I would like to believe most women thought this way, truly I would.
Bitch, you're on my veil!
I would so marry her right now.
But can she cook?
|C. Eloi Marx |
I love how the obvious solution to having a dress (that is not yet even bought) that is one size to big is: being called a fatty, put on a starvation diet and given a work camp style exercise regime. Why don't they just give her a bucket and some ipecac; or I don't know, advise her to get a size larger dress.
IF YOU KEEP EATING FOOD, THEN IN THREE YEARS, YOU COULD LOOK PERFECTLY NORMAL.
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? IS IT???
I want to punch everyone in this video in the fucking mouth except Sarah Haskins, who I want to kiss in black and white on a New York street as tickertape rains down around us.
I don't know who she is, but I love Sarah Haskins.
Wow, that last show might be the most offensive thing I've seen on TV and I watch Fox News regularly.
I remember seeing a "cattle call" (ha ha because brides are all a bunch of fat heifers unless they go on the fatty fatty fat fat bride show and eat a yogurt diet) for the show Bridezillas in my area. These ladies don't get shit for being on the show but they do get to have their wedding professionally taped.
I'd make a comment about having shameful behavior forever recorded for posterity that one can show their progeny, but I have a feeling that anyone who'd be on Bridezillas wouldn't give a katamari about shameful behavior. And neither would their progeny.
Thank you POETV for introducing me to my future wife. We'll sit around and have normal food and make snide comments about people on TV. Oh god I'm so happy
Sarah Haskins is awesome. She needs her own show. more please.
|Mayberry Pancakes |
And here I was thinking Bulging Brides would be about women who were actually fat. Wow.
I will confess to loving Bridezilla, because it is the most openly trashy and terrible thing on planet Earth.
You guys fuck off. I'm going to be marrying Sarah Haskins.
Sarah Haskins interview:
I will admit to watching Bridezillas sometimes when bored, but I can't even stomach it anymore. About half the time its brides actually going fucking insane, and the other half of the time its her getting legitimately pissed when terrible stuff happens and still getting called a bitch. Upset that the caterer skipped town, or that the groom left you at the altar? You're obviously a coont. Those episodes are just as bad as this Fatty Bride show.
I'm going to go eat some fatty-fat-fat mac and cheese in honor of Sarah Haskins.
That was fantastic. I don't watch those shows and now I know why.
Women aren't funny and feminism is even less funny.
No, I think it is because you're really a weepy cunt.
Do you like to pound Bud Lights, brah brah?
|Caminante Nocturno |
Maybe I'd be more open to this sort of comedy if it was a guy whining about macho things in commercials.
Wait, that would be even more terrible.
These things are horrible.
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
"But that's what I look like now..."
I've always said that women are women's biggest enemies. She's pointing out that the 'women' s channels are a bigger source of keeping women 'down' than anything men do.
|Lies, lies, LIES! |
I'm sorry guys, but I'm marrying her.
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