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I hope there's some enterprising Mormon doing this with made up Mormon names, like Tamblyn-Maree and Chesserston.
Imagine how much more effective this kind of video would be if Santa berated and chastised a kid for being bad.
It's like the writers were pedophiles trying to disguise their secrets. Secrets they told only to Santa!
"Santa, your pole is a total disappointment. I was expecting something WAY bigger!"
"I don't tell those secrets, but I bet you'd like to know a few, wouldn't you!"