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Binro the Heretic - 2019-10-04


The original Monkees may have been a manufactured band, but they were presented as long-time friends who had been playing together for years. And the actors had the skill to make the chemistry work.

The New Monkees let you know right up front they were four rando actors thrown together. And they had neither the writing nor inclination to act like they were a group. It was four assholes, each out to upstage the others.


The original Monkees were unconventional. It was still the 1960s and the younger generation was challenging the status quo. Not everyone "got" them.

The New Monkees were a product created for the broadest possible appeal.

TeenerTot - 2019-10-04

Dunked in distilled 80s juice.

Marlon Brawndo - 2019-10-05

Evil executive in a suit smoking a cigar? Check.

Mulleted men in their early 20s pretending to be teenagers? Check.

Guido accents instead of British, even though that makes no sense? Double check!

Watching the original Monkees on a color TV? Gotta have that in there sometime so people know this is the Monkees we are talkin about.

A...submarine...in an...abandoned factory of some kind? For some reason, because it would have made a good music video idea and at this point anything is being used in lieu of a plot? Check!

Trenchcoats? Check. Terrible lyrics we bought off of someone's aspiring secretary/songwriter? Check.

"When you're out with the guys, you're one of the boys." Yes, I...would assume that.

This predated the boy band movement in an oddly prescient way. A nightmarish taste of what was to come.

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