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Desc:ALL IN-GAME RENDERING for the whiny people
Category:Video Games, Trailers
Tags:XBox 360, ps3, PC, assassins creed, ubisoft
Submitted:Xiphias
Date:11/05/07
Views:2293
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Comment count is 39
Hooker
Wow. This doesn't look nearly as good as the other trailer. They making this for the Wii as well?

Hooker
kekekekekeke

Lindner
... I'm sold.
Pandatronic
ASSASSIN'S CREED

Not pictured: actual assassination gameplay
Xiphias
PANDATRONIC DO YOU WANT ME TO POST THE GAMEPLAY VIDEO WHERE THE LADY TALKS FOR 5 MINUTES

Pandatronic
YES BECAUSE JADE RAYMOND IS SOOOO HOT I WANT TO MAKE HER MY WAIFU~

Pandatronic
Seriously, no.

Caminante Nocturno
So, is this supposed to be the next Prince of Persia?
StanleyPain
I thought this game was supposed to be at least mildly in the spirit of Thief or something, but I guess once again developers got scared a game might not have blood and violence in it and OMG COMBAT!!!!
OldScratch
Sigh. Are there any games that weren't developed by angry fifteen year old boys who dream of living in a grey-brown world and drawing blood? Did anyone ever consider building upon Lonnie Flickinger's genius 'Pencil Whipped', or that old Mac game 'Zero Population Growth', and do something that wasn't inspired by the art from a shitty science fiction or sword and sorcery novel? Will we forever be trapped in a world of digitised Dungeons & Dragons, crates, sewers, castles and caverns? We could do so much more with the technology at our disposal! I'll extend two stars because a crowd of hard working nerds poured their souls into this pile of wank, but the video game industry is now as big as cinema. We need some real artists to step in. Please.
Hooker
I'd settle just for some new and/or good gameplay.

Repomancer
No, no, and yes.

but hey, it looks good.

Jeff Fries
Hey wat other sites you read

Adramelech
I know man, seriously. I'm so fucking sick of all these open-ended assassination games set in ancienct Jerusalem. You can't go anywhere without seeing one. Get a life nerds, god. Excuse me, I have an 3dgy and totally artistic black & white shoooter to play.

EvilHomer
Yeah! You're totally right! Why do these video game companies keep pandering to their target demographic, "people who don't have a stick up their ass"? Why can't they make a game suitable for my refined palate?

One star because this game wasn't about a retired bouncer from Borneo, who reads Proust and drives around the countryside in Kerouac's old car (obeying all traffic laws, of course, don't want to get too 3dgy), looking for girls to talk to and teaching orphaned immigrant children about Avant-Garde Russian Independent Cinema. Could a real artist step up and make this for me, pleeeeeeeaase?!

Hooker
As far as art in games go, I'd take Super Mario World and Psychonauts over Hitman and Assassin's Creed. Joy > cheap edginess.

Xiphias
it's set during the crusades, not in a fantasy world.

OldScratch
I never realised the Crusades shared so much with The Matrix or Dungeons and Dragons. Do you think part of this game takes place in a dungeon/sewer?

A game about an ex-bouncer who teaches cannibal orphans to appreciate cinema in the jungles of Borneo sounds kind of awesome, actually.

Xiphias
You're not even making sense. The slow motion is part of the trailer, not the gameplay, best as I can tell. And I have no idea where you get the D&D shit from (swords actually existed, strangely enough.)

Even Planescape: Torment, the christ of video games, had a sewer level.

EvilHomer
Fallout had that level where you blow up an outhouse and drop into a pit of shit; that's pretty close to a sewer level, and I don't hear people complaining about that.

OldScratch
The description says - 'ALL IN-GAME RENDERING [...]' So let's assume the Matrixlicious stylized combat, with slo-mo, and acrobatic spins, and the dramatic roof leap, right out of The Matrix, are part of the game.

So, the Crusades mainly involved using thief-like sneaking and assassination skills, and running through stone passages engaging in intermittent sword combat? Dude, this is digitised Dungeons & Dragons by another name. It's what game designers grew up on. It's what they know. I would safely bet that taking part in a Crusade was nothing like this.

All I am saying is that with 3d modeling tools and sweet physics engines we could design just about anything - but nearly all of what we get is D&D based, with Matrix-style combat, sewers, dungeons, etc. Planescape: Torment was sweet, but it's D&D. Remember 'Jet Set (Grind) Radio'? A renegade secret society of guys with 70s porn star hair trying to recover an evil record that can summon Satan when scratched properly by a skillful DJ? I am just hoping for a little more creativity, rather than the same, re-hashed sci-fi and D&D themes again and again and again. Assassin's Creed doesn't impress me for that reason.


EvilHomer
Well, if we're to accept the premise that you're an assassin in the Crusades, then yes, I dare say that's what you'd be doing. What else would happen? You walk into a room, eat some black bread and gruel, then slowly die of dysentery?

And I remember Jet Grind Radio. I remember it sucked, and that's about it. Your move.

ghostdad
D&D!!!!! D&D guys!!!!!!!11
no, no, I get it, we don't go outside enough to know what would make a good video game

Lindner
... wait. I'm trying to decide which one of you is the biggest douche before I start trying to explain, it's just a fucking game. For someone who dislikes D&D so much, you whine like a roleplaying nerd, Scratch.

And for the record, Jet Grind Radio rapes your fucking mother on a nightly basis, EvilHomer. It's THAT good. And I can say that. Because I played it. I own it. I have squirted my cockjuice all over it.

You chucklefucks played with this unreleased game yet? Or are you seriously trying to take apart a story driven video game based on a 2 minute blurb?

Sit the fuck down, you arrogant bitches. You don't know shit. When we all have an informed opinion we'll talk. I'll concede that the advert's goal was to interest you in the product and in your case, Scratch, failed.

Luckily, a lot of people disagree with you, and will give it a rental so they might have some fucking inkling of what they're talking about.

EvilHomer
What's it look like? We're seriously trying to pick apart a story driven video game based on a 2 minute blurb. The best part? I didn't even know this game existed until a day ago, but I already have deep seated opinions about it. THERE IS NOTHING ELSE, EXCEPT ANAL-RETENTIVE NERDERY.

As for Jet Grind Radio, I don't doubt it rapes my mother, and it's welcome to her. It still sucks juicy donkey nuts; the Mama Homer raping simply means it sucks AND has bad taste in women.

ghostdad
Five-starred to offset douchebaggery. SIGH
OldScratch
Oh my God! Did I just write that? I'm so sorry. I haven't been myself lately. Something weird happened earlier, which probably explains that weird post-- You see, my DSL cut out for a few minutes, and I stumbled from my dark room into the bright outdoors. I wandered around for a few minutes blinking in the sunshine, until I walked into a bookstore. I think I thumbed through some magazines, with beautiful photographs from around the world of places like Greenland and Borneo and China's 'Forbidden City'. I think a girl tried to talk to me. Anyway, that didn't last long, and I quickly found myself back home with the DSL working again. I pounded half a litre of 'Diet Dr. Pepper', read a chapter from my extensive Michael Moorcock library, then played Quake IV for an hour or two. I feel OK now. I watched the 'Assasin's Creed' clip again, and I'm like 'OMFG!!! Castles!!! Matrix-like cut scenes!!! This is so awesome!' So, five stars, and apologies all around.

ghostdad
this game about the crusades doesn't have borneo in it. FUCK THAT SHIT

fluffy
WHAT A TERRIBLE INCONSISTENT FRAMERATE

actually looks pretty cool. I might even get it if I can get over my bad memories of working for Ubisoft.
Bisekrankas
+2 Stars because it looks nice. And because it convinced me not to spend money on this.

-3 stars because of terrible music that dont fit, and for making an otherwise promising assasingame look like another edgy bullettime combat crapfest.
Aelric
i happen to like that song better than the concept of this game.
3 stars for U.N.K.L.E.

Innocent Bystander
Yessuh. (Old) U.N.K.L.E. rules.

Though Bisekr... and so forth may have a point, it might not be the best choice for this trailer.

Aelric
hence 3 stars instead of five million. in my opinion,, the game takes away from the song, not the other way around.

Singing Penis
Looks pretty good to me. The music was kind of a bad choice, though.
corneille
been looking forward to this game for awhile. should be fun.
DrVital
I will play this game, learn all its secrets, and then use them to make all the haters pay dearly for their heresy.
FABIO2
Holy shit, you mean this wasn't just a shitty youtube fan made music video, but an actual official trailer that is supposed to make me want to buy the game?

If they wanted to allay fears and show that this wasn't going to be another crappy DEEP BROODING edgy teen slashfest DRIVE A METAL SPIKE INTO HIS SKULL AND GO "SHHHHH" AND KISS YOUR VICTIM ON THE LIPS AS HE SHUTTERS HIS LAST (actual developer quote!), then they just failed in the most spectacular way possible.
Jimmy Labatt
3 stars for the video, a billion for the DnD fagdance
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