Pearls of wisdom, indeed

Pweal Cweam, made from the blood of virgins.

Reminder: that's more like $40 when you adjust for inflation.

Oriental mafia is gonna go after her for giving up ancient secret.

All I know about Oriental women is that they're never seen drinking cappuccinos in Italian restaurants with roly-poly fish heads.

Yeah.

Is Nancy a white lady with her eyes taped? Something's really off about her face.

When I was a kid a 20 something year old Asian man who worked with my dad tried to convince me he was actually in his 60s and that he only looked so young because he used Pearl Cream. I believed it and it freaked me out.