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Desc:Sometimes you just don't want to get out of bed before blasting someone.
Category:Advertisements, Crime
Tags:Shotgun, bed, backup, gun rack, USA!
Submitted:Colonel Cowlung
Date:10/23/07
Views:9275
Rating:
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Comment count is 53
citrusmirakel
I'm really sad they invented this, and here's why...

I, like many other criminals I know, enjoy sneaking into the houses of people. When I do this, obviously, I want to get to the bedroom, since that's where you find jewelry and the like - so I head up to the bedroom, fling open the door, and shout "I AM A ROBBER!!!!" as loud as I possibly can, before then laughing at the house's occupants for not having a firearm in easy enough access. Then, as I loot, I continue to mock them for not having an accessible weapon, as I take heirlooms given to them by their parents.

It all was working out so great for me, until they invented "The Back Up". Now my entire livlihood is down the drain, and now I just have to wait for all these people to die of accidental firearms deaths, and then rob the houses afterwards, which isn't nearly as fun.
zatojones
I'm guessing you live in a place that doesn't hear the words "home invasion" very often on the local news.

coprolalia
You could always break in while they're gone, steal the gun, and come back and blast them later while they're out doing yard work.

athodyd
I'm guessing you live in kind of a shitty town, zato.

dr_rock
Yeah zato lives in Philly... zato also has cool guns, which is why he and his family are safe.

Blaise
Yes,

I have guns but not cool ones.
They are not at my bedside.
My boring guns are locked up.
That is why me and my family are unsafe.

Camonk
You fags are arguing about robberies and home invasions and all that, but you're missing the most obvious use of this thing: hunting. All those deer that just wander through your bedroom aren't going to shoot and mount themselves. But with the backup, they might as well!

America is so much more awesome than other countries with tinier penises.

Ponasty
You laugh but when i was in college a deep jumped into a first floor dorm room window as two freshmen were sleeping. 2 young men + one panic stricken deer + one small concrete block dorm room = hilarious if nto a little painful for the guys in the room. They WISH they had a BackUp.

Ponasty
deep = deer

Pandatronic
Just a heads-up, this video is already in the hopper with +7 votes. Chet, you know what to do.
Angel Carver
Boo.

I'm the one who put it in the Hopper.

Oh well, +5 stars.

jihadbaby
"Many customers are buying one for each side of the bed!"

AWWWWWWWWW! That's so romantic!
kingarthur
I'm picturing a lot of people waking up to fatal shotgun wounds here. And what if the kids like to run screaming into your room on Saturday morning to watch cartoons? what if your little tiny toy dog uses the damn thing as a step ladder to get up on the bed? What if you roll over and your foot hangs off the side? What if you're having vigorous sex? (Insert Kevin Smith joke here)

kingarthur
Also, what if you have a cat? Good God, what if you have a cat? How could a feline possibly resist the temptation to "accidentally" set the gun off?

takewithfood
What they won't figure out is how the cat managed to aim it through the window, at the neighbour's dog.

boner
This doesn't go far enough! That sumbitch should be spring-loaded so the shotgun leaps right up into your arms! Like a lap dog!
Caminante Nocturno
What will you do when they come in through the floor? When that happens, they'll get to your guns before you do!
juiceboxtheeverliving
like Howie Mandel in Little Monsters. He steals your gun and pisses in your apple juice.

Menudo con queso
I'm thinking the gun industry is the mirror twin of the porn industry -- huge markup on cheap-to-produce toys for repressed boys.
zatojones
If guns and porn are only for "repressed boys" then every man ever born is a repressed boy. I won't argue they aren't, but I call bullshit on any argument you give that you aren't one too.

Menudo con queso
Looks like I touched a nerve there.

zatojones
No nerve touched. I'm just curious if you're willing to say that you don't like looking at porn or never thought the idea of shooting a gun seemed cool.

Mole Wax
Shooting guns? That's cool, in a retarded, rednecked, Ahnold sort of way.

Keeping a loaded gun at the side of my bed so that the DEA will have an excuse to kill me when they get the address wrong on a search warrant? That's less cool.

Cheese
It's the smartest money you will spend in your life.

The sad thing is, for the folks that buy this, that may very well be true.
eatenmyeyes
Then they go to buy a gun and are forty dollars shy.

Xenocide
Yeah, this makes it almost inevitable that your kid is going to find your shotgun and accidentally blow the neighbor boy's head off. But when the police come for you and try to arrest you in your bedroom, won't they be in for a surprise!
PlushJake
They should have shown a reenactment. Burglar: "Gimme all your money!" Granny: "Put your nuts on the ground, Fucko!"
cognitivedissonance
Nothing sums up Middle America more than a gun rack for your bed, which you are probably trapped in because of obesity. All it needs is a special NASCAR edition with Richard Petty's signature on it.
Afgh
I thought guns had to be locked up, or is that not the case in the US?
Hooper_X
Oh, you poor dumb son of a bitch. Americans have the right to have guns wherever, whenever - unless you live in some kinda goddamn dhimmicrat freedom hater state.

In that case, you can just get a concealed carry permit from Utah and FUCK THE MAN!

ihounokyaku
It's through products like this that Darwinian evolution will work its magic on the human species, making us much smarter in the future than we are today.
ihounokyaku
Either that or bulletproof. Which, now that I think about it, would be pretty cool too.

rastarat
Think "Kevlar Bed Spread"
theFlu
Man, being Canadian, I feel like such a humongous pussy, living next door to the most Xtreme nation on earth. We just have locks on our houses.
Xiphias
My dad has a home-made version of this. TRUE STORY.
fluffy
Each star represents an additional unit of lack-of-surprise.

yourmother
I would use this, if not for the automated turret defenses I've already set up at the foot of my bed.
Ahriman the Creepy Lurker
Oh man, all I've got is an in-bed knife sheath. I DONE BEEN ONE-UPPED.
Blaise
Yes,

I have guns but not cool ones.
They are not at my bedside.
My boring guns are locked up.
That is why me and my family are unsafe.
Maxville
I've always bugged my girlfriend about the bedskirt (AKA dustruffle) she insists on having. I was always like "What the fuck do we need a bedskirt (AKA dustruffle) for anyway?"

Now I know.
Randroid
Comments here allow for an excellent representative sample of the American psyche.
B_Ko
Apparently it's the smartest money i'll ever spend in my lifetime.
a flaming monkey
Your kids would find that shit in 5 seconds flat.
I love the American constitution.
FABIO2
You know, if you're THAT paranoid that you think you'll need to blow away burglars in your bedroom, wouldn't a simple pistol under the pillow be better?

"With your new shotgun bed rack, all you have to do when a murderer is about to attack you is wake up out of a dead sleep, fumble with the sheets, fall out of bed, untangle the gun from the sheets, and blow him away!"
fermun
Like any piece of equipment, you need practice before you are truly comfortable and proficient with it. So after getting your BackUp, you need to have friends and family members startle you out of a dead sleep until you feel comfortable pulling that shotgun out in the blink of an eye.

FABIO2
Youtube comments:

"Sean Taylor could have used one of these."



OUCH!
SharoKham
The beginning of the ad, I swore I thought they were putting the damned thing on a big white coffin, and it sounds like the announcer is saying that gun accesability is also specifically mandated in the 2nd amendment.
whensaidthemoon
This would've been great in the opening act of Time Bandits.
LazarusOfEarth
Fantastic and unreal.
joelkazoo
"You know, if you're THAT paranoid that you think you'll need to blow away burglars in your bedroom, wouldn't a simple pistol under the pillow be better?"

I was thinking the same thing! That's what my uncle does (even has "cop killer" bullets in it!).

kingofthenothing
Yeah, because, you know, what could possibly go wrong? Someone gets up and has a midnight snack and their spouse freaks out from a dead sleep, pulls a shotgun on them, and blows them away. Now her husband's dead AND she's got a hell of a mess to clean.

Then they have to get Billy Blanks to sell them Miracle Brain Remover, the all-in-one handy dandy spray that makes gray matter go away.
kingofthenothing
I meant Billy Mays. I don't know what the hell I was thinking, but whatever, he's dead now, which is weird.

"How many times has this happened to you?" BOOM! "Oh no! That stain will never come up!"

dead_cat
What happens if you're like me, an extremely active sleeper? "OOPS! I shot the dog, and in my sleep no less! That's what you get for sleeping at the foot of my bed, doggy!"
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