This guy's family must be protected at all costs. He's one tragic, unhinging death of a loved one away from becoming a supervillain. And we have no way of stopping him.
His relentless hatred for our values is unfathomable.
This is a man who sees life as toilet tissue and finds his fists to be infant smashing devices.
This man is legend.
Tom Dickson is actually building a giant blender in the mantle underneath North America as we speak.
"rappers refer to diamonds as ice, so i'm going to push the 'ice-crush' button." brilliant!
He's been exposed to forms of dust that have never existed before and yet he lives. Next he'll be blending uranium 235 and other nuclear isotopes in his twisted laboratory of dust cocktails and death. The blentec blender must be considered a carnal force in our universe.
Another snapshot of insanity. One day he will run out of inanimate objects to blend, and then, knowing no other way, move onto small living creatures.
It will start with insects, this being the most acceptable thing to kill, but he will become bored of this very quickly. Rodents will give way to small reptiles, which will give way to cats and dogs "rescued" from animal shelters.
Until the one day when its just not enough, and he makes the leap to the most unblendable of all desires: Man.
"Will bullets blend," he'll ask the cops as they try to bring him down. The blender will whirl, crack and make unholy sounds all while he laughs maniacally. "Yes," he'll crow triumphantly, "It blends!"
The next step is to fill a BlendTec blender with Blendtec Blender blades....the resulting paradox will create a shell of non-existence, and Tom Dickerson's impish smirk will vanish forever.
Who wants smoothies?
Alright, I'll buy one! Though they did puss out on the crowbar.
|Grace Mugabe |
If on your journey, you should encounter God, God will blend.
I'm beginning to think that even the "invincible" human spirit will blend.
Let us all be grateful that he doesn't have a bigger blender.
|j lzrd / swift idiot |
TOM DICKSON, PERIOD.
I want to believe that yes, he does write all his own material, and Blendtec executives are so cowed by their unspoken fear and terror of what might happen if they take their blenders away from Mr. Dickson, they let him keep his meticulously dust-free white labcoat and try to act as politely as they can around him; he is the platonic ideal of the guy everyone who works white-collar knows is a pre-snap office/workplace gunman waiting to happen.
Except everyone he works with doesn't want to be a victim of the world's first serial blending rampage.
|Tuan Jim |
diamonds would blend. They're hard but they can fracture. Smashing several hundred together at high speed and you'd get a load of dust pretty quick.
5 for Dickson
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