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Desc:Oxymoron: example of
Category:Educational, Religious
Tags:Christian, terrible, David Ferrell
Submitted:Severian
Date:08/17/07
Views:6702
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Comment count is 40
Aubrey McFate
I guarantee this set ends just like this: "But seriously folks, the Lord has the power and you must open your heart to him tonight etc etc."

Also, drive-thru intercom joke? Honestly? Jesus.
Operation Cornflakes
Not only a drive-thru intercom joke, but with a fucking PROP for a drive through intercom joke.

Pandatronic
If it weren't for the tag, you wouldn't even know he was a faith-based performer. Still, 5 stars for horrible.

GoodAaron
A mediocre b-joke transformed until a full two-minute standup routine? Yes, please!
GoodAaron
*until=into

Xenocide
So this was a commercial for people who might want to hire him? That means this snippit we saw was his BEST MATERIAL.
coprolalia
You could hire him for you and a few friends and just stare at him through the whole act. That could be worth the money.

Also, he has to segue into the joke with that "USA is the most" shit. Does he think they're all still shrieking in terror at eclipses in Europe and banging rocks together in Japan or what?
Xenocide
He's gotta play to the crowd. Note also: the "people making minimum wage are morons and it's their fault the burger speakers don't work" attitude. He knows his audiance.

dueserpenti
This man is obviously well-traveled.

boner
At least the black guy from Police Academy can do this joke without the megaphone.
glenn
would you still laugh if you knew he sold his soul in exchange for that talent?

kingofthenothing
Actually, yes, I would laugh if Michael Winslow sold his soul to get the sound effects talent.

I just can't imagine the guy waiting at a crossroads night after night doing sound effects and making his pleas to the devil until one night some shadowy figure makes him an offer he can't refuse, and finding out simultaneously in one moment that he CAN make any sound he wants, but it wasn't worth the cost. As the Devil departs he would be left with the grim knowledge of what awaits him and like the jumper from the bridge he realizes he never wanted this, he could have done something different, his life could have gone another way, he could have given himself a chance, but now it's too late.

That's true comedy.

Testicles of Doom
Sacred Feces! That was awful.

What's worse, is people were LAUGHING.
Smellvin
Maybe the "Jesus juice" was responsible for the laughter.

Adramelech
The audience laughing was painful. Yes folks, there are still entire states filled with people who think this is just a hoot and a pickle.
tamago
Horrible. And save for maybe a couple of times, I've never had any problem understanding people through drive-thru speakers. And the "Price check at the dollar store" joke" is just pathetic and old.
Cap'n Profan!ty
Hyuck! Hyuck! The accent is the funniest thing about this tired old dog of a bit.
Billy Buttsex
Uhhhh... I don't get it. So you guys are making fun of him because he's a Christian who did an unfunny bit? Shame on you guys. What a bunch of nazis you are.
Rudy
DUUUUDE!!! Charlie Brown's teacher SO sound like that! WHAW WHAH WHAH WHAH WHAH! CLASSIC!!!
sloth love crunk
A good christian comedian would do a piece where he jokes about his idea for a buddy cop movie featuring an uptight middle aged black darwinist and an edgy caucasion creationist.
StanleyPain
yeah I remember when drive-thru speakers were hard to understand too....BACK IN 1982.
It's kind of comforting that this kind of epic-level bad stand-up still exists somewhere in the world. I'm sure somewhere there's a brick wall with a microphone in front of it and guys still telling jokes about lousy airline food is or how hard it is to understand that one guy at the gas station because of his accent.
kthorjensen
Hamburger, cheeseburger, fries and a coke.
Spoonybard
He couldn't decide whether he wanted cheese or not, so he got both.

baleen

Nightmare.
x
Pat Robertson and CBN have found their answer to David Letterman.
oogaBooga
5 stars for someone else pointing out how unfunny letterman is

teethsalad
I LOVE JOKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
futurebot
FUCK YOU WORKING CLASS
manfred
Proletariat=Commies=Atheists

Rodents of Unusual Size
oh my God. He just stole a bit from Carrot Top, word for word, with the megaphone bit. CARROT TOP.
Knaaks
I knew I had heard that exact same joke before, but I couldn't remember where from!

Quad9Damage
Jeff Foxworthy did it too.

Camonk
That was hilarious. Put this guy on the retooled Half Hour News Hour when it comes back.
FABIO2
In-law jokes? Cab drivers? Airline food? New York vs LA? How different your life is now that you're a parent?

THE SKY IS THE LIMIT, MR COMEDIAN!


p.s. I knew a "comedian" who was this awful. He gave me his business card that read "Actor, comedian, bricklayer". All his material was just as bad.
Vicious
You assumed "bricklayer" was a joke?

elm axo
paying out dudes working minimum wage. doesn't seem very christian to me

Quad9Damage
Come on guys, it's "Positively Funny"! It says it right there at the beginning!

I wonder if this guy was on that "Southern Christian Comedians" DVD that Comedy Central advertised for several months?
Chalkdust
He bought FIVE of those things?
themilkshark
I wonder if he ever lost it and pulled a Michael Richards... Imagine him spouting the N word through his little prop megaphone.
crayondisaster
Did anyone else notice that his megaphone seems to be set to the British accent setting when he's trying to undermine the drive-thru workers, because I'm sure they don't get enough shit about the system that they had no part in creating or implementing. The British accent will show those bastards.
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