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Desc:Dude, ew.
Category:Pets & Animals, Horror
Tags:France, jeremy clarkson, animal cruelty, two hundred bucks for THAT?
Submitted:Hooper_X
Date:01/05/08
Views:6905
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Comment count is 22
Hooper_X
"First, it is caught with a net in the forest. Taken alive, its eyes are poked out and the bird is put in a small cage. It's then force-fed oats, millet and figs until it has swollen to four times its normal size. Then the bird is drowned alive in fine cognac. Then, it's roasted whole, in an oven at high heat, for six to eight minutes. Once it reaches the table, a napkin is placed over the eater's head. The technique of eating the ortolan is to put the whole bird into the mouth, with only the beak protruding. Here sadism mingles with masochism. The first taste as you crunch on the bird is the brandied flesh and fat. Then, the bitterness of the guts follow and finally, as the tiny, delicate bones are being chewed on, they will lacerate the diner's gums, with the salty taste of the bleeding gums mingling with the richness of the fat and the bitterness of the organs. Chewing the ortolan takes approximately 15 minutes."

Vegans, commence shitting yourselves.
IrishWhiskey
The hell with Vegans. I'm a proud carnivore, and still think thats fucked up.

Also "they will lacerate the diner's gums, with the salty taste of the bleeding gums"??!?

Ursa_minor
I'm a proud omnivore, but this is just over the fucking top.

Billy Buttsex
People are so gross these days

andru strange
aw, they're so cute before their heads are cut off.
Jeriko-1
It all looks so... Delicious... Forgive me, Lord.
Hooper_X
The sad part is, yeah, it's probably pretty tasty.

Enjoy
That was awesome. Sad to see the EU has taken on food bannings now.
StanleyPain
Yeah, cuz god forbid you should just fucking kill an animal and eat it, torturing it first is much more fun! GOD DAMN ACTIVIST JUDGES.

crote
I'm pretty sure they're banned because they're endangered.

Sort of a good reason.

snothouse
It's also France's national bird.

Camonk
Do they even have judges over in France? I thought everybody just told the criminal good job on trying and gave him a hug.

Enjoy
I didn't say I was opposed to the ban, I just find it miserable the EU considers itself the proper authority to take on food censorship.

SharoKham
So, what, you want it to be on a country-by-country basis and the poorest EU nation inevitably makes an easy buck by legalizing Ortolan eating and all the crazy Ortolan bone crunchers gather in one tiny country and shit gets crazy?

Enjoy, you're a genius!

crote
Francois Mitterand's last meal was an hours long feast culminating in Ortolan. He actually didn't die until a week and a half after the meal, but refused food because he wanted the Ortolan to be the last thing he consumed.

This was after he had returned from his trip to Egypt to commune with the pharaohs.
Evilhead
"For centuries, a rite of passage for French gourmets has been the eating of the Ortolan. These tiny birdsócaptured alive, force-fed, then drowned in Armagnacówere roasted whole and eaten that way, bones and all, while the diner draped his head with a linen napkin to preserve the precious aromas and, some believe, to hide from God."
Hooper_X
I'd just like to know who INVENTED the fucking thing.

"Hey, you know what'd be good? An overstuffed sparrow, boiled in booze, eaten whole!"

"I'll take TWO!"

IrishWhiskey
The hiding from God part makes sense to me. I sure as hell wouldn't want him seeing THAT.

B. Weed
hooper_x: Sounds like some mad thing a Roman emperor thought of.

Rodents of Unusual Size
I think the Ortolan would make a great horror film.
Roachbud
Delicious suffering
theFlu
Ortolan is what the Cenobites eat
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