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Desc:Warning: The star of the video dies, but hey, at least he had five seconds to make peace with God,
Category:Accidents & Explosions, Horror
Tags:skydive, idiot, fail, splat, how is that even supposed to work
Submitted:j lzrd / swift idiot
Date:06/19/08
Views:3316
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Comment count is 33
fermun
Hey, it's also perfectly safe to stay airborne. It is only in that transition between the two that trouble arises.
freedoom
No, its the sudden stop at the end of the transition.

FABIO2
The old Airforce saying: "Never jump out of a perfectly good plane."
RockBolt
There's no such thing as a perfectly good pilot

freedoom
The only thing that can be worse is if he skydived into a helicopter in flight which then crashed into an orphanage. the one surviving orphan gaining super powers and then attempting to take over the world.
zatojones
The observers walk away in shock but the one little boy present runs towards the dead guy
Caminante Nocturno
Even though the other witnesses slink away in fear and horror, Ness bravely runs to the scene. He's seen worse.

Far, far worse.

chumbucket
...and sees something he'll never ever forget

BiggerJ
The boy defeated an evil entity by (according to popular opinion) traveling back in time and aborting its fetal form while inhabiting a robot body and thinking that he'd never return to his own. This is small potatoes.

Aelric
so wait, if he didn't open his reserve, that means he had probable passed out during the drop. thing is, i thought it was an international standard to have a third, smaller emergency chute connected to an altimeter that deploys at a safe(r) level. perhaps not in columbia.

sure, there is no totally safe drop, but it's pretty close. and that margin of error is why we do it.
mouser
Dont reserves have an altimeter to them to cause them to automatically open should the main chute fail and you're unconscious?

Rafiki
Isn't there supposed to be a 4th chute that isn't actually a parachute, it just sprays confetti into the air if you hit the ground?

Aelric
rafiki is obviously in the industry.

mouser: i didn't say it right before but yes and no. some packs just have two, in which case the "reserve" is the emergency and is hooked to the dead man altimeter switch. the times i've jumped, which is admittedly few (6), the emergency was a third shoot.

Big Beef Burritos Supreme
Candy, actually. The boy walking towards the body knows that.

Repomancer
You are required to fill your pockets with quarters and candybars before jumping.

Big Beef Burritos Supreme
Click click click click. This lighter is so not wind proof.
boner
Someone has to die once in a while, to keep the sport exciting.
Repomancer
HE WENT SPLAT! ALL OVER

-1 for the supremely annoying narrator.
Desidiosus
-1 for no explosion of blood and guts over the treeline.

j lzrd / swift idiot
I hear skydivers basically bounce once when their chute fails, on impact, and stay intact; it's a different story if they're falling at an angle.

StanleyPain
If only Coleman Francis had been there to help.
Green
Coffee is a major plot point!

Monchiles Monchiles
Too far away from point of impact. No blood and guts. Still, a fairly entertaining minute.
Camonk
He's hurt! Hurt bad! What do we do? Run!
Keefu
The old Looney Tunes "no parachute" gag isn't so funny in real life, I guess.

At least, it didn't turn out to be an anvil though.
kiint
shnuff
TinManic
(to the chorus of Battle Hymn of the Republic):

Glory, glory,
What a hell of a way to die
With a rifle up your ass
And a bullet in the eye
Glory, glory,
What a hell of a way to die
When your ball hang lower
Than your paratrooper boots.
Repomancer
That doesn't even vaguely think about beginning to approximate a bad dream of the chorus of the Battle Hymn of the Republic's meter even if you ran it through Babelfish ten times while drunk. Are you sure you weren't thinking of "Freebird?"

athodyd
i love you cheetos
SpookyElectric
Columbia? COL.U.MBIA?!

:(
GusPlease
OH MY GOD WAS HE OKAY???
Cleaner82
"Oh my god I think he's dead..."

"... I could use a smoke, you coming?"

"Fuck yes."
Meerkat
And Kenny runs.

"Don't go Kenny, it will be horrible!"

"I don't care!"
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