C. Eloi Marx 
5 stars of solid clam-speak.
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FatFatuousNation
In 1967, L. Ron Hubbard [appointed] himself "Commodore" of a small fleet of Scientologist-crewed ships that spent the next eight years cruising the Mediterranean Sea... He was attended by "Commodore's Messengers," teenage girls dressed in white "hot pants" who waited on him hand and foot, bathing and dressing him... He had frequent screaming tantrums.
"He was existing almost totally on a diet of drugs." -Virginia Downsborough, Hubbard's caretaker
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FatFatuousNation Charm:
"The trouble with China is, there are too many chinks here." - 17 year old Ron Hubbard
Loyality:
The Hubbard Dianetic Research Foundation was incorporated in Elizabeth, New Jersey... Hubbard soon abandoned the Foundation, denouncing a number of his former associates as communists to the FBI.
Humility:
"The creation of dianetics is a milestone for man comparable to his discovery of fire and superior to his inventions of the wheel and arch." -Hubbard
Benevolence:
"[An enemy of Scientology] may be deprived of property or injured by any means by any Scientologist without any discipline of the Scientologist. May be tricked, sued or lied to or destroyed." -Hubbard
L. Ron Hubbard, let's give this man a round of applause.
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FangoftheCobras Strange Angel is a great book. Nerds are attracted to science and magic.
How a nerd of hubbards caliber was able to convince the world of his nonsense blending the two is truly amazing. If you have never done a personality test, i urge you to. Just dont use your real name.
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Randroid
A medal the size of a frying pan!
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prang
That stage design looks impressive, but it's probably all styrofoam.
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boner
I'm getting Google ads for videos of horses farting, which makes more sense than this.
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Chancho Tom Cruise used LRH Tech to cure his gas problem.
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Chalkdust
Just replace all mentions to Scientology with things from your high school.
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Lurchi
The scariest and craziest TC video yet.
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delicatessen
Say what you will, but Scientology makes it possible for someone to dress all in black and give a creepy speech in front of a giant globe of the earth. In real life.
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charmlessman
Well, that's the last straw. I'm never watching a Tom Cruise movie ever again. I mean, it was probably true anyway, but I've just realized it. Never. Again.
Shit... I wanted to watch Magnolia again.
OK, maybe Magnolia.
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Rodents of Unusual Size
This is what happens when you don't graduate from high school and have a chip on your shoulder. Oh, and insane.
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waxeater
So this is a huge, elaborate put-on, right? Alan Funt has something to do with this, right?
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bang to buck ratio
Does he - not just here but in all the recent videos - remind anyone else of Michael Scott from The Office? The ridiculous gravitas, the rambling, the acronyms, the "deep"-sounding incoherence...
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yoyo1
I like how cruise is totally into it. He might have problems getting himself to sleep at night, but when in public he is as solid as a diamond. Very impressive.
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Caminante Nocturno
To congratulate themselves so much, I've never seen a happier group!
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