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Desc:Cleanse your body with the healing power of ions.
Category:Advertisements, Science & Technology
Tags:scam, Charlatans, ions, ancient Japanese Reflexology
Submitted:RomancingTrain
Date:04/30/08
Views:2366
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Comment count is 23
ChocFullOfFunk
I've always fucking loved these ads. The best part is when they draw those teeny circles and point out the things like "metabolic waste" and "Heavy Metals." Also, those "Lab Results" are golden.
SolRo
So can you get into any legal trouble for selling useless bullshit products as long as you put tiny disclaimers on the bottom of the ad?
Smellvin
That's the genius of these things. Only idiots are going to buy them and use them. Idiots can't figure out how to design and execute (or fund) a double-blind experiment that proves these things are absolute bullpoopie. No proof of fail means no suit.

RedHood
...Cellulite?
crote
This was my primary question as well.

Randroid
This is fucking depressing all around.
Big Muddy
Finally! Something to treat my parasitic chemical cellulite!
wtf japan
Ah, trees. We're not so different after all.
Chizmurder
Shenanigans!
TeenerTot
But if you're lying down, shouldn't you put them on your ass cheeks?
Caminante Nocturno
"Are you poisoning yourself with the food, water, and air we breathe?"

I don't think I've ever inhaled a lungful of hot dogs and soda. Other than that, it's great to see Quentin Tarantino branch out into bullshit infomercials.
RockBolt
My uncle was utterly convinced that this was the real deal based solely on this ad and was willing to get into a screaming argument about it. I don't know whether to weep for humanity or invest in this company...
Walt Henderson
I think they mean "ancient Japanese secret to dirty feet."
NoCode
finally, somebody submitted this.

BECAUSE HUMANS ARE JUST LIKE TREES. Except for that whole thing where we're animals, and trees are plants, and we diverged around 350 million years ago.
Hooker
Kinoki Foot Pads have been around at least that long.

fermun
"Beware of cheap imitations."

I also really enjoy that they made a spin-off product. Anyone else seen the Kinoki Eye Patch yet?
Chalkdust
They never warn you against expensive immitations, though (probably because those ones are sold by the same company but with different packaging).

Menudo con queso
Anybody know what the 3 Chinese characters say? The first one is "wood", I think.
RomancingTrain
I think it means "roots."

Zombie Moseley
The last two together are "sap". Which is coincidentally a perfect description of the target consumer.

glendower
Oh, I was supposed to put those on my feet? I've been putting them on my penis!

BTW, I like the real life testimonials:

"Wow. That's all I can say. Wow."


Rodents of Unusual Size
This could fit into an SNL show.
j lzrd / swift idiot
Classic Dumb-People Scam.

Also: APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!
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