I wonder how much that organization paid to get Hellwig to show? I mean, Barcelona's a nice town and I'm sure they put him up in a pretty decent hotel...

Even his makeup looks worn out and flakey.

Warrior REALLY likes children.

Five for the bored, empty eyes.

(assuming that he'll check any site that embeds the video)

Um, Jim, you don't own the rights to the name "Ultimate Warrior." You can go by Warrior, what with being stupid enough to change your name to that legally, but "Ultimate Warrior" remains a WWF-owned trademark.

Also: nice jacket. I'm sure it impressed the ten people in the room almost as it'll impress the fifty people who'd pay to see you wrestle in a high-school gym.

Where is the insanity tag? That tag goes hand and hand with Ultimate Warrior.

Inredients For Win:
-graying hair
-"soul print"
-airbrushed clothing
-creepy love of children
-he looks like someone's dad
-needs "motivational speaker" tag :)

His empty, black eyes call to me like a song from the glistening depths of the ocean.

Also +5 for the "group of thugs" analogy

+1005 for the snort at the end