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Desc:Goronchev can get chicks but not on Myspace.
Category:Educational
Tags:Myspace, goronchev, male pattern baldness, axe body spray
Submitted:Enjoy
Date:10/25/07
Views:4903
Rating:
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Comment count is 51
Repomancer
All the abs in the world don't help when you're BALD AS HELL
Hooker
Aww, fuck. Really?

Innocent Bystander
Yeah, because women are mostly interested in men on the basis of their hair.

Why doesn't he just shave his head and be done with it?

Rodents of Unusual Size
I think he's rather dashing, myself. Too bad he's got a repellent and clueless personality. I have news for you. When girls back down at the last minute, it ain't the hair.

Princess v2.1
WRONG. Most women look at the complete package. However, bald heads usually go terribly with babyfaces... and just because you're ripped doesn't mean you have a nice body.

Also, this smurf has never met an actual tough guy.

NoCode
Like hell - balding guys are super cute. However, no cuteness factors can undo this guy's repulsive self-love. No shocker that he couldn't find any poon if he was asking like this.

Maggot Brain
It doesn't help that he's a misogynistic ass hole with a overinflated ego and mash potato abs.
William Burns
That's the kind of physique only no exercise and tons of steroids will get you. Good job, now you look like you're made of legos that are made of pork.
Frank Rizzo
man, to go so bald so young truly fucking sucks the cock of cocks.
Frank Rizzo
Bibbity-bobbity-bacon

fluffy
One of my best friends started going bald when he was like 17. For him it's worked out pretty well. But he's also personable and nice and people actually like him, and meanwhile this made it really easy for him to get alcohol because nobody cards the 17-year-old who looks 35.

StanleyPain
He has a 21st century Travis Bickle thing going on...it's kind of creepy how there's nothing on the walls in any of his videos.


boner
I get the feeling there is a bare 60 watt bulb hanging from the ceiling.

a flaming monkey
Hmmm, loath as I am to comment on his physical appearance, he really does have a gigantic head. Look closely at the proportions.
If he works out his head, then he has achieved GREAT SUCCESS in its mighty bigness.
a flaming monkey
Wait!!! People!!!! You have to watch this response to Goronchev: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCvhXUDq4DI

I'm not putting it in the hopper because I can't be fucked. Enjoy.

Innocent Bystander
Ok, I seriously don't know. Is that video a joke?

a flaming monkey
Please God, I hope not (?)

futurebot
1 star because Enjoy stole this from a flaming monkey. BOOOO

Enjoy
Dude. I didn't know if he had front-page rights. All props go to flaming monkey!!

jihadbaby
Man, that video response just broke my mind.

baleen

I have had sex with several people on myspace and I am fat.
jihadbaby
I had sex with several bouncers on myspace.

baleen

was one of them me? you would know because my cock would punch a hole in your ass at 4000psi and you would fly into the drywall like a Georgetown preppy in a smackdown with me (a bouncer).

jihadbaby
Ah, the sweet memories... :)

Doctor Arcane
Waiiiiiiiit.. You can have sex with people on myspace? I've got to go update my profile.

Also does he ever say how much he can lift or what not? I find it odd he makes such a big deal out of how ripped he is and I havent how much he can squat/deadlift/bench yet.

Also, he's going to climb up a tower real soon with a rifle. You watch.


Midnight Man
"experiment"
Steebis
Toward the end of this I'm pretty sure i saw a cluster of date raped souls push their faces against his abdominal wall.
Angel Carver
It's that Lynchian, industrial, soul-sucking sound playing at low volume throughout this video that elevates it to the level of A-R-T.
Xiphias
They call that an "air conditioner."

Roachbud
still want to beat his ass
futurebot
Hopefully he'll try to get into a club where you're working using a fake ID, and then you'll be able to kick his ass since you're a bouncer.

Roachbud
Unfortunately I only work the door when the regular guy needs to piss or chit chat with the DJ

Billy Buttsex
WHAT?! Dude... myspace should change it's name to MyAss because of all the ass you can get from it. I mean, unless you're fugly and retarded, you can score like, every weekend.

This is this guy's strategy:
"Hey cutie. Hit me back."
TeenerTot
GUH! I say to all the self-righteous internet pontificators.
Watch your own video and maybe you'll get a clue why you can't get laid.
Also: He kinda reminds me of the muscle-bound child that was on Ripley's all those years ago.
Scrotum H. Vainglorious
I wonder, when he self destructs, if he'll take himself or twenty other people with him. Sort of like the VT shooter.
theFlu
he's like a living M.U.S.C.L.E Man
x
Prostitutes don't count as conquests.
NoCode
Where did Goronchev get the idea that women choose whom to fuck based on looks?
TheQuakeSoldier
How dare you question his personality when he "looks like this". Because come on, he "looks like this".

Afgh
THIS VIDEO IS PRETTY GOOD BUT I WISH IT WAS LONGER
Keefu
Is the goron part of goronchev a Zelda reference?

How goddamn fitting
a flaming monkey
I think it's Russian for "I have several chips on my shoulder".

phalsebob
Of course this is real. This is the new Consumer Reports section on where to get fucked on the internet. MySpace got a black and white circle, same as PoeN.
yoyo1
I think too much bodybuilding(possibly with steroid use) could be responsible for juvenile baldness, I see a lot of bald bodybuilders .
nonplusplus
It's not the bodybuilding, it's the steroids.

Chalkdust
baldybuilders?

gambol
What's happening
nonplusplus
"In real life I can get a ten to fuck me. And this has happened MULTIPLE times."
Jeff Fries
This gives me nothing but Arrested Development flashbacks. George Michael's muscle suit crossed with Uncle Buster's hair and Ron Howard's voice.
alarmcall
"90% of the girls on that say they are bi are really guys" ?
I was totally expecting another conclusion.

mashedtater
Can someone get him a cup of shirt?
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