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Desc:The lighter side of Scientologist badgering!
Category:Educational, Humor
Tags:Scientology, hubbard, xenu, xenutv, scientologist
Submitted:Aubrey McFate
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Comment count is 36
getting... dizzy...
Scientology: Where everyone is guilty but you.
It's the perfect response for any situation.

"You need to slow down on your drinking"
"What are YOUR crimes?"

"I talked to the sheriff today. He wants you to stop stealing road signs."
"What are YOUR crimes?"

"You can't hide what's under your floorboards forever."
"What are YOUR crimes?"
Kirk Cameron and many evangelicals do the exact same thing:

"The evidence contradicts a 6,000 year old earth"

"Have you ever lied? Have you ever stolen? Have you ever had a lustful thought? Then you are a bad person, and need salvation. How can you claim to be right and above God when you admit you are so terrible? Don't you know how much Jesus suffered for you? Don't you feel guilty about that? You are inherently sinful, and evil and wicked and naughty, and a bad, bad man who needs a span.... ahem."

Carnival of hilarity.
Oh shit. Looks like Scientology knows all about your Nigerian-stealing guy, Mark. You better turn yourself in.
Look, you can talk shit about my mistress woman and my drug-addict guy BUT DO NOT FUCK WITH MY NIGERIAN-STEALING GUY HE HAS ENOUGH PROBLEMS K?

Hildegard Landstrom
Has anyone *not* utterly punchable ever joined Scientology? Most evidence points to "no".
My mother was actually forced into it by her (then) husband during the mid 70's. Back then, nobody below a certain ranking knew about Xenu or anything, so it was easy for some people to get ensnared just by Dianetics. Of course, that quickly faded when they started talking about levitating ash trays by screaming at them and stocking up bullets and cigarettes for the oil crash.

I love the wiener-faced guy with glasses in the last 5 seconds.

I've shoplifted candy, taken money which was left out in the open, and failed to return about ten library books over the years.

So, Xenu's got that on me, I guess.
Monchiles Monchiles
Kind of losing its novelty.
andru strange
my favorite bull-baiting clip... i would like to ejaculate violently and forcefully in her mouth, then slit her throat and watch my jism slowly create a crimson-pearl necklace.
Ahriman the Creepy Lurker
No, you wouldn't. Are you fourteen, or what?

andru strange
oh em gee, niggah. you are HELLA gay. that was comedic genius! apologize for being such a dipshit.

Oh, so not 14? What, 12?

andru strange
no, ZawBanjito. let's talk about YOUR crimes!

Seek help. Now. Perhaps from your middle school guidance counselor.

andru strange
go fuck yourself, catfancy.

Midnight Man
Are you gonna reply to every one of these?

Maggot Brain
The answer she is looking for is seven.

Also, pot smoking with Jesse?
Uuuh... is she the Scientologist or the protester? I can no longer tell the difference.

+1 for carnival music.
My only weakness is a list of crimes
My only weakness is well nevermind, nevermind....

The only crime I tried to cover up is that of masturbating to an annoying woman whose voice sounds like her larynx was rubbed with ham asking me over and over again what crimes I'd covered up today.

Brilliant use of the Smiths, comrade.

Wait, how did a car get onto the sidewalk? I'm dizzy AND confused. (i guess the patter worked after all!)
No thanks, I'm full.
Aubrey McFate
I like how so many people watch a video labeled Scientology who are tired of watching Scientology videos and rate it down because they are tired of Scientology videos.

So should I only one-star clips only when their shittiness takes me by surprise? Is premeditated one-starring a crime? Should I never have come here in the first place? Help me, I apparently don't know how this works anymore.

Aubrey McFate
Most of the ratings seem like they're completely unrelated how good or bad the video is, just that they're tired of that kind of video or something like that.

I'm not taking it personally; this is just a corner of the internet for submitting fun shit. I just find it weird, is all. Same think happened with the Lasagna Cat I submitted.

I think i am in love. With the easily led.
Dummy Rum
Please note her thousand-yard stare. I think all Elron worshipers have it. o_O
That was beautiful.
Tuan Jim
carnival music
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