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Desc:Internet knife/sword company Cold Steel promos their zweihander. Take THAT, you crummy car hood!
Category:Advertisements, Military
Tags:zweihander, cold steel, test cutting, sales videos, big ticket items
Submitted:SharoKham
Date:05/18/08
Views:3275
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Comment count is 33
King of Balls
Seems like a straightforward enough business venture, but the clothes and music might confuse the demographic.
Blaise
So easy a caveman could do it.
j lzrd / swift idiot
I don't know how to smelt steel.

I'm a pretty shitty dwarf.

anvill
Watching Stouty McLarpington violate that hood for a full minute made my day.
SharoKham
It may improve your day to know that that guy's the president of the company.

notascientist
He's also a customer!

Bort
He's showing how you could be a hero with this sword. Like, suppose little Johnny has trapped himself in a refrigerator ... time's running out, but with your Zweihander you can poke air holes in that thing in no time.

I know what you're thinking, and you're right, it does mean you'd have to devote your life to patroling junkyards with your Zweihander. But wouldn't you want to be that guy? Driving around in your van (of course you'd have a van), looking for things that need to be stabbed or chopped.

ponpoko
He's totally debating whether he should twirl the sword around with a flourish after he cuts the meat.

For additional sword beardo fun, check the youtube comments for the latest news from the frontlines of the ageless katana-broadsword conflict
Camonk
I want to see this video!

Also, I think fatty just did that so he could get ready for his barbecue.

zatojones
comes ready for battle
petep
with a little bit of planning you could probably murder like three people

dueserpenti
See his fury as he chops the side of beef?
Doctor Arcane
Uh, Cold Steel is a pretty well known knife manufacturer, they also happen to make swords and other shit, but their main business is ka-bar rip offs and such.
SharoKham
I updated the description.

Jeff Fries
+1 for -0.01
kingarthur
What saddens me the most is that there's enough of a market out there for this adolescent power-trip fantasy for these guys to actually see a ROI on this.
AgentOrange
Anyone wearing phone book armor is fucked.
mcsancherson
needs demoniusx tag for -0:01
Udderdude
EAT IT, INANIMATE OBJECTS! :: THRUST ::
Black Napkins
I bought something from these guys just so I could continue getting the "fat guy cutting meat with a big ass knife to corporate techno music" DVDs.

Unsurprisingly, the knife handles roasts and turkey rather well.
KnowFuture
Well of course he has a beard.
oswaldtheluckyrabbit
Is this the guy who keeps sending Tripp Fisk those letters?
baleen

This is actually a dupe believe it or not but it's great.
Chalkdust
Hooray! I have a whole DVD of demonstrations from this company. Ah, the things you pick up for free at martial arts conventions. I also got the autograph of the guy who played Sub-Zero in the Mortal Kombat TV series for free!

Soup Nazi was there too, for some reason, selling autographed ladels for $40.
Vicious
My brother bought a knife in some shop in San Francisco and received their "GRAPHIC CONTENT" DVD which consists of them chopping meat, including a denim sleeve stuffed with steaks. It was beautiful.

teethsalad
dio - holy diver is god's most perfect soundtrack to this, i suggest you try
Caminante Nocturno
This is true.

kingofthenothing
I don't know, it's either that or Dokken's "Dream Warriors".

Hooper_X
That's exactly what I was thinking - if these guys were actually DRESSED like Dio, I would spend my life's savings to ensure that copies of this video were shot into space to be found by future generations or aliens or some shit.

kingofthenothing
It's too bad the video cuts off just before "the vision never diiiiieeeeessss" but the intro to the video and the song synch up pretty nicely.

I stand supremely corrected though. Dokken doesn't hold up.

Caminante Nocturno
5 for 'it comes sans scabbard.'
oogaBooga
If you're an object don't ever cross me!
petep
this sword doesn't give a fuck
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