Apparently the earliest records of Jesus depict him as very small and ugly.

You know who eat hot dogs? Nacy Pelosi!!!

let's see... a little finding and replacing... sorry it's not perfect.

If you don't believe that God has REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or He will chop your head off!!! It's an easy choice, if you ask me.

God is sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys is totally awesome and that's a fact. God is fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait to start yoga next year. I love God with all of my body (including my pee pee).


Q and A:.

Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about God?
A: God is the ultimate paradox. On the one hand He don't give a crap, but on the other hand, God is very cisful and precise.


Q: I heard that God is always cruel or mean. What's His problem?
A: Whoever told you that is a total liar. Just like other mammals, God can be mean OR totally awesome.

Q: What do God do when He're not cutting off heads or flipping out?

A: Most of His free time is spent flying, but sometime He stab. (Ask Mark if you don't believe me.)