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Desc:Jesus ambushes the substitute teacher.
Category:Religious, Educational
Tags:Evolution, Christian, creationism, jesus is a jerk, spent the teacher-hirin money on football
Submitted:dead_cat
Date:09/30/07
Views:5599
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Mike Tyson?!
Damn, Jesus made an air-tight case.
Roachbud
Jesus looks more like Thor than himself
theSnake
Jesus be showin up at shit these days and defendin shit.
halon


Everything needs a first cause except for this vague notion I've devised! Take that, science!
Hugo Gorilla
And I bet he's just auditing the class anyway.
Rodents of Unusual Size
Hahahaha, silly scientist! Evolution is a fairy tale!

And science doesn't believe in the Big Bang anymore so much as expansion theory. Dolts.
coprolalia
Jesus as a smug, white prick with hockey hair and nothing better to do than argue for creationism one class at a time. Staggering.

Needs this as a companion: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQPHHJwBbs0
B. Weed
He sure looks like Jeezus from that "The Pain" comic, doesn't he?

Senator_Unger
Did the religious guy just slam the scientist because *science* changed? Apparently Christians are even against the evolution of scientific concepts.
fluffy
Not to mention that the world being flat and the number of computers needed worldwide were not statements of science. (And people didn't actually believe the world was flat 600 years ago.)

Also, science didn't change, the scientific understanding of the world changed. The modern scientific method has been entirely UNCHANGED since the 1600s, and before that even the ancient Egyptians made use of scientific principles in doing medical diagnosis (according to wikipedia, anyway).

Rodents of Unusual Size
Yeah, my biggest problem with people like this attacking science is their understanding of science is flawed. Science doesn't "change its mind constantly" and that is something that religiously dogmatic people use as a defense. It's unbelievably aggravating.

IrishWhiskey
These "scientists" change their minds all the time! You should stick with us. We still hold onto beliefs and values from a time when slavery was legal, religious wars were rampant, medicine involved leeches, and the sun went round the earth!

boner
Man's physical needs? As if Jesus knows anything about that
DrVital
You can't build a bridge out of faith.

And the ascetic baptist Christians of 100 years ago would be horrified by the money centered church of today.
Stopheles
By '100' you mean '2000', right?

cognitivedissonance
Hush, filthy Unitarian.

Stopheles
I would tell you not to slander my faith, but since I'm a Unitarian I must accept that perhaps your expression of faith comes in the form of casting aspersions at me.

yeahjim
Not as funny as Jack Chick, but still gets my knickers in a twist.
Xenocide
Dude, you used to be the savior of all mankind. Now look at you. You just go around being a dick to science teachers all day. You're the biggest has-been since Screech.
Brautwurst_Barbarian
Aryan Jesus shows that damn Child of Ham whose boss.
Scynne
As a creationist, even I find this funny.
jesustweak
I wonder if some chickens sit around the barnyard and laugh at the stupid ones.

elm axo
we sleep so we don't end up looking like you you creepy longhair
Stopheles
"600 years ago, people thought the world was flat. And we'd like to return to that level of ignorance!"

Also: the history of instability in the Middle East has nothing to do with religion? BUH?
Smellvin
Did you know that since science can't answer every possible question, then "Jesus did it!" instantly becomes the correct answer?
TrafficCone
People will tell themselves anything just to keep the fear of death out of their minds.
SolRo
So jesus would take time to argue with a professor in a private lecture instead of, oh I don't know, stopping some innocent people from being murdered or something?

Fuck you jesus!
sliggy
5 stars for "spent the teacher-hirin money on football".
Kingofthehobos
Where was jesus when I had to take discrete math???
bongoprophet
it's like that thetruthforyouth thing, only with moving pictures!
sosage
5 stars just for the smug "check mate science" look that chick has for saying "what caused it?". Here's hoping some of these stars fall out of the sky and slap that fucking look off of her face.
Adramelech
I'm pretty sure this is hilarious no matter what form of faith, philosophy or belief system you subscribe to.
kingarthur
Scientists. Don't. Understand. Why. We. Sleep.
Jimmy Labatt
I think I saw Jesus in a porno movie once
bang to buck ratio
How much extra credit can you get for bringing Jesus to class?
ihounokyaku
Wow, Jesus! You're right!! Some wars weren't caused by religion!!!
glenn
I like that pacifism was the one part of Scripture he was willing to hedge on.

Jeriko-1
Jesus doesn't care about black people!
phalsebob
So.... as long as we can't figure shit out it's 'Jesus done it'?

And why, Jesus, why do these snappy little videos never tackle M Theory? It's always shit like "Science can't explain yawns or why fish swim upstream!"
John Holmes Motherfucker
For that matter, why don't they ever tackle evolution? The science is not disputed here; it is not discussed.

The creationist believes their trump card to be morality. Every argument against evolution that doesn't use outright lies ("Man is the only creature with a frontal lobe." ) ends with the same argument that this video ends with: Evolution is bad morality. The implications of evolutionary theory mean that there is no right or wrong.

Well, that's bullshit anyway. Lots of people believe in evolution, and still believe in right and wrong. But what about intellectual integrity? Isn't that a moral value? Once you've decided that it's a good idea to base your scientific beliefs on what is "right", and not on the evidence, you've taken a step toward wholesale dishonesty. You can make global warming or the holocaust cease to exist. You can see incontrovertable proof of weapons of mass destruction. It all begins with the idea that coming to the right conclusion, and not the evidence, is what counts.
Mad Struggle
I only wish there was a 'SHAZZAM' every time he turned into Jesus.
phalsebob
If I was Billy Dee Williams I wouldn't be arguing red herrings with some smug beardo, I'd be banging those college girls.

Just thought I'd add that.
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