5 stars for teutonic knights throwing babies into a bonfire.

Featuring the smooth musical stylings of Sergei Prokofiev. I'm a fan.

Featuring such highlites as: Armour from the Kremlin museum, floating greathelms during the ice breakup scene, thousands of red army extras and the most accurate depiction of the medieval battle field in film (none of that breaking up into easy pairs to fight it out). Horray for the internets!

The final battle scene is still unsurpassed.

Yer darn teuton!

Pick up baby, one-two. Pivot, one-two. Drop baby, repeat.

Five stars easy.

Imagine how good "Porky's II" would have been with Eisenstein.

Also, "Pretty in Pink" is clearly a remake of "Alexander Nevsky": pay attention to the romantic subplot and tell me that's not Jon Cryer and Andrew McCarthy competing for Molly Ringwald's love. Um, I guess the Germans are the Richies.