Quad9Damage Y O U R P A R E N T S H E L P Y O U H O O K I T U P.
This ad is great for a number of reasons. It predates Nintendo Power, it has the worst lyrics of any ad ever ("With yo help aw hewo pulls thwough!"), it was plagiarized in the NP letters column, and glasses kid never stops moving his head, even before the jingle starts.
Smellvin I love how they even include the kid archtype of the nerd with the cool toys that lets everyone play with his toys in hopes that they become his friend.
boner Crystal meth: Your parents help hook you up.