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Desc:An entire generation beat this game before 1st grade, but fattie declares it near-impossible.
Category:Video Games, Horror
Tags:NES, Mario, Fat kid, Turtlelicous, part two kind of sucks
Submitted:Xenocide
Date:08/24/07
Views:8184
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Comment count is 67
Hooper_X
Hahhaahahha this reminds me of that fat whiny kid on the playground. I guarantee this dude smells like some sort of pork product Also, has a fucking broken NES.

Also, they are goddamn pussies.
Princess v2.1
Kids today are such fucking pussies. We need to bring back arcades for the element of potential physical violence.

...and is it just me or do boys from the south sound like women?
Comrade Admiral
HAMMER-HUSTLING TURTLE BASTARDS
Smellvin
Kids these days have no video-game ethic.
theSnake
Kids these days with their save points and fucking faggoty HIT POINTS. In my day when an enemy hit you once you had to start over from the beginning. It built character. It taught you about failure. It made us men.
YakooMarkTwo
I was just about to type Turtle Hammer-Hustling Bastards, but I see someone beat me to it. That didn't stop me, obviously. Otherwise, not that funny.
GingersHaveNoSouls
Wedgies were invented just for bloated sacks like him.
cognitivedissonance
the HARDEST ga-AYM i ever played.

OH MUH GOD
Operation Cornflakes
"If you purchased this game in a little used bin at Gamestop or something..."

Fuck you, fatboy. This game came with my brand fucking new Nintendo Entertainment System that I got for Christmas in 1987. That means I've been playing this game longer than your fat miserable existence.
Quad9Damage
Agreeing with the sentiment here. These kids have no idea what a real video game is like. They're so used to walking straight to the end.

Also I looked as his Youtube profile for a second:

Books: plz. is that a joke
Corman's Inferno
Gods of FUCK
Stopheles
I wonder if he'd be able to break the NES cartridge with a Wiffle Ball bat in his friend's backyard while screaming about how FUCKING GAY GODDAMNIT AND FOR GURLS the game is...

What a little tub of failure.
oswaldtheluckyrabbit
HARD AS HAYELL
joyofdiscord
Right? He obviously didn't hold B to be ready to run, which is kind of odd considering he has no problem with trying to run full-speed through the rest of the level, getting him killed by pretty much every lame easy monster and pit in the whole board.

Sure, if you try to haul ass through the castle because you have infinite lives and hence no consequences, of course it's going to take you a million tries and seem impossible.

Benzene265
You know it's bad when you have to resist yelling advice at the screen. Why didn't he just run under the hammer-hustling turtle bastard?
joyofdiscord
^^^that comment should have been here

sosage
Are the colors fucked up because he blew his bacon breath into the cart slot to try and make it work? Heaven forbid this lame ass generation of gamers play something half-assed challenging.
Xiphias
It took me forever to get past world 8 too, you know. Don't act like it was easy.
Quad9Damage
No, it wasn't easy. Games back then expected more out of you.

Embarrassing secret: I didn't actually beat "Super Mario Bros" until I was almost 18. But that was due to lack of caring.

Xenocide
It was hard, but I don't recall whining about it. Games were SUPPOSED to be hard, you felt let down if they weren't. The feeling of triumph you get when you breeze through a level that once destroyed you is something that's increasingly rare these days.

meowmers
two words: Bionic Commando
theSnake
Lets have a good old fashioned game of "Internet One-upsmanship."

Legendary Wings

sosage
Battletoads

You'll never beat it. Just like you'll never beat me at this "I'm the bigger internet game nerd" competition.

Adramelech
Bayou Billy

Xenocide
Adventures of Lolo.

biclops
I made it to the last boss in Battletoads twice. Fucking Battletoads.

revdrew
I think I made it past the racing level twice. I can't imagine how much autism it would take to make it to the final boss.

StanleyPain
FUCKING RYGAR, end of story...
The game was, like, half the size of Zelda or some shit and had no passwords or saving. If you lost your LIFE (singular), game over.

Princess v2.1
Double Dragon 3

thebaronsdoctor
Battletoads. I WIN!

Xenocide
Wizards and Warriors 3.

Huge (for its time) RPG style game with all sorts of skills to gain, multiple job classes for your character, a large world to explore...

AND NO SAVE SYSTEM OF ANY KIND. Not even a continue.

EvilHomer
Bart vs the Space Mutants: hard AND shitty, a lethal combination. Battletoads was pretty bad, too.

coprolalia
Simon's Quest, in one sitting, without continues.


Rafiki
Simon's Quest? Seriously? I could run that whole game in less than 45 minutes when I was a kid.

I was also a GOD at Bionic Commando.

And the correct answer is: Ninja Gaiden. Any of them.

Hooker
Also, NARC and it's literally impossible to beat end boss would fuck you guys in the pussies.

athodyd
We didn't have a Nintendo but one time I had to fight my dad when he got drunk and got his knife out. Is battletoads hard like that?

tamago
I recall everyone talking about how Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was impossible to beat. Though other than the underwater level, I had no problem.

EvilHomer
I think we all gave up on that underwater level. It got easier after that, but fuck if I was gonna bother to keep playing- quit while you're ahead.

FABIO2
Battletoads goes without saying.


Ninja Gaiden (the last level)

Legacy of the Wizard

Ninja Turtles

Bayou Billy (FUCKING driving levels)

Simon's Castle

Zelda or Metroid without a guide telling you exactly which rocks to blow up.

voodoo_pork
Hardest NES Games Ever

Mega Man 1
Bayou Billy
Renegade
Double Dragon 1
Ghosts and Goblins
Silver Surfer
And...
The original Ninja Gaiden.

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH

Big Name Celebrity
Jesus fucking CHRIST Silver Surfer. I made it to Mephisto ONCE.

Adramelech
I think I just had the gamer equivalent of when a middle-aged guy hears a kid call Led Zeppelin "the oldies". I really didn't realize how spoiled this generation is.
Namor
Never did beat that game, found it frustrating, overly hard, and unrewarding. I had the good grace not to whine about it though.
anotherdeadhero
I fucking hate this kid, him and his shitty vids. Quit making shitty videos and attend school.
gambol
This kid just crossed my wires. Green Hulk rage. GREEN HULK RAGE.
DrVital
He is completely unaware that GOOGLE NOW OWNS YOUTUBE.
doc duodenum
I didn't beat this game either, but I think it had to do with the theme song. I just couldn't stand it anymore.
Jimmy Labatt
I love this
thebaronsdoctor
So...Who wants to tell him about the second quest after you beat world eight?
Caminante Nocturno
Your fatness makes you say and do crazy things, kid.
Hooker
Fatty needs to fall in a pork grinder, but seriously. The reason the game is hard for him is because it's so badly dated that there's no excitement in playing it. Mario was the bee's Goddamn knees and cutting the Goddamn edge back when we all played it, just as Duck Tails, Bionic Commando, and that horrible TMNT game we all played (the first one). I mean, I played the shit out of Little Nemo trying to beat that, and that game was fucking unfair hard.

Games aren't easier now by and large. They're just more engaging. I don't know how many times I had to do that fucking RC plane mission in San Andreas.
Adramelech
Yeah, but when you failed a mission in San Andreas three times, you didn't have to restart the entire game from the beginning. There's more to difficulty than just the skill required to accomplish a single task. Games today are filled with saves and checkpoints and generally offer no real penalty for dying (AKA sucking at the game). They're made to be beatable by anyone from 6 to 60. Games back in the day existed solely to kick your ass and dare you to play them again.

I would also dispute your claims that modern games are more exciting or engaging, but my beard is growing dangerously large.

Hooker
It varies. Super Mario Bros. 3 is still a lot more engaging than, say, Crackdown, but I think on the whole, with the higher production values and vastly improved technology, the average is more engaging games. And man, Super Mario Brothers has just not stood the test of time.

And I guess you guys are right. Games were much more punishing back then with their no save points and limited chances to get it right. But when I found NESticle in the late 90s, I never wanted to play Mega Man without horrible 16-digit codes ever again.

Hooker
I also did not want to play it WITH horrible 16-digit codes ever again, either. My life is confusing.

Xenocide
Plus, if you suck at the missions in San Andreas, you can run around doing all sorts of shit that keeps you occupied for hours without ever touching the main quest. In Mario, if you suck, there's nothing else to do. You either save the Princess or you die.

I disagree that Mario hasn't stood the test of time. Legend of Zelda is maybe the only game from that era that has aged better.

revragu
I disagree that modern games are more engaging. It's more difficult to get into the right state of mind, yes, because there's no longer any novelty to the presentation and mechanics. However, using the original SMB as an example, it's a rock-solid game with fun mechanics and design, and I don't think the human brain has changed enough in the past twenty-odd years that it's impossible to be captivated by, it's just less novel.
As far as the San Andreas comparison is concerned, yes there's less to do in SMB if you suck, but there's no single part of San Andreas that is as solidly, perfectly designed as the whole of SMB. San Andreas, an excellent game, is a lot of uneven to downright sloppy parts coming together to create an enjoyable whole. There's merit to both.

This kid needs to be introduced to that shitty ROMhack masquerading as a sequel that is The Lost Levels. Kid would probably give himself a massive coronary on the first fortress level.

Chet
I like how he says, "Hard as hell".
Rodents of Unusual Size
I don't play video games, but I don't think she was trying very hard.
FABIO2
Eh, annoying, shitty quality, and not very interesting.


Honestly though, the original was the hardest of the three.
j lzrd / swift idiot
This kid obviously doesn't know about the trick near the end of World 3 where you can hop on a turtle-shell for eternity and get a billion one-ups. That's how me and my friends beat that shit in the 80s.

God, it's like a trio of awful flavors: Fat, Texan, and young.
glasseye
Holy shit, their accents make them sound like retards.
Quad9Damage
"This video has been removed by the user."

Aww, poor kid. He couldn't handle the world's take on his awful gaming skills.
Princess v2.1
OK, who downloaded this? SHARE
RandomFerret
Please, somebody reup! After reading the comments, I MUST SEE THIS.
Quad9Damage
Unfortunately, I think the video was exclusive to the kid's profile (which he appears to have deleted completely- his parents must've caught onto the concept of future employers). Unless somebody downloaded a local copy for themselves, the clip is gone forever.


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