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Desc:fed a diet of beer and doughnuts
Category:Pets & Animals
Tags:fat dog, beer and doughnuts, news report, Doh!
Submitted:theFlu
Date:12/18/07
Views:2250
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I hope this is a story they revisited a substantial amount of times.

DAY 23 OF FAT DOG WATCH: CANINE IN CRISIS

STATUS: STILL FAT
RomancingTrain
Seemed to work okay for the hippo.
Baldr
I like how this dog's weight-loss plan involves dropping it in the water and having it barely manage to swim to the other side without drowning. If fear of death won't burn calories, what will?

Completely Unrelated: my next door neighbor is Chinese, and continually sings off-key in Mandarin. I can hear him almost every night, but I'm not sure how to knock on their door and bring up the subject. Does anyone have a suggestion on how to handle this without looking like an uncultured asshole?
Scynne
You could try getting him some voice lessons for Christmas...

Baldr
Those cost a lot of money, and I'm just a graduate student. I'd never be able to afford it.

Sudan no1
1. fatten up a dog

2. invite your neighbor over for dinner and have a chat





(ha ha, because asians eat dogs)

Baldr
I also can't afford a dog, or the resources required to fatten one up. I do have a neighbor with two chiuauas as well-fed as the one in the submission though. Unfortunately, she never takes her eyes off them, and constantly screams at them in Spanish. Maybe I should get my friend from Spain to lure them into the apartment? I'm worried that they wouldn't respond to his European accent though.

kingarthur
The Carpenters. Tell him you'll go sing Cantopop and Carpenters karaoke with him if he lays off the off key singing for a couple nights. It'd probably work. There is no Sino-American conflict that Carpenters music can't solve.

Cube
The obvious thing to do is get a couple of mics and possibly a camcorder and start making that sweet, sweet internet-money by spreading your neighbours performances.

Roachbud
The hold it up with a towel


cognitivedissonance
Ask yourself if this is really the time and place to bring up subjects that aren't about obese dogs.

And then ask it anyway, because this is exactly the time and place.

FatFatuousNation
An old acquaintance of mine, a Chinese Malaysian, just moved off to gradschool. He ostracized himself by bellowing out opera at all hours of the day. Perhaps planets have aligned and this is the same douche. Chee Meng? If so, tell him that the folks in Claremont say to shut the fuck up, we can still hear him.

Rodents of Unusual Size
You should hire a bouncer.

afp3683
maybe you should go over and make friends and have some fun with them?

q: who doesn't have fun singing badly?

a: BAD PEOPLE.

also: five stars fir the fat dog.

Scynne
There is just so much wrong with this clip.
kingarthur
I want a fat pool dog. And a pool.
Ersatz
That dog has better health care than you do.
Enjoy
It's the Homer Simpson of dogs.
don piano
the practice of dropping life-threateningly obese dogs in swimming pools is known as "waterbuzzing"
Triggerbaby
Miss Piggy 2007
theFlu
Mostly, I just loved the dog's FAT PANT at the beginning

"it's the sound of an animal struggling to shed years of horrible nutrition"
Caminante Nocturno
Can you imagine how horrible a wet fat dog smells?
Billy Buttsex
A STRICT DIET OF BEER AND DOUGHNUTS
Paranatural
A friend of mine actually had a dog that looked a lot like this. The dog ate pretty much anything it could get it's mouth on, and it didn't help that everything his owner ate she gave half to the dog, or more. Like, she would go to restraunts and gets something for the dog. The dog would eat anything though, it loved eating out of the cat litter box. Once, I dropped some food on the floor...almost. The dog, from across the room, made it near me, and the vaccum-like ability of it's mouth made sure the foor never hit the floor. Also, it ate an entire box of andes mints I had in my room. When I say the whole box, I don't mean it ate all the candies. It nate the wrappers and most of the box, too.
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