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Desc:Kraft Mayo Cholesterol Sandwich Bacon, Egg and Cheese.
Category:Educational, Horror
Tags:fat, white people, heart attack
Submitted:Mike Tyson?!
Date:05/25/08
Views:3667
Rating:
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Comment count is 55
Monchiles Monchiles
This guy is painfully white. Around the four minute mark he starts sounding really out of breath.
Exegesis_Saves
Well, at 4:00, he does pause to lick the mayo knife (listen!).

chumbucket
his whiteness pains me as well...and yes he clearly enjoyed eating his maay-yo-naaaaise knife...5 stars for grilling that "bad boy"

Dave Scott
Did I miss something?

Dave Scott
I was licking the mayo off my fingers.

AND Fuck you!

Dave

Paranatural
You mean the part right at the beginning where he says 'I know I am cause it says so right here" isn't enough?

baleen

Ok, it's evil, but I'd totally eat the fuck out of that thing.
Camonk
I'm no fancy fucking celery and kale sandwich eater or whatever. But that was too fucking much mayonnaise. Otherwise, I love this guy, and his big fat wife must be really happy.

Dave Scott
Yeah you would. Talk shit all you want, you know all you mother fuckers would eat it. It was gooooood!!

AND HEY Why do I have to have a fat wife? She is 5 foot and around 110 lbs. She is 45 years old and looks damn good.
Fuck off asshole.
Thanks,
Dave

Aelric
this guy is awesome and i've let him know i think so. down-home, completely unhealthy cooking is the best tasting food in the universe and all you fancy-pants, healthy mclivelongs are missing out.
halon
Before my youtube account got banned (fuck you, sony/bmg) I talked to the guy a bit. He's pretty awesome and knows what's up with some delicious-ass southern cooking. His was the only channel I ever subscribed to.

KnowFuture
I can carry on a conversation with just about anybody about Elvis food.

Rodents of Unusual Size
I watched this while eating goji berry trail mix. So there.

Also, Kraft mayo is fucking gross.

KnowFuture
Grill, are you nuts?

Batter fry that bitch.
Desidiosus
If you eat it in one bite, the cholesterol goes through your body so fast it doesn't have time to fuck anything up.
KnowFuture
And there's also the solution Mitch Hedberg came up with where you eat something healthy along with the sandwich...like, it goes down to your stomach with, say, a carrot, and the carrot says "it's cool, he's with me!"

DrDoalot
Do people really spread butter like that? I mean shit it's not that much more difficult than mayo...
Desidiosus
If it's been sitting in the fridge it is.

citrusmirakel
Before I clicked on the link, I had a specific accent I was expecting to hear. And yes, I heard it.

"I'm 'onna buss my yellah."
Frank Rizzo
http://poetv.com/video.php?vid=33726

Mike Tyson?!
Yeah, I was showing my manager that guy at work today and I found this gem of a video in his collection of horrors.

Dave Scott
OH YEAH BTW!

C. Eloi Marx
1. I like how he calls thing by their colour: the "black" frying pan, breaking the "yellow" of the egg.

2. Could this be any worse for you; Wonder bread, American 'cheese', adding butter to an already greasy pan to fry the bread in, mayonnaise, did this really need the mayo. I'm just glad he didn't eat it on camera, because you know he is going to dip the sandwich in the bacon fat for extra flavour; plus he has a side dish of 3/4 of a package of bacon (that he cooked but didn't put on the sandwich) to throw down his gullet.

This video is the most deserving of the 'white people' tag that I will ever see. Please people top this, just try.
Dave Scott
You need to get a life.
Dave

Dave Scott
AND The bread is call Natures Own white wheat. It has fiber?
HAHA

Fuck off asshole!

Thanks,

Dave

Cleaner82
WE KNOW YOU ARE DAVE, DAVE. IT SAYS DAVE IN THE NAME 'DAVE' DAVE.

Not Dave

Ruteger
I make those all the time, but with ketchup instead of mayo and with two eggs instead of one (usually less bacon too)

A nice variation: While cooking up the bacon. Take those two eggs, scramble them up with some salt, pepper, potentially some herbs and spices. No, you're not going to cook them just yet. Take the bread, dip it in the eggs kind of like you're making french toast and fry them up, both sides. Put the bacon between the french toast-like bread and add ketchup.
Moustache McGillicuddy
Is this the head chef of jack in the box?
Dave Scott
No asshole. It is suppose to be a joke?
Dave

Big Beef Burritos Supreme
woah
Godard's Drinking Problem
Jes wannalil' moisdure therr... foma sanwitdge...
dead_cat
Oh good god, the mayonnaise. So much mayonnaise. Not even a good -- well, better than Kraft -- kind, either.

And then he LICKS THE KNIFE.
Rodents of Unusual Size
I like mayo, (not Kraft), but if you use too much of it, it's like...it's like your sandwich becomes a slip and slide. PLOOP PLOOP PLOOP

Ruteger
The Mayo is actually useful in this case. Because of the fat content in the mayo it acts as a sort of grease barrier. It helps keep the bread from getting soggy with the hot grease coming off the bacon and egg.

It works when it isn't an inch thick too. Try it when you're making a burger. If you take your burger with mayo, spread it on the bottom bun (A thin layer will work).

dead_cat
Oh no, I'm not anti-mayo; mustard's better, but mayo has its uses. It just really grosses me out when people overuse it - like in this video.

Dave Scott
Licking my fingers! Asshole
Dave

glendower
Is there any way we can deep fry this in bread crumbs?
Dave Scott
Hey, this is Dave! AKA JAYBOBED,

hahahahaha this site is great. But most of you are too stupid to see the humor in this video. it is suppose to be a Joke. Sarcasm is lost on the morons I guess.

THanks,

Dave
sparklefatty
Sarcasm? Why don't you just go ahead and teach people how to make their own handguns. That would be safer.

kennydra
All my stars are for Dave actually showing up and telling everyone to fuck off.
CornOnTheCabre
totally
Dave

i mean, way to go dave
Dave

AJ

imairlax
i can't stand the sight, smell, or taste of mayo, so this was like watching a snuff film.

also, AMERICA!
Cap'n Profan!ty
my dad used to make sandwiches just like this, only with sausage links too. he died of heart failure before age 60.
La Loco
That looks amazing, when he said he could fry the sandwich in butter I started yelling YES YES!!

You rock Dave, plus you're married and probably live in an area where obesiety isn't looked down upon so eat yourself to death and glory!!
Hooper_X
This entire post, video, comment thread assemblage has taken on the status of performance art.

Fight the fuck on, Dave.
thebaronsdoctor
I think the part of this video that upset me the most was the fact that Dave used the same pan to cook everything. Eggs become slimy. greasy, unappetizing fucks when you cook them in bacon grease.

Also: Bacon GOOOOOOOD
pastorofmuppets
It's not like I have bacon a lot, so when I do you better believe I fry the eggs in there. And I'll tell you another thing, sir, I completely disagree about the result being unappetizing.

Canine Feces
At first I was afraid he didn't know how to make a real cholesterol sandwich, 'cause he left the mayo off the second slice of bread. But he musta forgot at first, and he finally came through. That bad boy looks goooood! Except for one thang. Not enuf butter.
MightierThanTheSword
I don't believe this is the real Dave.

Not Dave
Cleaner82
But he's told you clearly many times, twice per post that he is Dave. I frankly think it's impossible that he isn't Dave.

Even Less Dave Than The Last Time I Asserted I Wasn't Dave

spork865
Bust your yella all over it
Riskbreaker
For Dave comments, and dammit, i would eat all that with no regrets. Well, just with less bacon.
Riskbreaker
Also, with less mayo.

Old_Zircon
Needs less mayo, more cheese
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