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Category:Science & Technology, Accidents & Explosions
Tags:creationists, home school, Jesus fucking christ.
Submitted:Albuquerque Halsey
Date:03/27/08
Views:3860
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Comment count is 75
Hodge
Jesus fucking christ.
Spoonybard
I've chosen to believe the God of the Bible. Now, the evolutionist has chosen NOT to believe the God of the Bible. So we've chosen to believe. They're both matters of faith.
Hugo Gorilla
I never thought I'd see the day when someone would heckle museum exhibits.

Hugo Gorilla
That wasn't meant for Spoony. Oh well.

Xenocide
But fossils are boooo-ring!

Spastic Avenger
Not just Yahweh. All gods.

numb
Are you kidding me with this shit? YOU ARE RUINING THE WORLD WITH YOUR STUPID.

DMKA
I couldn't make it all the way through.
Smellvin
Me, neither. I couldn't decide whether it was sad, hilarious, or frustrating.

baleen

Good luck getting into college, kids!
Also, that 50% Creationist statistic is way off, and very misleading.
The way it is staged is that if you believe in God, you are a Creationist, and if you don't, you are an Evolutionist. There is a lot of backlash in Christianity against these people, and I think it's the religious war aspect, not the staged religion vs science (which is what they want) war that will finally push these idiots into the margins forever.
Xenocide
Exactly. And Nightline plays right into this fallacy from the start when they introduce the story as "those who believe in God against those who believe in evolution." Fuck that noise. The largest branch of Christianity endorses evolution. Countless people in all faiths believe that evolution is the how and not the why. Lumping everyone into two camps and pretending that there's no room for nuance in a debate this complex just stupid.

Though not even close to as stupid as any of the stuff these idiots were teaching the kids.

jesustweak
These gentlemen have an unshakable belief in the literal truth of the Bible, which does have some amusing implications. If you don't believe in the literal truth of the Bible, what makes these particular bronze-age myths, or the Christian god relevant? In order to avoid conflict with ever expanding scientific knowledge, many religions make increasingly mundane claims of their influence and power. They are going out with a whimper, while these guys are sticking to thier guns and going out with a bang.


baleen

Well, Catholicism isn't really going anywhere. The Pope condemned Creationism couple years ago as a "cult," which is something I like to bring up with Creationists all the time. It really pisses them off, because it requires them to tap into their ancient anti-Catholic tribal tendencies. These are profoundly stupid people.

jangbones
Did that dude just say that dinosaurs prayed and fasted?

Heh. Wow, people will go a long way to hold on to the most asinine beliefs.
GoneGirl
No, actually, I think his argument is that the Tyrannosaur MUST have eaten plants because the idea of it praying and fasting is so ridiculous, and it can't eat other animals in a prelapsarian world.

The whole thing makes me want to pick up one of those kids and start running.

StanleyPain
T-Rex's hands were small and close together, though, so theoretically it COULD pray much easier than most dinosaurs.
WHich probably means it did.

dead_cat
And the god of this retarded scenario is incapable of creating some kind of magical vegetable matter that is just like meat, you know, to hold them over until the Fall he knew was coming down the pipes finally arrived?

Frank Rizzo
"without doing the math..."

I didnt think creationists believe in math.
Adham Nu'man
Christianity: Making kids retarded since 0 A.D.
Spoonybard
Actually, Christianity was a pretty progressive and scientific view of the world compared to the beliefs it replaced. It spread most quickly in urban centers. The more conservative rural folk preferred to stick with their beliefs about forest gods controlling the seasons or whatever, which the city folk saw is being retarded and easily disprovable. Those beliefs became known as "pagan" which came from the latin word for "rural."

Sound familiar?

baleen


Yes, and the Jesuits pretty much saved the Western intellectual tradition with the blood and sweat of their own hands. Christianity is a pretty big tent.

TeenerTot
I was floored at the irony of a bible thumper talking about circular logic.
"I believe in god because the bible says so. And I believe the bible cuz it's written by god."
Rudy
Billy Jack and Rusty.
Udderdude
Insanity.
Unmerciful Crushing Force
I went to the San Diego Museum of Man for my anthropology class once and there these jokers there. While the part of the tour I saw didn't include so much overt heckling I could remember the kids looking at the various dates and saying "Oh the Earth isn't millions of years old, only thousands!"

It was one of the saddest things I ever did see.
Dear Leader
One big prankster god.
ashtar.
Giant flying lizards? That was one of God's easiest jokes!

asian hick
"We might even say the 'J' word today! What's that? Jesus!"

Already instilling a persecution complex in their kids in the worst thing about this video.
asian hick
also, is there anyone in the area that could borrow a kid for a day and go on one of these? i'm pretty sure you could make billy jack and rusty cry with very little effort.

elm axo
'What made you change your mind?'
'COMMON FUCKING SENSE!

+5 stars for the reporters calm but obvious swaying toward the completly retarded stupidity of these chodes
rulestein
Both sides are wrong. Saying the earth is only 6000 years old is absurd, but the evolutionist saying earth is 4.5 billion years old is equally absurd.
minimalist
rulestein's got it all figured out. Suck it, scientists!

Corman's Inferno
I agree. No mention of Xenu at all.

Caminante Nocturno
COUNTERPOINT: Shaddup.

asian hick
Please to explain how a 4.5 billion year old earth is "absurd"

baleen

i read somewhere that atoms are like music, and if carbon dating were a band, it would be mott the hoople, who were only together for seven years.

Screwtape

Wow, can't argue with that logic.

takewithfood
It is a well documented fact (and not at all an example of an argument from personal ignorance; if that's what you're thinking you're way off) that the very fabric of reality is directly connected to rulestein's understanding of the universe. If rulestein does not understand something, it CANNOT BE.

Look it up.

StanleyPain
Actually I think you're right.

There's a school of thought now that our estimates might actually be wrong.

The Earth may be MUCH OLDER than we think.

Dr. Smooth
Yes Troll, EQUALLY ABSURD.

SARS
5-stars for the patronizing little girl near the end, and her "kkrazzy" hand gestures
citrusmirakel
"We believe Jesus was our designer, and our creator of... everything ever made."
NO NO NO, you dumb motherfucker. You believe GOD was your designer, which is why the Old Testament is still Canon. You also believe that Jesus is the son of God, who made himself a martyr for the sins of man. And you do NOT believe in the holy trinity of Father, Son, and The Holy Ghost being as one. Asshole can't even get his own religion right.

Those poor kids. Those poor fucking kids.
Adramelech
Yeah, this was what totally baffled me. These guys are so stupid they literally don't even understand their own belief system or what is and is not written in the Bible. I don't understand how people like this function enough to procreate and eat every day.

Ashenblade
I would like to give extra stars for you using the word "Canon" and instantly making me think of George Lucas retconning the Bible.


Yes, I'm a nerd.

SolRo
I want to heckle the shit out of one of these tours
EvilHomer
Homeschoolers.
wtf japan
"...30 home schooled children, or a 'sadness archipelago'"
SenilePlacebo
Five for the video and five more for the comment.

voodoo_pork
This is an asteroid of awesomeness colliding with Mt. Fail.
Camonk
It's bad science, but it's also a matter of belief. Nice moral equivalence you got going there, you vacillating faggot.
Camonk
And how do they explain the fact that all animals were designed originally to eat fruits and vegetables, and then started eating meat? So, the designs of these animals some how changed or--I don't know--evolved? INTERESTING!

kelpfoot
Creationists believe in superevolution.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/n1c0star/sets/72157600335006271/< br /> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mPPnN1c0jk
(Two links, same images. Use YouTube if you don't have a Yahoo account.)

kelpfoot
That news anchor may in fact be stupider than the creotards.

"...hallowed halls of fossils and prehistoric artifacts..."

For fuck's sake, does he listen to the shit that comes out of his mouth?
NoCode
Five stars for this video conjuring up the image of a Tyrannosaurus Rex fasting and praying with his tiny little arms held together in a gesture of piety.
SenilePlacebo
2:20

They believe that Jesus was the creator and designer of everything made?

I mean, Jesus Christ, can't these people even get their own myths right?
kelpfoot
Your typical YEC believes that Jesus = God. There's a Jack Chick tract somewhere that explains it.

RockBolt
How about we start some church tours where we stumble about and loudly proclaim everything in there is fairly tale art and retardation!
DrVital
Wait... They're complaining about circular reasoning after their argument that the Dinosaurs must have eaten meat because there was no meat until after the fall?

I hate them.
theSnake
Fucking disgraceful. This should qualify as child abuse.
ihounokyaku
As ridiculous as the creationists are, that math was really fucked up.
In order to add up 7 generations of 800 year-old people and end up with 5600 years, members of each generation would have to give birth on the day they died. Assuming people gave birth at about age 18, the number of years required to have 7 generations would be well under 1000.

That being said, the creationists are still full of shit.
Vicious
glasseye didn't come in here and start calling for a purge of religion again? Wow.
Pie Boy
Whose bones are on display?

Your bones.

My bones.

Bone's bones.

Bone bone bone.

Moonside.
Steve Airport
Huzzah! You really surprised me!

You're the man whose eyebrows are connected and who has a good tooth!

How about we dump these kids and go get something to drink!?

Spike Jonez
fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you
DopeFiend
These fuckers make me sick. Such earnest, punchable faces. Five stars for undiluted evil.
oogaBooga
What are we speaking in class? That's right, UNISON. Say it with me, U-NI-SON. Because speaking in unison makes it correct. Say it with me now, COR-RECT.
atheistgirl
I love creationists.
They're such morons.
Goethe and ernie
I like the way the presenter can't pronounce "divisive".

I also like the way those two dudes are actually mentally ill.
Shotgun Jackson
1-Put a saddle on that dinosaur already!

2-Jesus died for their stupidity.

3-I like when the kid says... With all the crazy stuff going on right now if the Earth were that old it would have fallen apart already. Touche'

4-This video makes me feel really good about myself the same way the Jerry Springer show does...

5-Jesus is an A-RAB just like Barak Obama.

6-Spell checker doesn't know who the President is.
Charles
It might if you spelled his name right.

Barack Obama.

Nevermind.

shutup_Aragorn
"Now everyone: look deep into my eyes... and repeat after me..."
IrishWhiskey
"Adding up the generations, there's a thousand years between Adam and Noah. I could be wrong on that though."

So close to scientific reasoning, and yet so very, very far
Angry Bear With A Laser
oh god they're just like branch davidians
i propose a pre emptive strike
Charles
I'll get the incendiary grenades.

bluiker
"It's a great fairy tale, but it's not good science."

Hahahaha. And lo, God smote the irony meter to fucking pieces.
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