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Desc:Cruise employs synonyms, acronyms and a great deal of sincerety to say... something.
Category:Humor, Religious
Tags:Scientology, Tom Cruise, xenu, lrh, Keynote
Submitted:MK_Ultra
Date:01/19/08
Views:2671
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Comment count is 24
C. Eloi Marx - 2008-01-19
5 stars of solid clam-speak.
FatFatuousNation - 2008-01-19
In 1967, L. Ron Hubbard [appointed] himself "Commodore" of a small fleet of Scientologist-crewed ships that spent the next eight years cruising the Mediterranean Sea... He was attended by "Commodore's Messengers," teenage girls dressed in white "hot pants" who waited on him hand and foot, bathing and dressing him... He had frequent screaming tantrums.

"He was existing almost totally on a diet of drugs." -Virginia Downsborough, Hubbard's caretaker
FatFatuousNation - 2008-01-19
Charm:
"The trouble with China is, there are too many chinks here." - 17 year old Ron Hubbard

Loyality:
The Hubbard Dianetic Research Foundation was incorporated in Elizabeth, New Jersey... Hubbard soon abandoned the Foundation, denouncing a number of his former associates as communists to the FBI.

Humility:
"The creation of dianetics is a milestone for man comparable to his discovery of fire and superior to his inventions of the wheel and arch." -Hubbard

Benevolence:
"[An enemy of Scientology] may be deprived of property or injured by any means by any Scientologist without any discipline of the Scientologist. May be tricked, sued or lied to or destroyed." -Hubbard

L. Ron Hubbard, let's give this man a round of applause.

Doctor Arcane - 2008-01-19
Dude if I was a wealthy cult leader, I'd totally spend my last days surrounded by teenage girls in hot-pants.

cognitivedissonance - 2008-01-19
For more fun, please read "Strange Angel," about the life and mysterious death of rocket scientist and Crowleyite, Jack Parsons, with whom LRH lived (mooched) for several years. LRH's first yacht was "given" by Parsons, through some somewhat shady circumstances, after Parsons tried to father the Antichrist's mortal body.

kingarthur - 2008-01-19
If I remember correctly, didn't Crowley tag LRH as a con-artist and urge Parsons to stop associationg with him?

Menudo con queso - 2008-01-20
I haven't read Strange Angel, but I enjoyed another book about Parsons, "Sex and Rockets" by 'Jack Carter' (pseudonym).

I'm now making an effort to salute LRH every day in as many inappropriate contexts as possible.

FangoftheCobras - 2008-01-20
Strange Angel is a great book. Nerds are attracted to science and magic.
How a nerd of hubbards caliber was able to convince the world of his nonsense blending the two is truly amazing. If you have never done a personality test, i urge you to. Just dont use your real name.

FatFatuousNation - 2008-01-21
I just ordered "Strange Angel." It better be good!

Randroid - 2008-01-19
A medal the size of a frying pan!


1394 - 2008-01-21
After hearing that interview of the BA plane crash, exactly what I was thinking.

prang - 2008-01-19
That stage design looks impressive, but it's probably all styrofoam.
boner - 2008-01-19
I'm getting Google ads for videos of horses farting, which makes more sense than this.
Chancho - 2008-01-19
Tom Cruise used LRH Tech to cure his gas problem.

Chalkdust - 2008-01-19
Just replace all mentions to Scientology with things from your high school.
Lurchi - 2008-01-20
The scariest and craziest TC video yet.
delicatessen - 2008-01-20
Say what you will, but Scientology makes it possible for someone to dress all in black and give a creepy speech in front of a giant globe of the earth. In real life.
Scynne - 2008-01-20
This...is a good point!

charmlessman - 2008-01-20
Well, that's the last straw. I'm never watching a Tom Cruise movie ever again. I mean, it was probably true anyway, but I've just realized it. Never. Again.

Shit... I wanted to watch Magnolia again.

OK, maybe Magnolia.
Rodents of Unusual Size - 2008-01-20
This is what happens when you don't graduate from high school and have a chip on your shoulder. Oh, and insane.
waxeater - 2008-01-20
So this is a huge, elaborate put-on, right? Alan Funt has something to do with this, right?
bang to buck ratio - 2008-01-21
Does he - not just here but in all the recent videos - remind anyone else of Michael Scott from The Office? The ridiculous gravitas, the rambling, the acronyms, the "deep"-sounding incoherence...
yoyo1 - 2008-01-23
I like how cruise is totally into it. He might have problems getting himself to sleep at night, but when in public he is as solid as a diamond. Very impressive.

Caminante Nocturno - 2008-01-26
To congratulate themselves so much, I've never seen a happier group!
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