bopeton
"Buy some today!!" "I WILL!"
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Rodents of Unusual Size 
Anything you say, angry coked up nightmarish muppet dragon.
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Spastic Avenger
This is perfect. An intentionally funny advert.
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Daughters of Uzbek
Ever notice how you can make kids want anything if you show some wanton destruction?
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StanleyPain
It's an early 60s progenitor of "SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM!"
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Jeriko-1
I'M JUST GOING TO DESTROY YOUR FUCKING STORE.
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Caminante Nocturno
"One more thing."
"What's that?"
"TRY LA CHOY NOODLES! SMASH!"
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Squeamish
He just wanders suburban America, bringing fear and fire to grocers of all stripes.
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