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Desc:Skip the intro and jump right to the Jesusin'.
Category:Religious, Educational
Tags:Texas, evangelicals, white people, let the bodies hit the floor, community college
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Comment count is 104
Hooper_X - 2008-02-12
And this was the VALEDICTORIAN. Wonder what the rest of the student body was like?

(it gets REALLY great about 2:50)
baleen - 2008-02-12

Apparently this caused a lot of rage and protest on the campus.

Hooper_X - 2008-02-12
I would fucking hope so.

Merkwuerdigeliebe - 2008-08-05
Did anyone catch the whispered "shut up" at 3:06? It's as of demons' voices are trying to stop her thoughts; that's about when she completely falls apart, too.

"God, bless you for giving me the ability to hear voices, even if they tell me to kill my fellow students"

Midnight Man - 2008-02-12
Did she start speaking in tongues?
Merkwuerdigeliebe - 2008-08-05
as if*

Merkwuerdigeliebe - 2008-08-05
My mind is frazzled after this video; I can't click properly.

dr_mr_vandertramps - 2008-02-12
Ho-ly shit.
Smellvin - 2008-02-12
Yet another reason to never EVER EVER set foot in Texas (as if I needed any more).
themilkshark - 2008-02-12
Yet another reason for every graduate to consider sneaking a paintball gun in under their gown.

j lzrd / swift idiot - 2008-06-16
I wholeheartedly approve of the idea above this comment.

mantang0 - 2008-02-12
Haha! What a dumb cunt. Please post more awesome bullshit.
Shotgun Jackson - 2008-12-13
I love Camonk

ZawBanjito - 2008-02-12
Jesus reached down and totally kicked her ass.
zatojones - 2008-02-12
Or gave her some REALLY good lovin'. It's sort of hard to tell

bac - 2008-05-13
I could of swore I heard a splash.

revdrew - 2008-02-12
Texas: Itís Like a Whole Other Country
Green - 2008-09-01
Texas: Itís Like a Whole Other (third world) Country

kingarthur - 2008-02-12
See, I got fired (indirectly) for not going in on these prayer-orgies at lunch breaks when working in Mississippi. At least New Orleans sort of exists in a Christ-free zone.
IrishWhiskey - 2008-02-12
I'd hate to be a Jewish teacher who gets her as a student.

TeenerTot - 2008-02-12
Sounds to me like she's got a not-so-holy "thing" for Jesus....
glasseye - 2008-02-12
"People who are making wrong decisions." Like having a brain instead of being a mindless slave to a religion?

What a fucking lunatic.
Billy Buttsex - 2008-02-12

I was okay with her speaking for about the first minute, and then decided she was just being rude, AND THEN I DECIDED THAT SHE WAS NUTS.

This is Billy Buttsex, and I'm letting you know that she crossed a pretty big line.
Dummy Rum - 2008-02-13

What the heck? Are you reverse-trolling here or something? Shouldn't you be accusing her of not hating gays enough or something?

Billy Buttsex - 2008-02-13
I was fine with not fighting you guys too much on this one until the Fag Patrol down there started bashing Scynne for being a good person.

Rudy - 2008-02-12
When she was talking about the King of the Universe sending His Son down to earth, all I could think about was Katamari Damacy. I guess I'm one of those people she was talking about when she had her lil' breakdown.

laaaaa la la la la la la la la la la la la la
victorm - 2008-02-12
Some people just aren't happy unless they are the center of attention.
The Great Hippo - 2008-02-12
She's clearly an intelligent person who's seriously disturbed. It wouldn't surprise me to learn that she's on heavy meds that are screwing with her brain.

Religious extremism can *seriously* fuck up highly intelligent people. From what little I've seen, some eventually get over it; some carry the luggage for the rest of their lives.
zatojones - 2008-02-12
All it takes to be valedictorian is making good grades. Even dimwits can do that if they work hard enough at it. I have a feeling her life was pretty much studying and Jesus and nothing else.

The Great Hippo - 2008-02-13
I dunno, I always assumed you had to have serious brains to get straight As in any college environment. Then again, I really (honestly) wouldn't know.

Merkwuerdigeliebe - 2008-08-05
In complete agreement with Hippo.

Old_Zircon - 2009-04-30
No, college is pretty lightweight, intellectually. You just have to work hard and not be a complete fuckup and you'll do fine. You can actually learn, too, but it's not really mandatory.

andru strange - 2008-02-12
oh my fucking god...
Ahriman the Creepy Lurker - 2008-02-12
I can't tell if she's been heavily sedated or if Jesus is giving her the most painful cunnilingus of her life.
paranex - 2008-02-12
"Mmm....have mercy on them Lord...Mercy on them Jesus...Oooh..."

Cube - 2008-07-01
Police Academy 1

Gojira1000 - 2008-02-12
I mistrust speeches that include the phrase "This will be a day of death" - five stars for TEH KRAZEE
svraz - 2008-02-12
"The commencement addresss has been delivered the degrees have been conferred we have heard the benidiction now lets begin the procession."

Dooo Doo Deee Dah

And thus the 2007 graduates of this small Texas college shuffled out into the world.
dead_cat - 2008-02-13
In 15 years, she will either be a devoted, pseudo-stay-at-home mom (unless she's got serious money and can afford the real thing), or the biggest whore to ever grace the reunion party.

GoneGirl - 2008-02-12
I was just irritated until the awesome, awesome convulsions.
RockBolt - 2008-02-12

And that guy was really taking the whole thing in stride. Stand there, glance up at the crazy, flip though booklet, calmly take over microphone as student hits the floor, ask for an ambulance, closing remarks, cookies and punch

sosage - 2008-02-12
I like how the majority of the faculty around her are like, "Get an ambulance. An ambulance is coming? Good. The show must go on. Turn on the music."
Explodotron - 2008-02-12
I wish people praised me so I could go online and see all the silliness done in my name.

StanleyPain - 2008-02-12
Jesus tittyfucking Christ.

I love the ending, that's just awesome. yeah, let's just move on and, uh...she'll be alright whatever.
Chet - 2008-02-15
My 5 stars are for the ending. Call an ambulance and pass the salt, we got shit to do...

wormy_the_hole - 2008-03-04
The ending was AMAZING. Her all sobbing quietly behind the podium as life just went on without her.

Adramelech - 2008-02-12
Fucking amazing. It's pretty impressive when a speech can start off by apologizing to God for learning things and only go downhill.
faxed28 - 2008-02-12
jesus sLaves lolzz
Cinnamon Imperialist - 2008-02-12
As awesome as this is, there's no way Baldy McSmugatheist is getting my stars.
Sean Robinson - 2008-02-12

Scynne - 2008-02-12
This five is given for support of this girl's actions.

Matthew 5:11-12 "God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers. Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way."
StanleyPain - 2008-02-12
So then, God likes his followers to act like drama queen, zealot, douchebags or what? Cuz if I was a god and had followers like this, I'd be embarrassed.

IrishWhiskey - 2008-02-12
I'm just going to assume thats a joke.

The guy next to her really should have known to stop that from the beginning. When the Valedictorian at a Graduation is decrying the sin of intellectualism, something has gone wrong. He even does a double-take at that, but somehow decides not to interrupt until she's convulsing.

Scynne - 2008-02-12
Not joke.

Screwtape - 2008-02-12

Matthew 6:5-6

"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 6But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."


kingarthur - 2008-02-12
Take your religion and go home.

IrishWhiskey - 2008-02-12

Scynne - 2008-02-12
But are we not called to boldly preach boldly, letting our actions shine for all to see, that they, through us, may see the glory of God? She does not seem to bepraying for her own glory.

Scynne - 2008-02-12
The verse you gave, Screwtape, was referring to the Pharisees, who prayed in the streets to show their piousness to all those, that they might be raised up in the eyes of their fellow man.

Mordant - 2008-02-12
How is this girl not being just like the Pharisees?

Scynne - 2008-02-12
Well, people don't seem to be singing her praises, for one.

Ahriman the Creepy Lurker - 2008-02-12
Scynne, this woman is exactly what Matthew 6:5 is preaching against, you fucking twit.

Billy Buttsex - 2008-02-12
Hey-- leave Scynne the fuck alone.

NoCode - 2008-02-12
5 stars for the crazy and also for Screwtape.

Scynne: Most of the people here on poe-tv are atheists. The rest are not crazy idiots. (the exception being theSnake. He is an idiot and possibly crazy as well.)

Nobody cares about your scripture-quoting. Even the Devil can quote scripture. This bitch was pure insanity, she's so out of control that she floods her system with adrenaline just by thinking about Jee-zus, and that speech was completely inappropriate for a public college.

If you can't separate your zealotry from your common sense and see that everything about that video was sad and wrong, then you are a gigantic faggot.

nocash - 2008-02-12
How pissed off would you be if she was a Muslim and gave a valedictorian speech about Allah?

Billy Buttsex - 2008-02-12
Two things, you guys.

1) Yes, the woman's a little overzealous and a little rude, but leave Scynne alone. He's just cautious about making fun of her because he knows she's trying to do a good thing for Jesus (even though she failed miserably and definitely hurt more than helped).

2) This is a Christian country. You don't see anyone here telling Iranians to shut up if someone delivers a Christian speech at an Iranian university. Get over it and stop acting like we're a multicultural land of hugs.

Ahriman the Creepy Lurker - 2008-02-13
Two things, faggot:

1) A little overzealous? The woman is a gibbering, bigoted nut.

2) Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, that's cute kid. Let us know when you've passed the Rights & Responsibilities class you'll be taking when you get to high school and then we'll talk.

Scynne - 2008-02-13
Billy Butsex, you'll do all right in the world :D

Adham Nu'man - 2008-02-13
Kids (and by this I mean Scynne and Billy), this is POETV, mathematically depicted below.

POETV = Strange videos + derogative comments + LULZ

It's not that hard to understand, so I don't see why waste your precious time typing: LEAVE TEH GIRL ALONE SHE TRULY BELIEVES IN JEEBUS AND THE BIBLE SAYS WE NEED TO STAND BY GOD'S WORD!!!!!!!1111 HERE IS SOME BIBLE SCRPTURE:

"And the Lord said: all ye who post on POETV are faggots" Ukulele 5:69

glasseye - 2008-02-15
Christianity is practiced by 76% of the population in the US and falling. Woot! It's idiots like this chick that drive more away from the thought slavery that is religion.

crayondisaster - 2008-02-20
Last time I checked, this country didn't have a stated religion, unless some crazy shit has been happening while I was slaughtering animals for my crazy pagan gods. And Iran doesn't really have a constitution that separates religion from state. I think a public college kind of counts as state.

IrishWhiskey - 2008-03-01
I suppose Billy Buttsex has a point in asking for more civility, as some of the comments have...

...oh what's that? He refers to people who disagree with him as "the fag patrol" earlier on the page? Never mind.

Aelric - 2008-03-20
well, this has been off the front page for weeks now, but i gotta say, both sides are acting like they just graduated the school of jackassery.

billy, scynne: do as you please. i'm an atheiest but not the beligerent type. what you want to worship is none of my buisness and if it brings you happiness, more power to you. that said, honestly, i don't think jesus would be referring to anyone as the fag patrol. the key to preaching is patience. scynne seems a bit better at this. also, scynne, while you make a better preacher than billy, it's hard not to say that this chick is REALLY out there, and not in that pentecostal speaking in tongues kind of way, but in that blind to the world around her kind of way. intellectual pursuit has brought mankind medicine and technology, which she is decrying. if god didn't will it, theoretically, we'd still be in mud huts.

everyone else: despite being on your side, i think you guys get WAY too venomous about this shit. acting like this makes the zealots hate us more driving to to further their "fundamentalism". there will always be worshipers of all kinds, and those who don't. either side one is on, we're all in the same pig sty, so why force each other to eat shit?

both sides: debate and screaming are two very different things.

j lzrd / swift idiot - 2008-06-16
Hi there Scynne. I've seen you in passing from time to time on the forums and around here in the comments. You seem like a stand-up guy, an honest human being, a pretty damn decent soul. You're okay in my book. Nothing is going to change that, unless you decide it should by acting like a total jerk.

But please.


If I wanted to read your book, I would have by now. Believe me when I say I've had plenty of opportunities. Being brought up in a Unitarian household does a lot of good towards becoming a sane member of society later in life, with a few exceptions.

And please, if you're going to quote something, try and quote the original author. You know, that illiterate, nomadic goat-herder in the sky who keeps seeing fit to talk through other people's mouths instead of simply proving he exists. What was his name again? Abrahamic religions confuse me in general, and it's not just what the proper name for The Boss is; they tell me one thing, and then tell me another, contradictory thing, and then they tell me the two things they just said are not mutually exclusive...

All I want to know is the name, home address, and phone number of the man in charge, so I can file a list of complaints.

Now, Scynne, to get back to you, I'm honestly surprised at your candor. You don't seem to care what other people think about what you think, which of course is a strong moral value in your circle of peers. However, like I said, you also seem to have a brain up there above your shoulders and spine. If I could perhaps talk with you later, I'd like to know how you deal with the dissonence of being both intelligent and religious.

Respond if you want.

j lzrd / swift idiot - 2008-06-16
Also, substitute "Dan Lacey" for "Scynne" and I wouldn't have to change a single word of what I said.

We'll talk about this when we talk about this.

RedHood - 2008-02-12
This is just sad and embarrassing.
Lauritz Melchior - 2008-02-12
I love how, when she's having her rapturous seizure, the guy just gets right to the procession and some mix between Star Wars Music and a Shostakovich Symphony starts playing
Rodents of Unusual Size - 2008-02-12
Was she trying to make yogurt? My guess is yes!
Random_Hajile - 2008-02-12
She's down for the count, but the show must go on!
A Jumping Spider! - 2008-02-13
Stress got to her in the end, I guess. I feel kinda bad for her.
charmlessman - 2008-02-13
I'm guessing her thought processes went something like this.

"OK, and now to get ready for my benediction. I'll just walk up to the podium. Huh, podiums look a lot like pulpits. Hey I KNOW WHAT I'LL DO!!!"

This is one of those moments where you're simultaneously embarrassed for, horrified by, flabbergasted by, terrified of and oddly turned on by (come on, admit it, when she was going all orgasmic, you thought about her vagina) someone.

But I have to say, my favorite part was the old man asking for someone to call an ambulance. She doesn't need an ambulance, she needs a glass of OJ and a lecture about not being a fruitbat.
sliggy - 2008-02-13
Dumb chicks like this are the reason why St. Paul wouldn't let women talk in church.
Namor - 2008-02-18
Really, really embarrassing. Totally inappropriate for the venue, utterly disrespectful of the audience, shameful grandstanding, followed by a humiliating public breakdown.

I'd say God had the last word here.
kelpfoot - 2008-02-18
I think she had a seizure.

Which is amusing in its own right, but not amusing in the sense that everyone else seems to think it is.
crayondisaster - 2008-02-20
Hey, that's what I look like when I orgasm. Five stars for that.
Midnight Man - 2008-02-22
You where a mortar board when you orgasm?

Midnight Man - 2008-02-22
wear, even

crayondisaster - 2008-02-25
you don't?


frau_eva - 2008-02-23
Haha, God smote your grandstanding jackassery.
Vicious - 2008-02-26
Boner city over here.
FABIO2 - 2008-04-26
Intro guy reminds me of a younger Milo from UHF.
anotherdeadhero - 2008-05-18
faking spirituality, 5 stars
divinitycycle - 2008-05-28
5'd for "let the bodies hit the floor" tag
Gibbs - 2008-06-07

The Intellectual's Prayer
Pie Boy - 2008-07-17
Merkwuerdigeliebe - 2008-08-05
I can't even say anything witty. I'm just, I.. The camera stole my mind like an Indian's soul.

"The Great Hippo:
She's clearly an intelligent person who's seriously disturbed. It wouldn't surprise me to learn that she's on heavy meds that are screwing with her brain."
lordpotato - 2008-09-25
Five stars for Jesusgasm and resulting tears of guilt.
William Batty - 2008-11-18
Those professors seem none too proud about putting on their funny hats and starting the "recessional". College is so stupid.
Camonk - 2008-11-24
Holy shit jesus-induced seisure! Stay classy, Texas.
Shotgun Jackson - 2008-12-13
I think she was kidding. I hope she was kidding.
Wombles - 2009-05-06
Myth: Christian college is comparable to normal college. (at least I hope this was one)

Next time I visit family in New York, I'm going wink and use the phrase "Texas-Style" whenever possible.

Sort of hope she doesn't have palsy or something, because her breakdown at the end was hilarious, and I don't want to go to hell (oh too late, right crazy lady?)
kingofthenothing - 2009-10-30
"Oh Jesus, forgive me for trying to make something out of myself and studying and getting good grades, when all I had to do all this time is find a man, any man, and crank out some babies in your name. Oh Lord! Please forgive us! And by us I mean myself, the royal "us"! I promise I won't use my degree to help myself get a good paying job. Have mercy on them, Lord! They know not what they do with their... um... uh... human... um... I ooooh shit there's the migraine again, please Jesus make it stop!"

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2009-11-22
Are we sure that this is "misbehavior" and not a stroke or something? Holy Shit.
Riskbreaker - 2009-12-29
Xtians are natural comedians.
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