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Desc:"Mah laff draym is to drop outta school, bay on Girls Gone Wahld, and have a baybeh!"
Category:Classic TV Clips, Horror
Tags:maury, adolescent, ho-bag
Submitted:Stopheles
Date:08/05/07
Views:32961
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Comment count is 33
Bebido
I have imagined, Maury. I have imagined.
jihadbaby
This is like, a super-dupe.

Still, 4 stars because I'm deeply infatuated with this kid. Something about the hopeless, brave fight against reality she insists on carrying out, combined with her classy eloquence, makes this one sexy lady.
Frank Rizzo
the 7 minute version?

someone needs to post up the slowed down version

Afgh
Frank Rizzo, are you completely sure that you're not retarded?

http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=16796

Frank Rizzo
positve, thank you for posting it!

magical man
WhatEVA! I do what I want!
StanleyPain
Can't entirely downrate it as a dupe since it's the full length clip, but yeah, the "MY BABY" thing goes a bit back. newcomers should be sure to click the Maury tag for the "my baby in slo-mo" clip which still cracks me up to this day.
Quad9Damage
Stopheles should just edit the title to indicate that it's the 'long version'.

EvilHomer
I'm sorry, but even the sad piano music can't keep me from laughing.

"I told her to get up!"

I think the guy was getting up enough for the both of them.
Quad9Damage
This version cuts off the 'preview' for the next segment, where teenage girls in juvenile hall yell at her and make her cry.


Xenocide
The search for this segment will now begin.

Quad9Damage
I don't know if the whole post-commercial segment is available on Youtube. All I saw was a teaser. It showed some female inmates taunting and bullying Teen Wannabe Baby Factory. I'm sure after that she came back a CHANGED PERSON, etc. etc.

So it ends the same way every 'Troubled Teen' Maury episode does.

phalsebob
Why do bad things happen to good wiggers?
WHY GOD, WHY??!!
Zarathustra00
While I was watching this clip the Ace of Base song All That She Wants started to play on my itunes. I laughed so hard that I cried.
Xenocide
In your room! IN YOUR ROOM!

Yeah, don't like, get family counseling or anything. Go on Maury. That'll fix things.
Mayberry Pancakes
What exactly is it like to be in Maury's audience?
Rodents of Unusual Size
The ultimate episode of any talk show. Profusive swearing and the checklist of public places makes this a cut above the rest. Or below, I'm not sure.
Frank Rizzo
THEY DID NOT COME BACK RIGHT AFTER TIHS WTF!?
Hooper_X
I'd hit it.
doc duodenum
Not one. Not two. But tha-ree different times.
doc duodenum
I was counting the number of clips I've seen of this.

Michael Houser
"My 15-year-old daughter's had sex 300 times, but by then, who's counting?!? Huzzah!!!"
"Heyooooooooo!"
Let's see if this can be reposted at least as many times as she's had sex. What would really be cool is a follow-up ... how old is this clip now? (I'm not watching it again to find out.)
John Holmes Motherfucker
There was a follow up, if I recall, and it's appropriately fucked up how it worked out. Victoria went through Maury's program where you learn how difficult it is to be a teenage mother, decided that she no longer wanted to have a baby, starting getting along with her mom... and THEN she got pregnant!

Pandatronic
Mama is a big-lipped hunchback, Vicky talks like a mongoloid, and Maury has an impenetrable air of empathetic indifference when he talks.

This is great.
Repomancer
Having brains is not one of her problems.
Caminante Nocturno
There was a moment some time ago when I suspected that she was faking it, but then I realized that she was too loud and inarticulate to be acting.

And her mother still looks like Robert K. durant from Darkman. That might actually be the source of this family's problems.
Erix
Why oh why have people stopped sending their awful children to military school?
Menudo con queso
Does "Lynndie England" ring a bell?

Stopheles
Only to let the waiter know when the tuna melt is ready to head to the table.

Camonk
Man, this girl is an emotional cripple who swears like a sailor in public at complete strangers and has completely insane ideas about sex. I tell you, if she also drinks too much, she's pretty much my ideal woman.
Menudo con queso
Man, Maury's staff went to the best schools in the country for what? To produce and coach fake dialogue segments with attention-desperate rednecks?
Spastic Avenger
She must be sterile if she's had unprotected sex 300 times and not conceived ONCE. Either that or chlamidiya ridden.
JRoy1969
You throw up enough shots you're bound to hit something!
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