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Desc:This week, Yahtzee roleplays a pale, lanky misogynist. Also, the debut of Intro Sequence Theater!
Category:Video Games, Cartoons & Animation
Tags:misogyny, zero punctuation, Yahtzee, mumorpurger, painkiller
Submitted:RockBolt
Date:01/23/08
Views:10288
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Comment count is 49
Lothy
I try not to be too liberal with the five stars, but man that sequence at the end earned it.
fluffy
I hope Intro Sequence Theatre becomes a regular feature.
IrishWhiskey
I was going to give the review four stars, but Pufferfish earns it five.
Caminante Nocturno
I did not see the second part of this video coming, and it hit me like a comedy freight train loaded to capacity with comedy.
Stog
Intro Sequence Theater just made my shitty morning worth it.
tamago
First thing I watched this morning, and boy was it gold.
Unmerciful Crushing Force
Was I the only one not particularly impressed with Intro Sequence Theatre? Still, pufferfish.
snothouse
I hope we haven't five starred him into a monster.
A nerdy, nerdy monster.

theSnake
I didn't think the Theatre part was funny either, but the review was fantastic as always.

KnowFuture
"Retard McSpackyPants" alone would fetch this an easy 5.


Udderdude
10/5.
zatojones
20 minutes. Out front. Puffer fish.
Monchiles Monchiles
20 minutes. Out front. Puffer fish.

kingarthur
Agreed. 20 minutes. Out front. Pufferfish.

j lzrd / swift idiot
20 minutes. Out front. Pufferfish.

Ahriman the Creepy Lurker
Dude, stop being a cheapass and buy yourself a self-washing gimp.
Dummy Rum
It's not a gimp if they can wash themselves. That's like a video game that plays itself.

Cap'n Profan!ty
well done. well well fucking done. i was also enamored of "retard mcspackypants"
Xenocide
I continue to be baffled as to why anyone would play The Witcher, but I could never put my bewilderment in words as well as Yahtzee.
Lindner
Well it's like a MMORPG... without the (I use the term loosely) people. So I can see where it would be a step up, albeit a small one.

Baldr
Everything he said was true, but I'm currently halfway through the witcher, and I love it. It's even got serious issues that weren't mentioned in the review. For example, I find that I read a book while playing, since there's massive amount of downtime while things load. I've seen 10 second delays just going from the main menu to the load menu.

That said, large portions of the story, world, and characters are fantastic. It also does the best job of any game I've seen of creating the illusion that you're having an impact on the world around you.

FABIO2
Yeah, the biggest complaint I have is having to run long distances coupled with ridiculous load times (20-30 seconds just to enter AND exit a one room hut).


But fuck fuck fuckity FUCK the swamp level and running by hordes of swamp monsters only to have FUCKING GODDAMN FUCK killer plant pop up and instantly kill you from a mile away with flying poisonous thorns.

blackmetallic
I just finished the game, and its not bad...I have a "newer" PC, not a godhead gamer rig, and load times arent too bad with a dual core PC and 2 Gigs RAM. That swamp level increased my swearing capacity to new grandiose heights as well.

Ersatz
Shame. Failure. Ignominy. Swindon.
Quad9Damage
As usual, the video lasted twice as long for me because I kept backtracking to see what I'd just missed.
Quad9Damage
And before I forget, Intro Sequence Theater is the most awesome thing since awesome was invented.

Pillager
This just keeps getting better...


CornOnTheCabre
5 for bewilderment upon finding out he was playing a mumorpurger
coprolalia
You're soaking in it.

revdrew
Five for the review, four for intro theater but I see a lot of potential there.
Repomancer
MMORPGER!
coprolalia
Nice to see him switch it up a bit.
LISTEN WELL
Volbard
I didn't think it was as funny as his other ones, but I do sort of love the witcher. Has anyone else tried the witcher? Other complaints aside, did playing it seem too complicated like Yahtzee suggests?
Baldr
It definitely suffers from too many menus, but as far as rpgs go, I've seen far worse. I haven't run into an interface issue yet that led me to consult a manual or online website, which puts it above fallout 2 and bioshock.

The real issue is downtime. Everything takes just a little bit longer to load than it should, from opening inventories to loading areas. When you combine this with some poorly paced quests that involve traveling long distances it starts to wear on you a bit.

For me it was well worth fifty dollars, but I have friends that I wouldn't dream of recommending it to.

Aelric
the witcher, in my opinion, is the best rpg i've played since vampire: bloodlines. it also shares alot of the problems vampire had, although the witcher didn't drop the ball as badly as troika did.

yeah, it's complicated, and honestly, i rarely bothered with the alchemy and shit, but it was an interesting narrative in a great setting with decent gameplay. that's all i really want in any game. hell, that's what made fallout good. (and no, i'm not one of "those" types)

that said, painkiller was the better game of the two presented here. god, i think i'll load it up right now.

The God of Biscuits
Baldr, we do not talk that way about Fallout 2 here. The Hubologists are going to hurt you if you do.

Baldr
Fallout 2 is one of my top ten favorite single player games, but the interface has serious issues. I spent several hours trying to figure out how to get into the abandoned base before I realized that you had to hold the button down over the cart for several seconds, drag it over to the satchel icon, then select an explosive and set the detonator timer.

The fact that I love something doesn't prevent me from acknowledging that it has flaws. This is what separates me from the rest of the internet.


Aelric
baldr, in case you arn't in the know, fallout 1 and 2 has tax exempt status. no subject on the internet will gather a larger crowd of angry folks. rationality will not be a trait they have. fallout certainly had flaws, but i've learned to shut up about them in order to avoid piranha attacks. for examples, go look at any page of the NMA forums.

IrishWhiskey
Fallout had no flaws and if you repeat that filthy lie I will cut you. And I'm perfectly rational, dammit.

Flux
Intro theater is great, overall he's funny, but that is a really terrible and short sighted review of a pretty great game.
RockBolt
...which may be why Yahtzee specified twice that it wasn't a review but merely 'First Impressions'

Pie Boy
Wash the gimp.
cognitivedissonance
I, too, have wondered why all dwarves are Scottish.
afp3683
the beards, the stockiness, the large amounts of ale...

robotkarateman
While, ordinarily, I interpret this guy's work as [accent style="funny"]This game is shite! Here's some words Yanks don't understand![/accent], I have to admit he's spot on this time. Witcher is a fantasy game made by and for 14 year-old boys with porn addictions. Plus, I'm going to be telling people I have to wash the gimp for days now.
Dummy Rum
"Kill X amount of creatures and come back to this spot" is mumorpurger in my book.

FABIO2
Not to be a humorless fag, but The Witcher is about as much an MMORPG as Knights of the Old Republic, which it pretty much emulates except with longer load times, boobs, and the nagging feeling that one-third of the whole thing was lost in translation that seems to come standard issue with Eastern European games. This all still makes it one of the better RPGs to come out in a while.


Now, to be a humorless fag, Intro Theater wasn't anything great. One man MST3k (meets Monty Python) shows usually aren't.
FABIO2
Plus I tried submitting the Drayd "seduction" scene, but I guess Chet nixed it for having rendered boobies =(

Harveyjames
HAH

He gets better and better.
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