I remember it, maybe through the wayback machine. But I'm sure that I'd find so much embarrassing stuff from those early..days, when I was extremely awkward and generally loathed. I'm not going to say that abuse I recwived was 100 per cent deserved, but neither was it zero per cent deserved.

Over the years, we've had our moments. Was it you, Cam, who said that for the crime of giving birth to me, you would like to cut out my mother's uterus with.a rusty sword, and replace it with a full, rotting colostomy bag? Either way, I think you should take credit for that one, because it was fucking brilliant. I don't think I did it justice just now.

Remember that I love you just the way you are. Shine on, you crazy diamond! Let your dick flag fly! (Or maybe it should be "Let your dick fly flag"?)

Caminante Nocturno - 2018-03-28
I'm not reading any of that shit.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2018-03-28
You do you.

Monkey Napoleon - 2018-03-29
I would suggest people not give cracked the views, and get their political humor from a company that hasn't sold their soul bandwagon jumping on the social justice buzzfeed clickbait train. Someone with biting political commentary you enjoy who actually cares whether or not they're just making shit up to exploit the fashion trend of what internet progressive hot button items are generating traffic this week.

Last year:

Jack O'Brien quit
Soren Bowie quit
Michael Swaim quit
Dan O'Brien was laid off
Cody Johnston was laid off
The entire video team was laid off, and video production was shut down.

The public reasoning the guys who quit gave was "we're going to work on other projects", but Michael Swaim told a very different story during a let's play stream he did on his personal youtube account. The guys who made this shit even hate it, and they hated making it so much that they quit.
John Holmes Motherfucker - 2018-03-29
>>>I would suggest people not give cracked the views, and get their political humor from a company that hasn't sold their soul bandwagon jumping on the social justice buzzfeed clickbait train. Someone with biting political commentary you enjoy who actually cares whether or not they're just making shit up to exploit the fashion trend of what internet progressive hot button items are generating traffic this week.

Now, who can argue with that?

I think we're all indebted to Monkey Napoleon Johnson for clearly stating what needed to be said. I'm particularly happy that these lovely children were here today to hear that speech. Not only is it authentic POE gibberish, it expresses a courage little seen in this day and age.

Seriously, dude, what are you trying to say? they sold their souls for social justice? Do you mean literally? What exactly did they make up?

But here's the thing about Cracked. I used to see content from Cracked that I thought was good, and lately, not so much, and you may have just explained why.


Cracked put about 75 variations on this old guy doing "honest" ads , and when you've seen one, you've seen them all.

tethercat - 2018-03-30
For what it's worth, I like it.


Don't much care what you others think. I laugh.
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