garcet71283 
0.1875
Can I have his job?
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baleen
I failed math throughout middle school and high school, pissing off my counselor so much that she arranged to pass me on math if I concentrated on all the arty stuff I liked, which I did, and I got A's.
Straight F's for 5 years in math, and I fuggered it out. I did it with my stupid brain.
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baleen
I meant converting inches to feet... not 3 divided by 16. I didn't get that far. Jesus christ.
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yeahjim
Square ruht!
This is what POETV is all about.
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Herr Matthias
It's mildly ironic that he has the same name as a very famous theoretical physicist.
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joyofdiscord
My god. "For accuracy's sake"!! "Pulling numbers out of the air"! It's basic math!
Also looved the way he tried to cloak himself in some sort of self-righteous refusal to perform unsafe arithmetic. As if it wouldn't even matter if the math was for legal testimony or not, he can't in good conscience do math without the proper equipment. What if he accidentally multiplied the square root by pie and started a fire?
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Xenocide
Oh, snap. Props to the questioner for refusing to let up on this idiot.
Kinetic energy!
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Aelric
opened a whole new world of youtube video's for me. this is what court tv should really be about.
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Meatsack Jones
I want my formula sheets...to drink my milk!
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Ersatz
This man is supposed to be an expert in accident reconstruction, but he has NO IDEA of what exactly he is doing. He is worse than a trained monkey. This is the equivalent of taking the deposition of a spreadsheet.
I have, in fact, made spreadsheets smarter than this guy, and not even for work. I have a quarterback rating spreadsheet that will extrapolate performance to see if a perfect rating is possible or even plausible.
Those who can, do. Those who can't even understand what the hell it is they should be doing, give expert testimony.
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fourthguy
Is "accident-reconstructionist" even a real job?
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anvill
Watch the whole thing, then re-watch the first few seconds. The expert witness's little self-satisfied head wobble astounds me.
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x
This guy couldn't dig a ditch without his formula sheets.
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ShmuzzlePuzzle
This guy is the biggest retard I have ever seen. He's such a dumb fuck. Just imagine what it was like sitting next to him in math class. His teachers must have killed themselves.
His formula sheets are pages ripped out of a grade 2 math text book.
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boba.
i watched this twice, the thing that makes this awesome is that he TRIES to do it on the calculator and fails (knowing the inputs and correct answer) before going into "I need my formulas and computer" thing
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joyofdiscord What really gets me is that for all his talk of ABSOLUTE ACCURACY and EXACTNESS and how he MUST NEVER MAKE A MISTAKE, he came in with an incorrect figure to start with. 68 =/= 63.75
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Namor That's exactly why the lawyer was grilling him in the first place. I thought that much was obvious. I think the asshole realized he had made a simple error as soon as he was handed the calculator and the rest was just him trying to not admit to having made a mathematical error in front of the judge and his client.
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kingarthur
No, but I can tell you that I plead the fizzifth.
You're not on trial, sir.
Then I need my formula sheets.
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Maxville
I almost had myself convinced that maybe he wasn't willing to do it in order to avoid liability.
And then his brain fell out.
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athodyd
Can anyone sound more scornful and astonished than a lawyer with a mild country accent?
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RockBolt
My engineering brain is leaking from my ears
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Xiphias
missouri reprazent!
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Frank Rizzo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2r5X-2_IGc
???????????????????????????????
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dancingshadow
Unable to post comment: Missing formula sheets.
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Camonk
Rarely have I wanted to punch a self-satisfied douchebag in his stupid sac so much.
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Camonk PS: I love Deposition Week!
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hornung
yesterday somebody at work asked me what 8 divided by 9 was.
i told them 8/9ths. they told me i was jerk, so i said, it's point 8 repeating.
he then used a calculator and said "hey that's cool, how'd you know that?"
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spacker dave
This makes my blood boil.
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Kumquatxop
this is even more amazing than the verizon thing
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Namor
"Wouldn't the formula be 3 3/16" x 20 = X?"
I almost died. Soooooo humiliting.
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snothouse
The Ricky Gervias of depostions.
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Rodents of Unusual Size
I can see this math teachers showing this in class as a joke. Or a warning. Either way, they should distribute this in schools.
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Rodents of Unusual Size
this being a totally necessary word me english wonderfull wheee
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magical man
FOR ACCURACY'S SAKE
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Repomancer
He makes more money than any of us.
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spork865
I CAN'T BELIEVE I WATCHED THE WHOLE THING
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Lauritz Melchior
This is gold.
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The Lord of Dirt
The best part is, the only real error he made was that for an "approximately 68 ft distance", the line should have been 3 3/8 inches instead of 3 3/16. The rest of the calculation he got from his "formula sheets" were probably correct. If he knew math, he could have recognized and corrected the mistake without damaging the rest of his testimony.
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kwash
Look at his face towards the end.
This has been the worst 9 minutes of his life.
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Naugaskins
This man shows the failure of Western mathmatical education.
Student: "Can we use our notes on the final?"
Teacher: "Fine, just this once."
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