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Desc:Hi-larious story in which he describes a common problem for him.
Category:Humor
Tags:gay, goronchev, oral tradition of storytelling
Submitted:Rodents of Unusual Size
Date:10/26/07
Views:2894
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Comment count is 35
Dinky Patterson
Smooth.
Princess v2.1
So punchable
Angel Carver
Unforgettable story, beautifully told.
Scrotum H. Vainglorious
"I go into a Hollywood Video store with this muscle shirt on . . . I don't mean a video store in Hollywood, I mean the chain"


No shit, Einstein.
Hooker
It's funny listening to him talk without watching the video itself. You'd never know he was a repressed and not terribly bright young man that would call high school the worst period of his life.

I love this retarded little faggot so much.
tenten
So...is he saying "yeah" the way they said "meow" in Super Troopers?
Dr Dim
The time he ended up with jizz all over his face doesn't make such a good story.
Maggot Brain
Everybody knows someone like this in real life. Unfourntly, they don't have a web cam and mash potato abs.
bang to buck ratio
I think that's VERY fournt, actually.

K Clobber
I don't know this term 'mash potato abs'. If you are referring to his asymmetrical rib cage, I pity the poor boy. I think we have plenty to criticize him for without going there.

Innocent Bystander
His videos just ain't the same with his shirt on. TAKE IT OFF! I wanna see me some o' that vanilla...
a flaming monkey
The only people who tell these kinds of stories are closeters in denial. This is his ultimate fantasy; a big, gay black film buff chasing him around. I'm so glad he has shared it with the world, hopeful eyes sparkling away.
Harveyjames
GAY

Check out the Freudian slip at -1:19.

K Clobber
That's not true. I used to work at Hollywood Video, and it's the gayest video store around. I was a youngster, and got hit on by dudes a lot. It is just that awkward, and just that funny to someone who has never been through it and doesn't know to expect it, and it takes a long time to learn to deal with it gracefully. Almost any response causes one to be called either a homophobe or a closeteer. Running and hiding sometimes seems like the most viable option.

His delivery and so many other things about him are what make him obviously a closeteer in denial.

HURF BLURF DUH
seems to me like, if you got hit by a dude, you could just say "uh, no thanks" and that would be plenty graceful enough, and you wouldn't come off as either closeted or a homophobe. But hey what do I know.

K Clobber
I'm not talking about coming off a certain way, I'm talking about being accused openly and aggressively while at work of being that way for saying something like, "thanks, not my thing", or "I have a girlfriend." Wallingford Hollywood Video, Seattle. Maybe it's a local thing. It is a festive district.

Having someone, anyone at all find me attractive is a heartening thing. I never complained much about that. But the possible (after a while, probable) negative reaction following my refusal always made me uncomfortable.

a flaming monkey
Well, Hollywood Video can be the most ragingly, aggressive, gay store in the world for all I care, I still only believe two things about Goronchev's story:
1: He went to a video store.
2: He wore a muscle shirt.
The rest is pure gay fantasy of the highest order.

uekibachi
who are these gays? i wouldn't fuck him with a stolen dick.
Billy Buttsex
5 stars for the black guy impression.

"OOOH OOH I SMELL ME SOME VANILLA!"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOH LAWD!!!
GoneGirl
I love his dick - uh, directorial style.
Midnight Man
"Gay guys hit on me all the time.... and I still have not been able to deal with it any better than running and hiding."
lolcoolj
Isn't Asperger's fun?
TeenerTot
Yeah....those muscle shirts really impress us ladies. Nothing's more attractive than getting a glimpse of a guys armpit.
Xiphias
muscle shirts are specifically for gay men


also his impersonation of the black dude
Repomancer
Co-opting our muscle shirts, Xiph?
This is Goronchev's combover at its finest.

Rudy
Only 3 stars cause the story didn't end with him getting raped.
Enjoy
Fun Facts About Goronchev:

* 26 years old
* Lives at home with his parents
* Short, balding, high voice -- symptoms of Hypothyroidism
* Stickam profile confirms his closet gayness (loves Peter Sellers yet constantly says he is "straighter than a laser.")

Roachbud
In three years he will be taking up the ass from a guy named Chip
Ersatz
Why do all these homosexuals keep sucking my cock?
Spoonybard
I didn't know who this guy was, and mistakenly assumed this would somehow turn into an amusing story. Specifically, I assumed that the furthest corner in the back of the video store, where the gay man would follow him to, would turn out to be full of gay porn.
Hooker
SURPRISE! It was only full of shame.

Rodents of Unusual Size
It's funny in context when you see other videos that have been submitted concerning his...activities.

klingerbgoode
gay.
B_Ko
That's it? That's how it ends? It's like The Lady and the Tiger, but autistic.
joelkazoo
I initially read the title as "Gorbachev".
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