In a best case scenario, this would have finished out a week in the Hopper with a "+2" rating.

I'm feeling generous with 2 stars. Very generous!

one star for each ascending testicle

1 star for each meme in this video. Throw in some kittens, Lisa Needs Braces in chinese, and have the video end with a pus explosion from a cyst to the tune of "Gettin' Lucky" from the Chipmuks Movie and maybe I'll 5-star it.