Seriously, this set-up would be cheesy in any video game, but with the Disney characters... it almost seems like parody.
It's so hard to be sad when you have the voice of Donald Duck mourning your friend.
You should see some of the Donald Duck in the military cartoons. Stuff like Donald and Pete thinking Donald had been sliced in HALF and crying over his imminent death together provided some of Disney's most surreal moments.
I hate when you run out of Phoenix Downs.
This game is a triumph of hilarity.
This is the first I've heard of Kingdom Hearts.
Is the whole game like this? Because this is...something
No joke. It also featured Angela Lansbury, Haley Joel Osmond, Dan Castelleneta, Harvey Fierstein, Zach Braff, James Earl Jones, Pat Morita, Gilbert Gottfried AND Jesse McCartney. Pretty much every voice actor of the last 20 years who did anything for Disney was hauled in to revoice a little cameo skit that took place before you went out and whacked things.
|Unmerciful Crushing Force |
I just wish they had made Goofy take a more Christ-like pose, then the need for PoeTV would be complete.
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
I laughed so hard when this happened.
|Bitter with a side of Rice |
If he'd just stayed dead, it would've almost redeemed the game. Considering how uniformly terrible it was, this is saying something.
Now this is truly what makes a great game.
|Caminante Nocturno |
So, imagine Aeris dying like this.
EXTRA CREDIT: Imagine Goofy dying like Aeris.
"Garsh! It's so, so cold!"
In retrospect, he clearly needs to give the YA-HOO-HOO-HOOEY! shout when he gets beaned.
I've never actually played one of these games.
Now I am kind of glad but also kind of sad.
But mostly glad, right?
Does Goofy come back at the end to bestow wisdom onto the anime faggot character in the form of a ghostly apparition?
He comes back like five minutes later. He was just stunned.
Goofy's fallen off giant cliffs while trying to learn how to ski and walked away with nary a scratch. A bonk to the head isn't going to stop that immortal sumbitch.
He comes back, like, one fight later having only been rendered unconscious by the giant rock. They kill him off for all of five minutes
Donald is sorry about the ice cream. But not so sorry that he's not going to leave Goofy's corpse to rot in the sun.
This is just like a fanfic I wrote 1996.
It really is Shitty Fanfic: The Game.
Moments like this is why I loved this silly game.
Oh god the Youetube comments:
"Christ, I DID cry."
"Ditto for me, I just about cried too."
"man, I wanted to see this scene again since I finished mine already... I almost cried here..."
This game's audience are a bunch of weepy-weep men
So... watching the deaths of the Disney heroes we grew up with is fine and hilariously dandy... but WHY do people like this game? Because unless the rest of it is like a Tarantino movie, it just seems like a perversion.
I think people like these games because deep down, everyone knows how insane of a premise it is, and they want to see how crazy it gets, and having played these games myself it gets totally nuts by the time the DS game rolled around.
God help me, I enjoyed the first Kingdom Hearts. The premise was mostly "hey, team up with Disney characters and perform FF spells because why the fuck not?" and it did a nice job of translating FF magic into real-time battles. The second game is just running down corridors to get to the next convoluted, horrible cutscene. Occasionally you'll fight an enemy, at which point you just mash the attack button over and over and do a quick-time event that causes Sora to bounce all over the walls like an idiot.
SPOILERS: Goofy gets back up within about 10 minutes. Also Sora's childhood friend who was supposed to wield the world-saving weapon but lost the privilege because he lost his heart went missing into a void and comes back after Sora finds out the little girl he met in a white room was actually part of his girlfriend's soul and so when he gets his soul and his girlfriend gets her soul, his old friend comes back but was disguised as an older man who was the final boss in KH1 but in reality that boss was just stealing the identity of a wise sage who met Sora's friend and let him turn himself into a clone of the villain who pretended to be him and it turned out the friend was helping Sora all along from the sidelines BUT DON'T WORRY NOBODY TOLD SORA BECAUSE HIS FRIEND ASKED THEM NOT TO!!!!!
... KH2's story is a mess.
Agreed. With Kingdom Hearts you got this quaint little mash up with a story that was fun and easy to follow. KH2 is a convoluted disaster that you can only begin to understand if you played the shitty Gameboy Advance midquel. What's that? You DIDN'T play Chain of Memories!? Too bad, motherfucker! Now you just have to deal with these guys! And these guys and these guys!
And yes, the maps in KH2 are very linear. They are literally a straight walk from one door to the next followed by a cutscene.
I've tried to play KH2 like three times but I always quit out of sheer boredom with that Roxas bull at the start. Fuck that game (in comparison to KH1)
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