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Desc:Push the gas pedal all the way down.
Category:Humor
Tags:NASCAR, The Onion, go fast
Submitted:C. Eloi Marx
Date:07/31/07
Views:5636
Rating:
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Hooper_X
IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE NASCAR IS TOTALLY EASY TO DO!!!!!

i'd like to see that motherfucker try it for real.
dancingshadow
I'd say rally racing (or any other kind of car racing) has a few more variables for the driver to consider.

Hooper_X
I would argue that certain aspects of NASCAR, like restrictor plate racing, are as complex as anything found on a road course, mainly due to the fact that you've got 15-20 cars inches apart all doing 180mph. Based entirely on my own limited viewing experience, passing and drafting plays a bigger part in nascar than in some other motorsports.

dancingshadow
The're actually ovals.
Pandatronic
Way to take an obvious, predictable joke and string it out for three minutes, knowing that people's contempt for Nascar will override the lack of actual humor.
fluffy
The onion is even worse in video than they are in print. At least in print you can skim for the one or two slight chuckles.
Camonk
Why do people keep giving these idiots money?
yeahjim
It's soft sell humor, boys. Expand your horizons.
Ursa_minor
Compared to rally, this is almost realistic.
FeilecanOiche
The Onion doesn't seem to realize that there are people who actually do that. They're called spotters. Real spotter-driver chat is funnier than this, and it's usually not that funny unless they're working blue.

Herr Matthias
So...the Onion takes the same joke everybody in the world comes up with when they first hear about auto racing and stretch it to three minutes.

You should have known the Onion was going downhill when CNN.com started linking to them.

+1 because I hate NASCAR.
C. Eloi Marx
When I saw this I thought the joke was more about how most people (especially Nascar fans) don't have the faintest idea about the techniques involved in driving at the limit of a car's potential. Generally because Nascar fans are not really motorsport fans.
Hooper_X
You thought wrong! It's basically GO FAST TURN LEFT DON'T CRASH which is such an obvious joke that nascar fans themselves make it.

Herr Matthias
I always wondered myself why NASCAR fans generally don't take much of an interest in F-1, etc. Maybe because DAMN FURRINERS, I guess.

Hooper_X
I think it's less DAMN FURRINER and more LOCAL BOYS DONE REAL GOOD, personally. Up until the last five-ten years, NASCAR drivers were notably close to the fans.

EvilHomer
Philistines.
NineEleven
Anyone who enjoys Nascar is already dead. They're still taking up precious resources somehow.
jrr
Anyone who still likes The Onion needs to rent "The Aristocrats" and watch their segment. The "writers" are the most outrageously stereotypical pasty-white left-wing pretentious urbanite snobby assholes you could possibly imagine.

Seriously, those motherfuckers needs to meet Mr. Sun.
EvilHomer
And that's why we love 'em.

bopeton
Pasty-white left-wing pretentious urbanite snobby assholes for the win. (urbanite > suburbanite)

Eroticus E
Their pasty bodies make a striking contrast with yours, you bronze rippling Adonis. Meet any cripples on the internet lately, stud?

Grace Mugabe
That makes me want to watch The Aristocrats just to see if they're as bad as I've always imagined.

Xenocide
DAMN YOU, SUCCESSFUL COLLEGE GRADUATES FROM MADISON! WHERE DO YOU GET OFF BEING WHITE? DESTROY ALL POPULAR THINGS!

I was going to give this two stars (+1 for "is this straight enough?") but here's a five for the haters.

theSnake
Fuck The Onion for killing Herbert Kornfeld. FUCK YOU ONION, NOT FUNNY ANYMORE.
Daughters of Uzbek
Those stupid rocket scientists, all they need to do is set off a big explosion to launch the shuttle. Toothless NASA hillbillies.
Rodents of Unusual Size
Talladega Nights was better than this. That is not saying much.
Grace Mugabe
The only funny thing on the Onion is the personal ads.
plank
I think the humor was lost on a lot of people. The Onion lampoons everything, they're not actually calling out NASCAR as a bunch of hillbilly left-turners.
Caminante Nocturno
Well, I guess we can see the who NASCAR fans are around here. Isn't rating this taking time away from ordering plates with dead drivers on them?

Ha, ha, ha.
Big Beef Burritos Supreme
+1 for the headset commentary. Otherwise, totally obvious.
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